Rites of passage

Original Oscar and Current Oscar the Grouch

Next Sunday is my birthday and while I enjoy having birthdays (who doesn’t), this one is very different from all others.  My question:  For everyone who has turned 49 before me, how has it made you feel?   No doubt, it has been a joy to be ages 1-48, and I have had my moments where I did not want that age to end. Here is what I have enjoyed (or not):

Ages 1-5:  Being pampered 24/7, learning how to get around, and learning how my body moved (Point shoes cannot touch these toes now, and I am mad). Being one of the first preschoolers to enjoy Sesame Street (Did you know that Oscar the Grouch was the color orange and Big Bird had a triangle head?). Experiencing Kindergarten, but to be told by my Kindergarten teacher that I since I could not spell Patricia, they could no longer call me by my middle name, Lynn.  (I think because my teacher’s first name was also Lynn, she decided that two Lynns could not be in the same classroom, LOL.)

Ages 6-17:  Being “big girl.” Taking music and dance lessons. Becoming a big sister to a baby boy.  Girl Scouts, Youth meetings, and accepting Jesus as my Savior at age 11. Finding my way. Family trips. Choosing my career (which has changed 10 times since then). Forming friendships that last a lifetime (even if I no longer see them except through Facebook). Graduation day.

Ages 18-24:  Becoming an adult, going to college, my first job, and  still being able to stay in my parent’s home as long as I wanted to (I moved out at age 34). Getting my first credit card (I have since then been credit card free due to some rotten choices I made in 2007).

Ages 25-35:  Still waiting for that special someone to walking into my life and sweep me off my feet (and still waiting, but I have been looking). Finding out at age 29 that I could never give birth to a baby after wanting to be a mommy so bad (fibroids, OB/GYN surgeons, and finances can be so cruel). Becoming an aunt to a now 6” 1’ 17 year old in 1996. Becoming a sister to a 6 year old little girl (who is now a responsible young woman of 2).  My first apartment and buying all my essentials with a credit card (This is not a bragging right). Discovering that I actually love technology and paper crafts (even though I still kicking and screaming at the thought of digital scrapbooking and digital card making).

Ages 36 to the present: Finally getting my Bachelor’s Degree in a subject that truly I love (only to find out that I need my master’s degree to fully understand it). Becoming an aunt to a baby boy in 2007, a baby girl in 2008, and another baby boy in 2010 (and still wanting to become a first-time mommy).  Learning to celebrate the person who I become and slowly embracing becoming a 50 year old in 2014.  Becoming an entrepreneur after a string of rotten jobs. I was either fired for not making a quota that they (not me) can live with or made me quit because they could not bring themselves to pay me beyond $8.15 an hour (their loss, my gain, and I deserved better than what I was given).

The future (49 and beyond):   While I love all the things that I have accomplished in my life so far, I have some things that I still want to tackle.   I still want to be a mommy (being just an aunt will not do).   I still want that man in my life, who can sweep me off my feet (at 35, I questioned my sexuality that time, and I am a happily, single heterosexual to this day), but I am not afraid of doing the single mommy thing either if he does not come along (how am I going to explain that to my little girl).   I want a house with lots of room for me and my family plus my businesses.  I still want the family trips with my parents and my siblings.  I want to be the person that God wants me to be.  I want to help in any capacity that I can do, without hesitation, and without limits.   I want to still own up to my truth, which is real and genuine.  I want to make the kind of money that will allow me to afford a need, not afford a want.   It is ok to buy things, but why buy a Bentley when a Honda will do the job nicely.

So as age 49 slowly creeps around the corner, I am looking forward to what I have to accomplish at that age, for in 2014, I will be starting the second half of my life.  Not bad for a baby whose doctors thought that since I had a disability, I would be depending on my parents for the rest of my life.  What the heck do they know about me?  They do not know me, what I am capable of, or how strong my will is. It was all through the people God placed in my life; my friends, family, co-workers, clergy, and people who were there just a second that made me the person I am, and who I am going to be in the future.  I cannot say that my life is not perfect, and I have had my meltdowns in all stages of my life, so if you are struggling with what you are going through, take inventory of your life, and see the blessings.  That is what this post is really all about and the basis behind this blog.

Be Blessed, my friend.