Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Day 4: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

From Google images
Today, Blogher is asking a somewhat difficult question.  What would I change about myself, and it has to be one thing.  Before I give my answer to this question I do want to say this:   If you were to ask me this question about 25 years ago, I would have given you more than one thing.   I did not like myself as far as the way I looked.  I wanted to be someone else.   I always thought I was beautiful, but as a child I wanted to model, become a professional dancer, and an actor.  To get the most money out of these professions, you have to be tall enough, and I was told on several occasions by family members that I would never be tall enough to do these things.  On top of that, my forearms are short, so that also would have put a damper on my plans. 
In these professions, people are looking for long lines, not how well you can show off a dress, deliver a line, or execute a move.   They want to know if they put you in a photo shot, play, or dance number how well you look with others.   In other words, these professions will do the old “school yard” trick, where they taunt and tease you for your looks, before they praise you for your talent.  What they do not realize is that a person who is 5 feet can display objects and do well as a person who is 5 feet 10 inches.   So, what do you think my answer will be in the next paragraph or two in today’s question?
My answer is not a physical change.   I stopped growing at age 13 like most girls, and the doctors told me that due to a couple of bone problems in my arms at birth, my forearms were not going to get any longer.  Only pixie dust and a bit of magic could change that.   Leave that one to Tinkerbelle, another Disney fav of mine. 
My answer is simply about how I open my mouth.   I have always been a quiet person.  I get that from my mother.   I would love to be able to talk a little more and I have gotten a little better.   I do not like talking over people, because I feel like I am not getting my point across when a lot of people are talking at once.  Is it frustrating? Yes it is, because I often do not get a chance to say what I need to say. 
A perfect example was Sunday.  It was All Saints day, and during the sermon, my pastor asked members of the congregation to list the saints who have go on and have help that person to be where they are today.  I stood up at the last minute, she did not see me.  She went on with her sermon.   Mommy urged me to speak up, but I said no.  I was going to mention my grandparents and a friend who had died in 2002.  If I had been a little more aggressive about it, I would have interrupted before my pastor could go on, but I did not.   This is the time I needed to change.   I would have said, “Excuse me, I have something to say, “And said my peace.
Sometimes, being quiet is a good thing.  I can listen to someone, without interrupting, and say something after that person has vented, cried and basically get it off their chest.  Sometimes all a person needs is for someone to talk to and to listen to them.  If you always have something to say, you may miss things, because you are always talking.   This is what I always tell my sister, who is the opposite of me.  She is also taller too. 
So sometimes, wanting to change something may be a bad thing too.  I learned to accept the physical things that are wrong with me, to love myself.  I had often wondered if I had the opposite problem of being a tall girl, what that would be like?  That problem came to a girl I knew in the 5th grade.  I was the shortest and she was the tallest at 6 feet.  We were both teased.   So think about it?

Comment below, and be blessed my friend, and love yourself the way God intended you to be. 

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