Judgement of others (my commentary of the last few days)

(c) 2015 Goggle Images

“I do not friend a person, just because we are like-minded. I friend a person because they are unique and may show me something different then the way I am thinking. I want to show them that uniqueness in me too. I am Christian, but not all Christians speak for me. I do not judge, because Jesus said not to judge, because I do not know what plans God has for that individual or that group. I find this as a test for me and MY tolerance on how the world works. I am there for anyone who wants to bend my ear. I know my beliefs, and no one can take that away from that. I will never "thump the bible" at an individual, nor unfriend a person, because of their journey. We all have something to learn from all of this, from Trayvon Martin to health care to this passing of Gay Marriage Supreme court. Sorry I am a bit long-winded. In this life, we all have journeys, and it is no my say what another person's is, unless they are in the process of hurting themselves or others. Hmm, I think I will write this in a blog post, but you see what I mean”

A person on Facebook unfriended one of my Facebook friends.  The reason:  because of her views on today’s ruling.  In case you live outside the United States, today was a very big day in the LGBT community.  They can now get married in all 50 states of the country.  Everyone is going crazy, and many Christians do not like it.  I do not like it, but who am I to judge? 

I do not have the authority to judge anyone.  Only God can make that judgement, and that will happen when we die and we stand before Him.  This is my belief, no one has that right to take that away from me, no more than I have that right to take away a right from anyone who wishes to get married, and the law of the land deems it so. 

I can comment, but please do not make the mistake of my comments as being judgmental, because it is not.  We all have our own opinions on how the world should run on our own terms.  For some, it is based on gender.  Remember the phase, “A woman’s place is in the kitchen?”  It was no doubt quoted by a man, who went by his strict bible teachings, that he is the head and ruler of his household, and the bible does speak on that, but this is a new day and time.  For another group, it is based on race.  This is through hatred of others, feeling superior to them, and the bible does speak against that hatred, and that we are to “love one another as Christ has us to love.”  It has nothing to do with “succeeding” or anything else except for that person to say, “I have a power so strong that my ways are the right ways.”  To that, I want to say, “Since when?” I also want to know when do you have the power to keep people from doing what you think is natural law, and I want to know what is your brand of natural law?  In fact, if you think that it is natural for a person, I do not care what color or gender you are, to oppress another culture, race, gender, or belief?  If so, WHO ARE YOU?  DO YOU THINK YOU ARE BIGGER THAN GOD ALMIGHTY?   If so, then in my eyes, that is pure evil at its best, and I do not want no part of it.  I believe in love, God is love, and God, through his word said, “Love thy neighbor as thyself”.  If you believe that killing those 9 people in Charleston, SC last Wednesday was the best thing that ever happened in this country in a long time, then your way thinking is no better than the person who did the actual killing. 

I choose to forgive, because if not, then my soul will not rest.  I choose to forgive any oppressors, because forgiveness works.  I choose to not protest, because sometimes protesting can turn out bad.  I choose to live my life the way God has me to live my life, because it works for when I stand before Him.  I do not like conflict and I do not like drama.  For all of this that has happened, it serves as a wake-up call for me, because the world is busy, and the world is so judgmental.

Stand up for your beliefs, especially those beliefs that are for good.  Please do not judge, because you do not know that person’s process through their journey called life.  Everyone has a journey, a quest, a task in life, however and whatever you want to call it.  Let God deal with it and that person.  He has a plan for everyone, rather you believe it or not.  You deal with yours. 

This goes for your children, if you have any.  Your task as a parent is to get your child through the first 18 years of their life.  To teach and to nurture them.  You are to help them hone in their belief system.  In other words, you are the building block for your child.  You can also learn from your child as well.   No one is born hating another race, gender, or lifestyle.  So if your child wants to be friends with someone from another race, for example, and you have a profound hatred towards that race, let your child teach you how to love enough to at least respect that person’s differences and way of life.  You do not have to invite them over for dinner, but do not go into their neighborhood and start a hate war either.  There is room for all of us, if you let it. 

Me in a nutshell…A look back at opportunity

(c) 2014 P. Lynne Designs

I am always looking for new topics for all 5 of my blogs.  They all have been in sort of a hiatus.  My world is changing, and in some ways I can say for the better, and in others, not so much.

I was inspired with this topic by a friend of mine, where she talks about herself, and how she found herself through job interviews.  She has a new job, and even though she loved the old one, Kelly felt like it was time to move on.  She enjoys her new job, which has similar duties from the former one.  In fact, it was at the former job where I met Kelly.

Anyway, as I read her blog post, I could not help but to think about myself over the years.  I have changed so many jobs since I started working at the age of 21, and the reason why I did not have the typical after school jobs was pure laziness in my school work.  Working was a privilege in my home, and it was important for me to get to and through my senior year in high school.

Anyway, fast forward to age 21 and my first job.   I was an assistant daycare helper at an Easter Seals facility.  I enjoyed my job, but it was only a summer job.  The kids were great, but, I was sad to learn how some of them became disabled, but I could not show sympathy, because then a child would not learn how to master a task.  That sympathy had to become a caring, but nurturing way for them to have that courage to learn how to do something, which most of us take for granted.  I will not tell you about all of my first jobs, but this was one of the jobs, which still stands out in my memory. 

What I found out about myself is that I am a very loving person, who sometimes wear her heart on her sleeve.  I am trusting, but not too trusting that I am not asking the right questions.  I am nosy, but only because I want to make sure that whoever is involve in that situation is given a fair chance.  I am quiet, a good listener, and a thinker.  I want to make sure I get all the facts the first time.  I repeat things often to a person, because I want to make sure that you, the listener, get all the facts straight, and right.  I am an advocate, because I believe that rules should be fair and just.  They are not always that way, but I want to try.  I do not like conflict, and I do not like starting fights. I want everyone to just get along.   I will defend you, but do not expect me to put my hands up in a fist fight.  I do not like guns.  I am a Christian, but I also believe in a person making their own decision.  I can only tell you the truth, and you decide how you want to take it in.  I am for human rights. I love a good cry.  I am humble.  I will let someone else have a turn first.  Those are my strengths.

My weaknesses are sometimes I am too quiet.  I am shy, and still have a hard time speaking up.  Some of my strengths can sometimes become my weakness if I make the wrong decisions.  I am still working on my temper (yes I have one of those).  I cry at the drop of a hat, especially if I am hard on myself, and lately, I have been a little too hard.  I sometimes do not recognize my own talents, and therefore, I have lost a lot of opportunities.  I am now playing catch-up, but I am grateful for what I have.

My tip for teens and young adults, your first job is not your last job.  Just because you are working at McDonald’s today, that does not mean you will be working there tomorrow.  Make the best out of everything you do, because you never know….you could be waiting on your next boss.  Do not be so quick to make the fast money.  It will come, IF you work hard.  If you are always waiting on someone to always give you something, you will never get it.  You have to EARN IT.  There are many ways of earning it, and some take longer than others, but you will get there.  There is a reason why Missouri is the “Show Me” state.  People want you to show them that you have what it takes to be the next big thing to come into their lives.   The next big job does not have to come from Hollywood, Broadway, or the record labels either.  In fact, very few people get DISCOVERED.  If you feel that this is your calling, you have to be willing to show up at every audition, no matter what.  Always remember, everyone has a purpose in life, no matter how great or small.  In fact, you may have to work behind the scenes first.  At the end of the day, always be grateful for what you have accomplished, and never complain about what you have not done.  If it was meant for you, it will come soon enough, but you must have patience. 

In the rush of things to come….

(c) 2015 Google images 

Did I just come up with that title for today’s prompt?   OK, this is not how I wanted to start out, but I am waiting on my client to tell me what he wants me to next in setting up his payment accounts.  I will have to talk about that in the next post.

Ah, the next post.  Posting has been a little sporadic for me in the last month or so on all of my blogs.  That does not mean that I am ready to give up blogging.  Life took a change for the better, I hope.  It has to do with that client I just mentioned, plus, I am making some changes in my scrapbooking business, which I hope will help me in the long run.  But I will get back into my regular routine when things settle down.

OK, so I was going through my writing prompts for today, and I came across this one:  “Tell us about your morning routine”   I will have to admit that I used to have a morning routine.  I am finding out in the now 6 years since I stopped commuting to a work place, that I have the morning routine of a retired person, LOL.  Please, I do not mean to offend a person who is retired, but I do.  I cannot speak for the other entrepreneurs, but my routine is quite simple:  Get out of bed, think happy thoughts (pray), bop down to the computer, and read my email, Facebook, and other social media.   I skip breakfast, which is nothing new, since I did that when I was commuting.  By that time, it should be lunch, and I eat that.

What I SHOULD be doing:  Wake up, do devotions in bed, do a good washing of the face and teeth (I do a 5-minute thing, unless I have somewhere to go), bop down stairs, eat breakfast, then do everything else.  I do a workout twice a week (I am getting use it). 

Should life be so rushed that you skip half your routine?  I do not think so, especially for a single with no kids.  Besides that, what am I going to do when I do have a kid?   

Tablet wars: Time for an upgrade…

assorted tablets (c) Goggle files 

I have an Ipad 2.  I love this tablet.  I think it is the bomb, but lately, it has been acting like a bomb.  Why?  Well, even though I have only had it for 2 years, it is considered in the tech world, old.  Since the time my father gifted me this computer (folks, it is a computer), Apple has come out with the Ipad 3, 4, Ipad Air 1 and 2, and the Ipad mini 1 and 2.  In addition to the Apple tablet products, Android has come out with some tablets, as well as Windows. 

Now one would argue that I should get a tablet that matches my smartphone.  OK, I have a Samsung Galaxy S III phone, and when I upgrade this year, it will most likely be another Samsung phone, because I just looove this phone.  I did not get an Iphone, because to me, that is overkill, and as long as my phone can sync with the Ipad, that can sync with my Dell All in One Desktop computer (yes, I said DESKTOP), I am good.  I am not one of those people who needs all of my electronic gadgets become one product.   After all, I got my first desktop when I was 16 (graduated from high school in 1982).  A desktop was all you had, and you had to program the darn thing yourself to even type a letter.   OK, I am dating myself, so let’s move on.

The current Ipad is 16GB, which is not that big.  I need the next size up, which I believe is the 32GB.  The reason why I am taking some time to make a decision, is my budget.  I know it has to be done THIS YEAR.  When I received my Ipad, I thought that I would just use it to do some reading, a little game playing, and looking up something on Google when my desktop is occupied with the bigger programs (MS Office, viewing email, and so forth).  I could have been wrong in my assumption.  I use my tablet for almost all business functions, when I am at my parent’s house (you do not dare touch dad’s computer, LOL), then there are my favorite apps (Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, Etsy, Netflix, and Audible) that I cannot live without.  I also use the MS Office apps on my Ipad (yes Office lovers, there is finally an app for that, and Microsoft listened).   Do not forget the games.  I had already maxed out my storage once, and ad to clear out some things, and now I am nearing that crucial mark again. 

So, back to the decision-making…I can always go with the Ipad 4, BUT, the Apple Air 2 sounds so nice.  Mini Ipad 2 gives me the small screen, and is perfect for the big purse I use to carry the current one in, but then there is always Windows Surface 3, if I want to get rid of the IOS software altogether.  The only problem is I have a Cricut Explore Electronic Die Cutting Machine, which only uses IOS software for me to connect with if I want to design, and have it cut while I am upstairs.  Again, so many choices, but who knows.  I forgot to mention the Kindle Fire.

 I may just end up with a laptop, or just jump ship. 

Health Problems and how the average extended family approaches it. Humor

This is another humor post today.  It is how health is approached by my family.  I want to first say, do not kill the messenger.   I am one person, who like most, is dealing with day to day ups and downs.  Lately, there have been a lot of downs in my life, but it is getting better.  I am in no way a comedian. Nor do I want to be.  They have a place in our world.  Some have a little bit more raunchier material than others, but that is how they see their world, and they welcome anyone, who happens to be in it, if only for an hour.  It helps them let off a little steam.  Well, this is my steam releaser, and I promise to return to my regular posts soon.  It also helps that we poke a little fun at ourselves every once in a while, without hurting one another.  

I have been diagnosed with a couple of things that could be life changing for me.  Before I get to that, I want to explain my backstory (remember:  everyone has a backstory).  When I was born, and I explained it in another post, I have a cataract in right eye.  My parents and I were told when I was age 9, that it could not be removed.  I was legally blind (not blonde, but blind) in that eye.  What that simply meant was I may qualify for the dog assistance program or not (depending on how my left eye cooperated).  My left eye works great, and sees for both my eyes.  I can tell the difference between light and dark, and I know shapes.  I just cannot read or drive with right eye.  I am also missing a long bone in one arm, and have a partial long bone in the other.  This produces short arms.  I would look up the medical term for that, but I could not pronounce it, even if I tried. I had surgery when I was 8 to straighten my left arm.   I do not worry, because between the two, I am like any other fully functional adult. 

I also have Eczema, which was diagnosed at 8 months.  I have now been flare-up free for 3 years.  A rough patch of dry skin every once in a while, but nothing like a dose of ointment to take care of that.  That is nothing to prepare me for a few more things.   I have high blood pressure.  I was diagnosed two months before my Disney World trip in 2004.  There are meds involved, but it is nothing compare to what I call “the ambush” by family, especially my father’s side.  After all, it is in the DNA   

First of all, they welcomed me to the “High Blood Pressure” club, if there is ever such a club.  To me, it sounded more like a celebration of some sick sort of a dream.  All of a sudden, I was getting offers (especially from my dotting father), such as “what meds are you on?”, and my personal fav, “You know you are not supposed to sprinkle salt on that”.  I know I had already cut my salt intake by half before the diagnoses, but they kept on picking and nagging.  (Way to go, familia) I thought to myself, as I wanted to say to the elders (both living and dead), “Thank you for the DNA”, it was bad enough that I inherited the short arm thing (I had two aunts born with the condition, I was the first to survive it), now this.  My father, who had HBP since he was 17, still does the sprinkle (of the salt that is).  I had taught myself long before this to “taste before sprinkling”….

….Two weeks ago, I was told that I was “pre-diabetic”.  I do not know what that means.   Either I am diabetic or I am not.  Please make up your mind.   I had a crap in my foot, my right foot, which would not go away.  Now I am already prone to injuries due to being a dancer.  Ladies (and a few good gentlemen), you are never a former dancer.  Once you are a dancer, you are always a dancer.  You are just not active in that field anymore (or maybe you are and hate to admit it).  Usually my left ankle will swell.  I found out through physical therapy that I had torn a tendon in my foot, and it never healed properly.  It probably happened during the “stubborn” period in my life.  That point where the foot feels fine, and I can continue doing Jetés or rise fully “en pointe” with no problem, when there was actually a problem.  Anyway, back to the situation.

The pain was to the point, where I had to do an emergency appointment with my doctor.  I could not drive, so my father had to pick me up.  My mother was already there, because she had an appointment with same doctor.  I could not walk in, so my father had to get a wheelchair, so I hobble over to the chair, and a nurse wheeled me in.  After a look over, my doctor wanted a blood test, so I had to be wheeled by my mother over to “The Vampire” to take some blood.   Once done, I was given a muscle relaxer prescription, and off we went.  A few days later, my doctor sent an email, stating she was watching my thyroid, and “NO SWEETS”, because my sugar levels were a little high.   I was only good for one week on the “no sweets” thing.

Question:  How do you tell a lover of all things chocolate no sweets?  I cannot quit cold turkey.  I have only told my mother, because my father or the rest of the aunts and uncles (on both sides) cannot handle that, and I cannot take another “Ambush” like what happened in 2004. 

I have already decided to lose the weight (yes, I am big boned, LOL), but short.  I do not feel short, just call it, “I can hit the ground from a standing position faster than taller person.” Stools are my friends, because taller people do not understand my plight, and they never will.  They sometimes feel annoyed when I ask, say the grocery store manager, if they can just put my favorite foods on a lower shelf.  I can reach things on the next to last shelf, and they must think, as they chuckle to themselves, they have the last laugh of the day, as I stand on the bottom to get an item.  Hey, I even laugh, because I do not have the sense of getting one of them to get an item for me.  But anyway….I drink smoothies without sugar (the stuff at McDonalds is not healthy, just tasty).  I put spinach or kale for the iron, avocado, blueberries, strawberries, banana for the sweet portion, and watermelon.  Sometimes I switch it up.   I do sweets once a month, sushi twice a month (big seafood eater), and I hardly cook with butter (even though it is in the fridge.)  I even joined a gym.  So I am getting there.

So when you feel “ambushed” about your current or future health situation, remember that some else in your life will hold your family’s attention soon enough, like your taste in men. 

Here comes the long-winded wedding season….Dear Couple (Humor)

I love a good wedding.  It is nice to see two people you know grow and blossom as a couple.  First dates, meeting of the parents, and meeting of the rest of the family.  It sounds so simple, so cute.   Then he proposes that special someone, and then the nightmare begins.

Before I move on, I am talking about the traditional, man and woman marriage.  This is what I am familiar with.  I apologize if I am getting ready to offend some people.  Everyone is so sensitive these days.  I will move on…

1.       Setting the date.  Please dear couple, set the day that works with you, not with Aunt Mary, Uncle Joe, and the Bobsey Twins, who future wifey has known since the age of 2 (probably has not seen them since that time either).  If you set a date of July 21, and they cannot make it, do not change the date.  After all, it is your day.

2.      Location.  You do not need a lovely church wedding in a church.  After all, God is everywhere.  It is just a building.  What if the day of your wedding, the church burns down?  Where are you going hold the wedding, inside the burnt building? Select a venue that is right for both of you.  Now I do not suggest the McDonald’s you first laid eyes on each other.  Make it tasteful, like a beautiful garden, the Bahama’s, or Disney World (I have dibs on the Teacups).

3.      What to wear.  Men, it is simple…Pants, Tie, Shirt, Jacket (traditional) or shorts and a t-shirt saying, “I am the groom”.  For the bride and her ladies: Dress (white-no kids; non-white-kids), hose, and heels (traditional) or cute skirt and top that says “I’m the bride.” Dear couple, please do not make your wedding party wear something that you would not.  Ever heard of the ugly bride’s maid dress.  Yep, I thought so.

4.      Location of the reception.  First off, receptions are supposed to be fun and playful.  After all, you are celebration the union of a man and woman, now together as one.  First off, please do not make the location a secret.  We, as your wedding guests need to know what to plug into the GPS. Nothing cryptic like “go south until you see 3 moons rising in the east.”  First off, the Earth has one moon.  Second, is that the name of the venue?   Nothing like getting 123 1^st street and 123 First Avenue mixed up, especially if this is your first time in the city.  Second, have a venue where everyone can get in.  Nothings worse than to get to a location, and then have problems getting in.  It isn’t easy trying to walk up a flight of stairs, then down a flight of stairs in 6” heels in order to find a seat, only to find out that the table is reserved for a guest how never shows up.  Remember dear couple to include detailed instructions on how to get to wedding and the reception (if in a different location)

5.      It cost what!!!! Do not stress about it.  If you had a budget in the beginning, you will not end up with a wedding cost that causes you to hawk your first born child before they are conceived.  Keep things simple and light.  You want to remember this day.  You can still barter to get what you want at a reasonable price.  That’s what wedding planners do. You set a budget, tell them what you want in a wedding, and they get it done.  They meet the needs of your budget.

6.      The ceremony.  OK, this goes mostly for the people of color. I was explaining this to my cousin on Facebook a few minutes ago.  She had gone to a white wedding ceremony.  She was surprised that it was just 10 minutes.  It started on time, and was over with.  IN 10 MINUTES!!! I realize that it is your day, but this is what I explained to her…

”Yes, because we got have everyone's relative in the wedding processional, walk 10 times as slow, need to have 10 singers before the processional. The baby will not drop the flowers right, and we are having problems with the runner that will not lay down right. We need to say prayers for the bride, then the groom, then the family, lights 55 candles (only 10, but it seems like 55). Oops, forgot to say blessings over the organist, need to jump the broom (because you know it is tradition). Minister has to stop for every crying baby in the building, THEN AND ONLY THEN, we get to the vows, and do not get me started with that, LOL.”

It does not have to be 3 hours.  Again, dear couple, if you do not want an angry mob on your hands, you need to cut it down to half, 1hour and 30 mins.  Everyone you have known since grade school does not have to be in the wedding party.  A friend of mine had me and several other friends serve at her wedding reception, and I was just as happy to be included.  No, I did not walk down the aisle before her, but I was happy enough that she thought of me to at least let me do that, otherwise, we would be there until the next day.  You do not have to let everyone sing in the wedding either.  Get one good singer, have two songs, tops, for him or her to sing, and give her a time limit, unless the spirit hits them. This is why you have two songs.  If you have 10 singers with 10 songs, and the spirit hit every single last one of them, people may have to call in sick Monday morning. 

Do not have the Holy Ghost dancers in the wedding.  Do have them in the reception. No speeches from the Groom’s Men, Maid of Honor, parents, Teachers, or any ex’s during the wedding.  This is why you have a reception.  Save speeches for that time.  The exception is the minster, and he should not be long-winded.  Say your vows, either by the book, or create your own.   This is your pledge to each other, witnessed by all who came.  Someone may be blessed that day by it.

Dear couple, husband and wife to be (or Husby and Wifey as my friend says), as funny this post may sound (or as complaining as it sounds); “It is your day, your time, and the beginning of your life together as a couple, who may have children, who may grow old together (I hope and pray you do), remember these things as I, a single person, who have watched her parents over the years, give this advice to you:”

·         Listen to each other.  You both have a voice in your marriage.  No one should be right or wrong when it comes to finances or parenting. 

·         Have a united front.  You may have these little things called children.  As children get older, they get more demanding.  You may not notice it at first.  It starts with a cry for a bottle, which is a need.  Please feed them.  Next comes the cry of getting their way.  Find out first what these little people want.  Now you have to discern if it is really a need or a want.  If baby has gone to the first parent, and that person says no, they are going to ask the other.  First question is, “what did mommy/daddy say?”  If the answer is no, do not say yes. This starts an argument with the parents. Again, have a united front.  By the way, your extended family is the same way, only on a different level.

·         Put God in your family.  Enough said.

·         Become a praying couple.  Enough said.

·         Do not stray from each other.  There are other people who are going to look attractive to you.  This cannot be help, but you cannot give in to it.  Constantly remind each other why you are married in the first place.  Keep it interesting.

·         You are going to have disagreements. After 52 years, my parents still have arguments every once in a while.  At one time, I thought I would be the product of the typical child, visiting one parent one week and another parent the next week, because of the things they would argue about.  This is why you should never let your children see you argue.  If you do, explain, but never talk bad about the other person in front of your child.  

In other words: KEEP IN CONSTANT COMMUNICATION WITH EACH OTHER.