Please Talk Among Yourselves

Hello, today, I have another topic about trolling.  You know the word.  You are watching a video and make a mean remark about how the mother is dressed.  I am not talking about the self-talk you make

Candle Nestled Among Flowers
By Pegleess Barrios from Burst.

as you are watching the video (also called talking to the screen).  We have all done that. I am talking specifically about the trifling comment you added in the comments section.  Yes, that troll comment.

There are other forms of trolling and I have mentioned them before, but making rude and hateful comments on another site is becoming more common, and frankly, I do not like it.  Here is why.

YouTube or Bust.

I have mentioned that I watch videos on YouTube and I also make them.  Two of the families that I watch on a regular basis recently had comments that popped up on my Google news feed, and frankly, I did not like what was said about them.  I know what you are going to say, “Tricia, why do you care what is said on these YouTube channels?”  Well, I do care because these two families, who by the way, are friends with each other, and are Christian families, really care about their families.  I also know what some of you are about to say, “well, they asked for it, putting their lives out there for all to see”.  Well, yes, they do, and only God knows why they are making videos, but, I also believe that it is only in God’s plan that they do continue. 

The first family, an interracial couple, with a boy and girl, started vlogging before the boy was born.  The comment I read on Lipstick Valley.com was things like: “why are they (the husband and wife) are so “Vegan” and “Micro” manage their diet while they feed their children crap food”.  By the way, crap, meaning McDonalds, pizza, Mac & Cheese, you name it.  My question to these people is why do you watch?  No, seriously, why do you watch the channel if you are going to criticize the family? I have seen the latest videos and the children are eating the same thing that the parents are eating.  Not only that, the mom did feed baby girl the same thing that she was eating for lunch.  They very seldom eat the “crappy” stuff, as this troll called it.

The second family, an African American husband and wife, with 3 boys and a girl, started vlogging when the oldest boy was a baby.  The comment I read on the same site was from 2013, and the comment was on the next oldest child’s hair, and why his hair was not cut.  This was during the time when the two oldest was born and she was pregnant with the youngest boy.  Baby girl was born last year and will be 1 next month.  Anyway, the comment was on things like, “is she hoping to have a girl so bad that she refuses to cut this child’s hair?  Again, my question is, why do you watch this channel?

I know as a vlogger myself, I am supposed to have “thick skin”, but my question is, why be so mean?  My mom gave me this insight when we were talking about my business the other day.  As business people, it is hard to talk about the business with family and friends, and here is what I believe is the answer to my question:  People are jealous.  They are jealous because:

·         You accomplished what they are trying to do. 

Many people say that they are going into business or start a vlogging channel or a blog, but cannot because of time, money, and/or the backlash from family and friends until they are afraid of starting. 

·         You are making a success out of the very thing they want to do.

These families are making a nice size chunk of change from vlogging. They are being savvy about the brand deals they are working with and who they are working with.  I will not mention some of the brands, but they are some of the ones I want to work with in the future, but it takes time to build a relationship with these brands.  Some YouTubers have been at it longer than me, but I cannot let that stop me from trying.

So, I did a little research into Lipstick Valley.com….

Caution: I am using a little slang here.  I will explain myself along the way.

Three Women Discuss over Coffee and Laptops
By Sarah Pflug from Burst

So, I pulled up Lipstick Valley.com, and this stuff is lit.  For those of you who do not know what “Lit” means, “lit” means it is hot, a trend, or popular.  If you are a black person, this is the place to be (although I have seen other topics on other races).  As a black person, I beg to differ.  I did not like what I read from these posts, and I would have to say that these people are mean, jealous, and have no life goals.  I mean, people, do you even work?  Are you so jealous of these families to the point of talking about how they dress, how they feel about their children, and so forth?  How would you like it if someone pointed out your stuff on social media?  You would not like it, huh?  You are lucky that these families do not care about your catty mouth.  They only care about what their “true” fans think.  I did not nor I will not sign up for this site.  On second thought, I should not have said that these people who frequent this site do not have life goals.  Everyone has life goals, and these life goals may not line up with mines and yours.  This might be a way for some people to unwind from the day, like a glass of wine and a good book, only they choose to gossip about people.  See, that was a form of trolling and I am sorry for having written that.

I am not that type of person who is here for the gossip.  God and my mother taught me better than that.  That does not mean I listen.  I have no choice.  I have chatty church members, social media is always chatty, and my family and friends are chatty.  The only difference is I try not to start something.  If it is something I do not want to hear (like the opinions of people I watch on YouTube) I walk away, turn it off, or mouth off, which is something I started to do to these people.  Good thing you have to sign up to give your .02 (two cents). I probably would have blasted out these catty women out of the water.

So what if I find myself in this situation?

If you find yourself in the situation of giving an opinion that is troll-like:

·         Go to the person who is the subject of the talk. 

You might want to give you an opportunity to air your difference to them. Now, it may be a little difficult if it is social media.  Sometimes, you do not know these people personally, you never met them in person, and you do not know their home life, except what they are willing to share. 

·         Do you know what is really going on in their life?

On my channel, my social media accounts, and on my blogs, there are a lot of things I personally do not share and do not want to share with the public.  Some of it has to do with the people in my family who do not want their life being put on blast, and some of it has to do with the situation I am in, and the public does not be on a “needs to know” basis.  Besides that, people are nosey, and people get jealous and want to see you fail at something.   

·         Commenting with mean, evil things does not help the situation. 

What does trolling do?  For one, it makes a person who is miserable, have no love for life, nor care about people feel better about themselves while making the person being trolled feel worse about themselves.  One of the worse trolling methods is when the troll tells the one being trolled to go kill themselves.  In that case, it becomes cyberbullying.  This is common in teens and young adults.  This must be stopped. 

What if you find yourself being trolled or cyberbullied?

·         First, you need to develop a thick skin. 

Yes, it is not easy to ignore the comments.  YouTube and other sites have a way for you to report the person doing the trolling, but you may not be in a position to do so.

·         If you cannot handle it, find someone who can. 

If you have a business, you can hire a virtual assistant to screen your accounts, especially comments.  In fact, virtual assistants are good for a lot of tasks, which is something I will tackle in a later post.  If you cannot afford to hires someone or if you do not have a business, get a friend to screen your social media account.

·         If it is cyberbullying, contact an authority, contact your local police, your company’s security, IT, or if you are a student, contact a teacher, principal, or guidance counselor, and most importantly, your parents.  These are your first responders, and they do not take lightly the threats, the trolling, and meaningful suggestions.  They know what to do, and how to contact the next person in this sort of situation to the right people.

Finally, do not take matters into your own hands.  You could end up losing your life over this.  If you have to, walk away from social media.  It is not that important that you have to document every detail of your life on social media.  In fact, this is the reason for me not sharing everything.  It is not that I do not want to because I love helping people, but sometimes, helping people can cost.  There are the judgments, the funny looks and stares, and the comments.  I always welcome comments if I am wrong on something, but when it comes to my life and my well-being, I have to decipher what is best for me and my life.  I will listen because introverts are good listeners, but then I have to choose from what I want or need versus what you are telling me.  We all make choices in life, and my comment to you today is:

“Choose to be happy, and make the right choice in your life and the life of others.  You never know who you may touch the right way or the wrong way.”

Related Articles:

Attention all Trolls (This means Me Too).

Related YouTube Channels to this Article:

GabeBabeTV

The Daily Davidsons

Check out my Channel while you are there:

Patricia L. Logan

Journaling Highs and Whoas

I have been journaling up a storm lately.  It is one of the things I do when something is bothering me (my recent problem with a client that ended up in a divorce from him), figuring out my next moves for a trip that I and the family are taking, and getting into bible journaling (more on that next week).  Sometimes I forget that part of this writing a blog is teaching you how to make the most of journaling, and how journaling can do wonders for your mind, body, and soul (prayer is another), allows you to have some clarity to some of deepest thoughts, and allows you to look back on it as a lesson learned.  So today, I am focusing more on rules and regulations of journaling, especially when things do not exactly go your way, and I have a small little trick up my sleeve that will help you boost your confidence about journaling.

Image by David Schwarzenberg from Pixabay 

First of all, a little scalding if you do not mind….

YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY!!!

There I said it, and I meant it.

We, as humans, tend to do what as known as self-deprivation.  We like to tear ourselves down and we like to take others along for the ride. 

Take, for instance, food.  Now I do not know what happens in your house, but in mine, a conversation inside my head goes a little like this (It usually starts in the car, yes, the car):

Me thinking: “I am hungry, what do I want to eat”

Next thing I know, I go through my favorite foods and cuisines: “When was the last time I had sushi?” (last week).  “Do I want it again this week?”  Maybe, but how about Poke (pronounced- “Poo-kay”- a Hawaiian dish that has made it to the mainland United States that is quite delicious (at least to me))?  “What about Mexican?” The list goes on and on, and continues for about 5 minutes.   When I have settled on something, I will as myself if I want something sweet with it? If the answer is yes, then I will get it, feel guilty about eating it, then write in my journal about how stupid it was for me to get it in the first place because I am fat, I am saving for this trip, and it is that time of the month.

Please, please, please, say that you either made a mistake for eating the desert (or eating out in the first), or say “next time I will think twice before I eat out”.  I am telling myself that as well.

Tip #1:  Affirmations

One of the things I am learning to post not only on social media but in my journal as well as positive affirmations.  This is a clip I found on YouTube.  This is Jessica, and she has a morning affirmation that I like.  This was shot in 2011, but the attitude should be the same then as it is now.  She explains in the mirror what she likes and only that.  It is all positive.  While you do not have to climb on the counter in your bathroom like this spunky, little 4-year-old (who is probably in middle school now), have that same enthusiasm in your journal, as she has in the video, which you can see here.

Now with that, you can place your problems in your journal, and you should, but do not say how stupid you are, hate is such a strong, powerful word, and mention how you will come out of it.

OK, let’s move on….

Your writing.

Tip #2: Write like you are in school

I say that because I realized how bad my writing has become and it is creeping into my blog posts.

I have certain saying that I put in my journal that I do not say when I write out blog posts, or at least it should not.  For example, in the beginning of this post, I wrote, “It is one of the things I do when something is bothering me (my recent problem with a client that ended up in a divorce from him), figuring out my next moves for a trip that me and the family are taking, and getting into bible journaling (more on that next week)”.  I almost wrote, “figuring out my next moves for a trip that I and the fam are taking”.  This part of the sentence would have been reserved for my journal, not this blog post.  The professional way of writing is to avoid all personal abbreviations because not everyone will understand them.  How many people would understand that the abbreviation “fam” is actually “family”?  Probably less than .1 percent.

So my tip for you is do not separate your journal writing from your former writing.  This includes business and school. Now, if you do not work or you are not in school, this naturally does not apply to you, but get in a good practice anyway.  This includes spelling and grammar.

This is not sponsored, but I use a program called Grammarly.  I have mentioned this site a few times, but it has really helped me.  I am on the free version, which does not go deep into the grammar part, nor does it correct that part either.  It is reserved for the premium part.  Once you pay for premium, it will check and correct everything, but while it is doing this, please learn from your mistakes so the program does not have to correct you again.  I know by next month; I have to pay for it because now I use it in place of MS Word’s spellcheck and grammar check.  Now MS Word’s spell and grammar check will still do its thing, but Grammarly will go behind it, in case the feature misses a problem.

  

Tip #3:  Have fun with your journaling

I have mentioned this before, but have a mixture of journaling posts.  You can have your hardcore journaling where you are upset with something and you need to have it solved.  You can have your project journaling posts where you are working on a project, having to list your project, materials, and cost estimates.  You can also have your maternity, baby, and child update journals, where all you list are what is happening that day and how are you feeling and so forth.  All of that is fine, but do not forget to stop and smell the roses along the way.

What do I mean?  Add humor to those posts.  Add a little fun, positive fun in your posts, so when you look back on these posts, you can laugh a little as well.

For example, I am doing a project journal.  I am redoing my craft room. I am finding do much humor in planning the craft room, my small space, and even choosing my furniture and the cost of that furniture.  I decided to go the Ikea route, (not sponsored) like so many crafters.  The reason why this furniture is often choosing is for the flexibility of this furniture and in comparison to the most costly furniture, it is cheaper.  Now if I only put in the boring stuff, how can I look back and laugh at when I was building my Alex drawer units only to find out I put the wrong screw in (you do know that the instructions do not come with words, right?), or had the wrong measurements to the space I was putting them in? humor help with the spots that no matter how much you feel like you have not done anything, you have really accomplished a lot.

Tip #4- find a quiet spot.

It does not matter what you do in that spot when you write, make that spot as free from distractions as possible.  For me, it is my bedroom.  I have a television in the room, but it no longer works.  I also write in the craftroom, late at night.  The only problem is the cat, who wants attention, but when she realizes that I am in my zone, Gizmo Elizabeth will go and lay down.  This is when I feel alone and serene.  Sometimes, I will throw on a little gospel or some of my favorite types of music and chill when I write.  This now my new way of writing my blog posts as well.  No television, no distractions.

This is how I would like to see you writing in your journal, both handwritten and digital.  This is the only way you can get put your true thoughts and be your true self.  Raw, and uninterrupted.  Put on your favorite music, I suggest no harsh rock music, but maybe a rock ballad.  Same if you listen to rap, hip hop, or even Holy Ghost feel-good praise music.  Now is the time to quiet the mind and relax.  Sip your favorite beverage (yes, ladies wine is allowed), and start writing.  My drug…uhm…. drink of choice tonight was pumpkin spice latte coffee with a couple of McDonald’s cookies I picked up on my way from my parent’s house. 

 Tips and Tricks

I always say no matter what is going on in your life, writing helps.  Screaming only escalates the problem.  It helps you to let go.  No, you do not have to read it back right away.  In fact, wait a few months after it is over with.  With breakups, that is a totally different situation and something that you should read back years later.  For abuse situations, burn the entry, or at least read it when you are ready to read it.

Add humor when possible.  Write your entries like business or school documents, such as spelling and grammar corrections, but not for the idea.

One last tip.  If you handwrite your entries, decorating is allowed, as long as you can read it.  No one likes to lift up a sticker just to read an entry.

Have fun, be safe, and do not beat yourself up if you make a mistake.  You are only human.

God bless you.

A Note Goes a Long Way

A word on encouragement: Motivation Monday

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Today, I wanted some coffee.  Not just any brand of coffee.  I have that at home.  Ground coffee from a little known brand called Folger’s, and several pods from Green Mountain and the flavor is Pumpkin Spice.  These are my comfort coffees when it is 3 am in the morning and I am pulling an all-nighter.  No, this coffee is Salted chocolate caramel with a little bit of whipped cream from Starbucks, my favorite coffee place in life.

Photo by Ivory Mix 

As I entered the place not far from my home, I noticed something that I have never seen before.  Little Post-it™ notes with encouraging words on them.  They had sayings like “You are enough”, “Memaw loves you” (I guess she had hoped her grandkids would come in to see it), and “You are Amazing, live your DREAM”.  I wrote the last one when I found out that I could do it too.  in fact, I wrote 3 others as well; “You are beautiful, you are smart, you are loved”, “Love everyone no matter who they are”, and the last one I cannot think of.

Why do I think this is the coolest thing in life….

Lately, there has been so much discouragement in the world.  From the White House to school, Home to Work, and even in the streets, people are getting meaner and meaner.  If you are a Christian and know your bible, you know the prophecy, and even if you do not, you know that something big is about to happen.  It cannot stay like this forever.  People still need to know that they are loved, that they matter, and whatever they have cooked up positive in their brain is the best thing for them right now until something better comes along.

Everyone Needs Encouragement…

Say, you had a bad day at work. You got up late, traffic was at a standstill on the freeway, or you had clients who just did not want to hear your ideas about how to make their business grow.  These are stressful in itself.  Now, imagine your day being just a little bit brighter when you see a happy video, someone paying for your meal without asking, or handing you a note saying that you are enough.  How would you feel then? It would make you happy, appreciated, and ready to tackle the next task.

When I saw my first positive note in Starbucks today, then another, and still another one, my whole face lit up like a Christmas tree.  I have been struggling with my business for a month getting clients, taking on something that is possible, but not too impossible, and dealing with a couple of news stories that just sicken my stomach to no end.  Seeing those notes made me feel better, and it was as if God told me that I needed to stop by and leave some myself to encourage others.

You do not need a Starbucks to start your own Encouragement Campaign….

I saw my first note of this kind, not in Starbucks, but on an overpass on the freeway in my city.  The pink sign said, “You are worthy”.  I smiled as I passed under it. I had heard that a woman and her children were leaving little posters for drivers to see as they pass by.  I did not overthink it.  I accepted it and went about my day, knowing that someone was thoughtful enough to think about others.

Think about the last time someone has done something positive for you.  it could be anything from a loved one giving you some positive advice to someone paying it forward.  Now, I do not advise that you go buying a round of drinks for the whole bar or contribute to something that may harm a person, that can be disastrous, and you may not forgive yourself in the morning.  One time, I gave a ride to a stranger who was applying to the same job that I was.  The last bus had left for the day, and the express buses did not go on that side of town.  It was on my way home, and I did not mind.  I also did not think about the danger of it either.  She was in good company.  I also waved my right to not accept payment from the woman because she may need the funds tomorrow, and I had my parents who could buy me gas for my car.  I also did it because I overheard the woman tell another person that she needed a ride home.

Paying it forward does not have to include funds.

My example did not require me to reach into my pocket and buy a person their next meal.  A few months ago, someone paid for my parent’s dinner without asking.  The key is

• You do it in good faith.  Do not have the idea that you have to do it.  Some example is, if someone did a RAK (Random Act of Kindness) to you and you feel the need to do it to someone else, you got a raise, and for Christians because Jesus commands us to do it automatically without prompts.  You never know how a person may be feeling when the act is done to them.
• The person receiving it does not know that the RAK is happening.  It is unexpected because humans are naturally mean, right?

Three weeks ago, and a friend of mine asked for prayer with a problem that she is dealing with at her job.  Of course, the natural course of someone for me is to pray for her and the situation.  Last week, I was in Hobby Lobby (one of my many favorite stores (I was born with money in my mouth-I am getting better), and I saw this plaque that you sit on your desk.  It had the perfect saying for her to keep pushing and not give up.  I bought it.  I was prompted because my friend was not her usual cheerful self (situations can put you in one nasty mood, I am going through one right now), and I felt like it because I needed a pick me up as well.  That is the third component to the whole encouraging act or RAK, you feel good at the task.  You are not thinking about yourself and your situation. You are thinking about the end goal of cheering someone up.  You are putting your situation to the side to think of others. 

I want to let you know one other thing:

1. RAKs are a good thing and encouraging others is a good thing as well.
2. They do not cost any amount of money.  In fact, they should be free, but no one is punishing you if you pay for a meal or two for someone else.
3. Companies are starting to see this as a good thing as well.  i.e. Starbucks
4. You never will know the outcome. Someone may do it to you.
5. Do not expect a thing.

Erin Condren Fall Seasonal Box Unboxing and EasyPress 2

Are you a Childless Millennial Who Goes to Disney?

This is based on a Quora answer I gave to someone who wanted to know what I thought about this woman who had a rant, but first ...

Ok, I have a rant.  It is no ordinary rant.  This is a Disney rant of sorts.  No, I am not complaining about the millions of people who visit the parks each year, and it does not matter if you are in Japan, France, China, or the United States when you visit the parks.  No, it is not the prices, well at least this time.  There are ways to save money when visiting Disney, especially Walt Disney World, which I plan on sharing with you in the next few months.  It is not even how I am getting there, and where I am staying.  Since I mostly focus on the Orlando park, Walt Disney World, I know there are plenty of places to stay, including Disney owned resorts on property, non-Disney own resorts both on and off property, houses around the Walt Disney World area in case you want to visit SeaWorld, Bush Gardens, or Universal Studios Orlando.  I will get to all of that in the next few weeks.

No, my rant is about the rant that was heard around the world.  Someone asked me on Quora about a mom, who was fed up with childless Millennial couples who visit Walt Disney World each year, or when she visits them.  She wants to ban them.
The setup….
This woman, who I am going to call, Jane, was visiting Walt Disney World with her son, who was 3 years old.  This happened about a couple of years ago.  She was in line to get her son a pretzel. The line was quite long, as most Walt Disney World lines are when you have a crowd of people.  She’s tired, and so is her son.  She gets mad at a millennial who has a pretzel, and instead of ignoring the fact the young lady got a pretzel, Jane gets out of line, with her now screaming 3 years old, and along the way, probably to another ride, preferably to her resort room, gets on social media, and writes to the tune of, “this childless _____ got the last pretzel, and now my child is upset because he did not get his pretzel.  These childless millennials need to be banned from Walt Disney World.”
This is not her exact wording, but the meaning is just the same. How does she know if this person did not have a child?  She could have gotten the pretzel for her own child, who was waiting.  More on that when I gave my answer on Quora.
My answer…
I first read this on Twitter, after a woman reposted it on her Twitter account.  I wanted to know why, since she was reading it for the first time since it was originally posted, why the person had to re-tweet it? Sometimes, the best way to keep the peace is to never repeat it, by mouth, or by social media.  Social media is the worst because it starts an online war, and this re-post started a “Rant Heard Around the World” (The World? Disney World?  Get it?) So this is how I came up with the title of this post by the same name.
This re-post of a post went viral in a big way.  Please note:  I am not trying to start it again, nor do I want to.  I made my peace when I put in my $.02 into it and frankly I am very appalled by the statement.  I will have more about that in a moment on how it affects me, a non-millennial, but here is my response after the question resurfaced on Quora:
“Ok, here we go again. Round 4000. I am going to break it down to you like this:
I have a saying…You do You. simple. if you have no problems going to Disney as a Millennial, as a Gen x (which I am), Baby Boomer, War baby (that’s my parents), or one foot in the graver (those over 100 years old), and you have no children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, occasional annoying neighbor’s child (to which their parents should be taking them, but eh), then you have as much right to be at Disney World, Disneyland, Tokyo Disney, Disneyland Paris, Hong Kong Disney (I do not suggest going there at the moment-They’re having major issues), and Shanghai Disney as a person with children. Simple as that. (you can take a breath now)
But seriously…. No one has the right nor the privilege to tell you where you can spend your hard-earned vacation dollars at. If you like Disney (to which I am a huge fan), then go for it. I read it and I saw the video, and the woman is nuts. She is just a tired person who is used to getting her way as a child. she brings in her 3-year old, who is also tired, and hungry. Disney has enough food to feed the entire island of The Bahamas, and she chooses to be a PITA that day. I would have said to her, that if she would wait, they will bring more out. no use cursing out the person in front of you if the pretzel stand ran out of pretzels. They can and will make more. To call anyone a childless millennial who does not belong at Disney is not her call anyway, it is Disney’s call.
So that is my long way to address the childless problem because she was being childish, and having more of a tantrum than her 3-year old, who probably calmed down after 2 minutes.”
Breaking down my answer…. “You do You”.
I am getting so tired of people poking their noses where they do not belong, especially when it comes to public property.  Last I checked, Disney World is public property, not private.  When you have private property, you have the right to invite anyone you care to invite.
You do You….
If you are in your right mind, and not a child, you can pretty much run the gambit on what you can do in the world and in this country.  That does not mean that it is right.  In this country, we do not have a Shreya Law (women must cover their heads or their whole body), we have the right to bear arms, and we have the right to speak our mind.  We have opinions in this country, that are just that, opinions.  This is where “You do You” comes in.  You have the right to do whatever is within the law of this country, moral law, and some good old-fashioned common sense.
Childless Millennials….
This is where Jane got into trouble.  She chose to stand in line with her child.  This was her choice.  I am thinking that this was around 3 pm in the afternoon.  She was in the parks (it did not say which one, Disney World has 4 to choose from) and it was hot.  Her child was hungry.  Most children do get hungry at that time of day, and this is when they also need a nap.   Jane saw a young woman, who did not have a child with her.  This does not suggest that she did not have any children.  They could have been on a ride, getting something to eat, or in another park with another adult.  This mother went by what she saw, and that she was tired, her child was tired and hungry, and she was angry because this young woman got a pretzel, which is what her child wanted. After calling the young woman every name in the cursed book she can think of at the time on social media, Jane saw some teens, and assume they were childless too.  That is when she decided, not Disney, that any childless couple should be banned from a Disney park.
When did you get to decide? ….
With the comment that Jane made on social media, I had to wonder how did she come to that conclusion?  Clearly, the woman did not say anything to her, and neither did the group of teens.  At any rate, everyone was minding their own business, except Jane.  Oh, I forgot to mention that her child cried as soon as they moved out of line, and the comment she made was “thanks for making my child upset” (enter the childless couple remark).  Jane did not have to leave at that moment.  I do not know if the pretzel stand ran out of pretzels, and if she made the whole thing up to get out of line.
Disney has plenty of food, and plenty of pretzel stands, so Jane’s child would have gotten his pretzel.  So I do not see what the big deal of her getting her child a pretzel at that specific stand.  Yes, I have seen Disney run out of food before on several YouTube videos, but most people do not make a big deal out of the situation because they have experience with Disney and crowds.  Disney knows how to prepare for such a case.  They may not have pretzels when you want them and at that particular stand, but these CM’s (Cast Members AKA employees) are training for such a time as this-crowds.
Who’s crankier, mommy or baby?
 Ok, I will admit, I have had my moments where I spoke before I think.  I would like to think that she was having an off day.  When you find yourself having an off day on vacation, do something that takes you away from the situation (pretzel carts and crowds).  Do something pleasant, and I assume that Jane’s family had a resort room.  If you do not live around Orlando (or whatever city you are visiting a Disney park), please take a break.  Even if you live there, go home, and take a break.  Remove yourself from the situation, even if you have to leave with a crying child who only wants to eat something.
Once there, rest, take a nap or do an activity around the resort.  There is plenty to do at Disney that does not involve a park, even at the international parks.  Once rested, you can resume being in the parks, and enjoying yourself.
Also, one thing to note:  Children can take clues from their parents.  If you are upset, so is your child.  Children at a young age do not know emotion like the rest of us.  All they know is they are upset when they see their parent upset.  So most likely, the young woman (who I will name Kathy) did not upset the child.  Jane was putting the blame where is it did not belong.
Childless part 2
This is the part of the tweet that upsets me the most.  Not everyone knows my story, but as hard as I wanted children, I physically cannot have any.  That privilege was taken from me at the age of 29 through a medical condition.  I have tried to adopt in the past, and I still can, but it is harder to raise a child without a second parent. This is why her rant makes me so angry with Jane for making the comment.  I enjoy Disney though the eyes of my nieces and nephews, and my young cousins.  To tell me that I cannot go into Disney without a child of my own is the most selfish thing that a person can ever say to me and millions of people like me.
Plus not only that, how is Disney going to enforce this ban? Going back to saying that Disney parks are public property and as long as you follow the rules, you can visit the parks anytime they are open.  There are a few exceptions, like punching CMs in the face, carrying a concealed weapon, starting a riot (like carrying political signs or fighting with family members inside the parks), and so on.  There is a list, but I do not remember being without a child is one of them.
If you do not know the whole story of a person’s life does not criticize a group of people who may not have any control over what happens in their life.  I am blessed to be surrounded by so many nieces and nephews, and friend’s children, who I call my nieces and nephews, it makes it easier for me that if God does not put a child in my path for me to be a foster or adoption parent, I have lived my life surrounded by children.  I am a single person who wants to get married to a wonderful man, with or without children, and I am old enough to have step-grandchildren who I can take to Disney.  Plus, Disney is not that important to me as my
family is to me. I am not going to let some stressed-out mother tell me what I can or cannot do with my hard-earned money.  I am sure these Millennials will not let her either.
So the moral of this story is please remove yourself when you feel stressed to the point that you have to air your frustration on social media.  Remain calm, allow others to enjoy their day (including reading social media posts), and enjoy your vacation, and you will not be the subject of someone’s re-tweet.

Diversity, Disney Style

Once again, this topic came from this question on Quora:
If Disney is making Ariel black, why aren't they making Prince Eric black as well?
My Answer:

“Disney believes in diversity. In 1997, Disney showed a production on the Wonderful World of Disney, with Brandy as Cinderella, and Whitney Houston as the Fairy Godmother. The Prince was mixed, Whoopie Goldberg played the Queen Mother and I forgot who played the King. Cinderella had a White stepmother, who was played by Bernadette Peters, and she had a black step sister and a white stepsister.
It is their belief that everyone should see themselves as that character, any character when they watch their movies”.

Oh, my goodness, where do I begin with this post?

Photo by P.Lynne Designs

Let’s start with a PSA, shall we?  As much as pains me to say this, there is more than one race in the world.  OK, let me take that a step further and not throw color into this discussion:  There is only one race, the human race.  We are all a mixture of different skin tones and hues. No one should say that their skin tone is better than another, but we do.
With that, let’s address the elephant in the room, Ariel is black, prince Eric is not.  I remember in a scene of the animated Little Mermaid, where there were different shades and sizes of mer-people swimming throughout the ocean, and they were not all white.  Some were brown, tan, and white.  Some were male and some were female.  Some were tall and skinny, while others were fat and chubby.  In other words, like our own world.
People like to see characters who look like them.  At first, the only thing that I could relate to from Disney was an old man in Song of the South, which sort of, okay, was a little on the racist side, but back in the 60s, they were racist.  I am going to call it out there.  Disney’s next attempt was a bunch of lions in The Lion King.  Sorry, but the only black voiced actors was James Earl Jones (who much to my happiness reprised his role in this year’s version) as Mufasa and Marge Sinclair (who passed away due to cancer) as Sarabi.  The rest were white actors, including Jeremy Irons as Scar and Mathew Broderick as Simba.  The last animated movie, that is in The Little Mermaid’s wheelhouse, was The Princess and the Frog where Tiana was black and Prince Lavigne was Mexican? Asian? Okay, some sort of dark tan color.  So, I can kind of see the criticism.  I also count Moana, who actually is Polynesian, but she is a woman of color. Ariel is a white Mermaid, this is what the imaginers saw when they first drew her, and that is who supplied her speaking and singing voice.
People are also creatures of habit.  We do not like change.  It is the same criticism that was given to the all-black cast in this year's Live-action (actually CGI-action) The Lion King with Beyoncé and Donald Glover, and Aladdin with Will Smith as the Genie.  I am sorry that most people hated Will Smith for his portrayal of the Genie, but as one of his rules, The Genie cannot bring people back from the dead, and I guess people wanted Disney to bring Robin Williams back from the dead.
I like diversification.  It shows that the world is not as segregated as they want it to be.  You can possibly live in a world where you only deal with people of your own kind, but let’s face it, it is getting more impossible to do it.  Eventually, you need to come out of your house, get a job, go to the store, go to church, whatever, and mingle.  You can not ban people from doing what they want (see my rant about the woman who wanted to ban childless millennials from Disney Parks and most of the civil rights movement of the 1960s).
Look at it this way:  If you do not want to see this movie, any movie, you do not have to go.  Disney may suffer from it a little bit, and they may have a little drop in attendance because you did not buy a ticket, but you do not have to go, period. Your non-attendance will not shut down this company, who has dealt with far worse things (such as the loss of their fearless leader, Walt Disney in 1966).  After all, it is entertainment and the character is not based on a real person.  At least I do not think there are Mermaids in the ocean.  No one has discovered them yet.  This movie is not required for college credit, a credit for a religious course, and when you die, God is not going to judge you for not going to this movie.  He will judge you if you make some kind of racial slur towards the actress who will be playing her on social media or any other media.
I am going to see this movie and I am going to take my niece.  Why?  Because it will satisfy the little girl in me.  I always wanted more characters that look like me in the movies and on television when I was a child.  I am about to date myself, but in school, I took a school day picture where my mom gave me Cindy Brady’s famous curls, two ponytails with ringlet curls.  I also wanted to be Tracy Partridge, and I clapped very loudly when I saw Penny from Good Times and Tootie (Character’s first name is actually Dorothy) from Facts of Life, both who are black.
Look, Disney wants their customers happy.  They know where the money is coming from, and they know that white people are not the only ones who visit their parks and buy their merchandise.  Most companies know this.  We as the black business community have a hard time getting black people to buy from us. This is our biggest problem.  I will go into that at another time, I am getting off the subject.
People should be happy that Disney wants to diversify in their movies.  I know a lot of people do not like interracial couples, but I also believe this is Disney’s other reason to not make Prince Eric Black as well.  I remember reading several times in my life how people in the late 60s were upset because Captain Kirk kissed Lt. Uhura on the lips, and that the episode was banned until several years later when it was more acceptable.  The Jeffersons television show had an interracial couple named Tom and Helen Willis, who were Lionel Jefferson’s girlfriend (later wife’s) parents.  This happened in the 1970s.  There have been many times where interracial couples were a thing back then, but they still frown on today for some reason.
However, you take this post is up to you.  I want you to look at it with new eyes if you are on the fence about this whole Little Mermaid live movie casting situation, and it is not really a situation if you do not let it be.  It is a movie made in a different way by the same company that made the original and has a black mouse.  Think about it.  Mickey is a black mouse and people are okay with him.

Fiverr

THIS POST IS NOT SPONSORED

If you are getting started with your business it is easy to say that you want to do it all by yourself.  I say do not resist outside help and I will explain that in a moment.  For right now, I want to talk to you about a little service called Fiverr.

Photo by Sarah Pflug © 2019

First off, this is not a sponsored post because I have a love/hate relationship with the service.  Yes, I have posted some ads on it, I have not gained any revenue from it, but I keep it in the back of my mind. Confusing, right? Again, it will be all explained along the way.

What is Fiverr?

Fiverr is a task service.  It is a place for artists like me to list jobs they will do for $5, hence the name, Fiverr.  In addition to listing $5 gigs that we will do, we can also list bigger jobs for a lot higher.  For example, I am listed on the site as a freelance writer and a freelance graphic designer.  My products are not small in price.  I usually start at $10, not $5, with my highest package deal being $100.  So far I have not received anyone wanting my services since 2016.  At that time, I listed that I will do resumes, and I did one resume for a person, who paid $4.  Resume writing itself is worth more than $4, but that is why Fiverr is so cheap.

I have seen listings where a person will, “sing happy birthday in the resistor's favorite character for $5.  Voice impersonators make more than $5. 

Even though I am still on Fiverr, I have problems with it, and here are my top reasons for anyone to not make it your main source of income.

1. Cheap. 

They are cheap as I said.  They are cheap and the sequesters are cheap.  Cheap can be good or bad.  Good in if you are starting out in business, sometimes, you do not have a lot of money to spend.  If you are in the United States, depending on your state, you will be shelling out some money for registering your business, getting a business license, opening a business checking and Savings accounts, and hiring people to run your business.  You do not have a lot of money to create stunning advertisements, and purchasing software from companies such as Adobe and Microsoft, which can get a bit pricey.  You also do not have the time.  When you look at a listing on a site like Fiverr, paying $5 is like buying a candy bar.  It is a drop in your budget, which you can afford.  You go for the basic package, a little more if you can spare the change.

Likewise, If you are that person who puts up a listing, $5 is all you will get paid most of the time.  Yes, $5 does add up, but tell that to your utility companies.  If you do not go pro with your listings (a whole different animal than regular Fiverr), you may be eating Ramen noodles for the next month.

I am lucky that Fiverr is not the only place where I list my work. Plus, how do you think they make money on the website?  Yes, from what you earn.

2. Everyone is on Fiverr

When I mean everyone, I am talking Foreigners as well. You are not just seeing someone from the United States, Canada, or Mexico, I am talking someone from India, Saudi Arabia, England, France and Nigeria to name a few.  Fiverr does not discriminate, which is a good thing if you are from that country, but I wish that they would separate the countries. I do not like competing for your hard-earned dollars if you are the other countries I mentioned, I have to do that with my own country, which is in the US. 

Not only that, sometimes they tell you that they are from the United States, and they are really from Russia.

With that in mind, you do have to watch who your clients are.  This did not happen to me on Fiverr, but another popular website for gigs called Freelancer, which I will talk about in more detail at another time.  One of freelancer for potential customers is for them not to contact freelancers outside the site. The person who asked me to open several accounts for him did.  I ended the relationship because he wanted me to send the money to Nigeria.  I did, so I would get the stolen money out of my account.  This can also happen on Fiverr.

My recommendations for this stream of income:

Go with caution.  You never know.  This could work if you are not looking for a huge amount of payback from it (income).  It is also helpful if you are not familiar with having clients.  In other words, if you are new to freelancing.

However, as I said before, buyer beware, seller beware.  There are a lot of people out there who may not be what your ideal client should be. 

Most business people who come to Fiverr are getting started for the first time.  They do not have a ton of money, and if you can get them a simple graphic design, such as basic business card, print off no more than 50 cards is worth the $5.  If they want more, this is where you would give them your website if you have one.  Once there, the client can see more of your products, and they may not have to purchase on Fiverr.  If they still want the $5 product, at least they know what is out there on your site.  Now you have a repeat customer.

Once you are established in your niche, cut ties with Fiverr, but not before setting up your website, and not before you have gained some traffic and customers.

This is the same thing that I would recommend for Etsy, but I will get to that website as well.

Tips and Tricks (the new name for Takeaway):

In the meantime, proceed to Fiverr with caution. I cannot say it fast enough that if you want to go for it, OK, but it would be a little simpler if you open a website in either Blogger or WordPress, set your prices, and promoting your service or craft.  You will at least have all your money (until the IRS comes a-knocking), and you can screen your clients (there is a right way and a wrong way).  I would even go with Wix.

Be safe, work your business every day, even if you are checking emails, and God Bless You.