Would you rather have one more hour with someone you like, or one fewer hour with someone you can't stand?

photo courtesy of Google Imagins

This is another Blogher post prompt that I am writing.  I find it rather unusual, and kind of annoying.  The reason being, is I do not like to discriminate against anyone.  I hope you find it very strange for me to say that.  But if I have to choose between either one, I would have to choose one more hour with someone I like.

The reason why I choose to spend one more hour with the person I like, is I have gotten along with this person from the very beginning.  We have something in common, a good start two what may be a bad ending, such as an accident, or that person moving away.  I will want to know what that person’s future would be like, or how they have enjoyed life.  I would then say how much I enjoyed their company, their friendship, and their life.  It would be hard for me if I had to witness the end of a beautiful life, or beautiful friendship.  What if it was not the end, but a beginning of something new?  Would I be selfish?  I mean, what if I am preventing something that can benefit either one of us?  Just because I’d do not want something to end, that does not mean that I am selfish.  What see if it is a new job?  It could provide a way for that person to maybe visit after they get settled.  Maybe that job is just temporary, and they will be back in a few months, or a couple years.  Finally, they could come back to teach others what they have learned.  The possibilities are endless.

Let’s look at it in a different light.  What if they were sick?  What if they could not get well?  How would to spend that time with them?  Would you to spend that time crying?  Would you spend that time holding that person?  These are questions that we have to ask ourselves when the time comes.  It is hard to talk about something that has not happen yet.  I do know this.  If I had to spend one more hour with someone who I liked, only to find out that they had something like terminal cancer, or some other terminal disease, I would spend that time thanking them for the time that they were in my life.  I would not cry, because I do not want that person to see how sad I am.  I hope that the person who I am talking to, has all of their affairs in order, and that everything will be all right.

So my question to you is, who do you want to spend your 1 hour with?  I hope it is with someone who you love, rather than someone you despise.  I hope it is with someone who you respect, love to listen to, and who can give you good wisdom for your future.  I want to give you one final thought about who I would have love to meet.  That person is a person who died last week, and that person is Nelson Mandela.  It would have been an honor to have just sit and listen to what he had to say about his country, his thoughts on the United States, and people in general.  Madiba, as he was called by many, was memorialized two days ago, with the private ceremony for his family on Saturday, will always be remembered as a gentle giant who changed a nation, and hopefully a world.  At least I would like to think so.

So comment on your thoughts below in the comments section below.   What do you think of this topic?  Feel free to use this as a jumping off point in your writing prompt for today.  If you have any topic you want to see covered in this blog, let me know that too.  Have a blessed evening, my friend.

C.S. Lewis said, "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less." How good are you of placing others before yourself?

I am not sure how I would answer this question, and to be honest, I am not sure what that means.  When I first saw the subjects for this month’s NABLOPOMO, I thought that I do this all the time, but that is not what it means, so let me show you what it means to me.

At this time, we live in a world, where beauty is judge from the outside in.  Children (and adults) are shown what it is like when certain standards take president over the norm.  In a tall, skinny, male, Caucasian world, it is hard to tell anyone else that they are beautiful as well.  This is what the thinking less of yourself comes into play.  In order to compete, you need the right people.  That is what society says.  So yes, it was very easy for me, a short (5”), slightly overweight, slightly disabled, African American woman, with slightly above average grades to think less of myself.   I wanted to do it all; act, sing, play an instrument, model, dance, and have Wall Street in the palm of my little hand.  As a teen, I had low self-esteem, because I could do all of these things, despite what doctors told my parents, but I did not feel it.   It was because at the time, all I saw in the 70s and 80s were the white, tall, skinny models, who I did not know had to starve themselves in order to stay so thin.  I did not become overweight (the word is obese today), until my early teens, then dancing took the weight off.  (Do you know how many calories a shuffle-ball-change-tap-step burn?  It was enough to make me skinny again.)

Then when I wanted to be a dancer, and according to industry standards, you had to be between the height of 5’ 7” to 6” (I wanted to be a Rockette for starters, because I lived near New York City), or at least 5’7” in pointe shoes if you wanted to partner with someone.  Sorry but in both industries, I could not have the long arms, if people wanted to show off long-sleeve blouses and tops, or to show how graceful I was when doing a pirouette.  I fared a little better in the music department, but practicing was not my forte.  Education was also the highlight of the Logan Household.

Courtesy of  Google Images 

OK, I got off the subject, let me reel it back in.   I am very humbled to God to allow me to have these talents and more, but there are others who take their talents for granted, and do not feel the same way I feel about mine.   So I guess the real question is “what do you do for others with your talent?”  Are you doing it to boost yourself up, and to tell the world, “look what I am doing to make the world a better place,” or are you just quietly helping others?  If that is the case, I am quietly helping others.

For instance, I have to laugh at the holiday season.  Here is the reason why I laugh.   For 11 months out of the year, people think of self.  They self-promote and everything is me, myself, and I.  “I make X dollars,” “I live in this house,” and “I drive this car.” Well, it is great that you self-promote, 10 points if you are a celebrity.  I am not say that everyone does it or that it is wrong, but sometimes, there are some people who can overdo it just a little bit too much, Kanye?   I did a little self-promotion at the beginning of this post.  Did you notice it?  I thought so. 

Anyway, on that 12^th month, everyone all of a sudden remembers that there are others in the world who do not have as much as they do, and out comes the checkbook. You start hearing phrases such as “I need to help someone out, what about the starving children of Ethiopia, I want to help them.” Well, what about them?  They were there the other 11 months out of the year, why have you not notice them until now?  Writing a check is good, actually helping is great.  Put yourself out in the trenches. I do not mean that you have to go to a foreign country to do it.  Help someone in your own back yard.  Volunteer by helping someone.  Show someone how to do your job.  Talk to that person and give them resources, do not just talk.  You can learn a lot. Ask them what they what they hope to gain from learning something new.  You never know.  A person may be just temporary displaced, and they need to know how to find shelter or to get started with something in order to find a decent place to sleep.   OK, I am going to say it, “GIVE BACK!”  Do not make it just one month out of the year to say that you did something good, but do it for all 12 months.  Show someone how to organize who doesn’t know how.   Work in a food pantry and see how the other half lives.  If a person forgot their lunch at work and they do not have any money, offer to pay it for them.  Better yet, do it anonymously (R.A.K-Random acts of kindness or Pay It Forward).  Pay for the person’s dinner behind you.  It is the little things you do that count.

So the original question is “How good am I at putting others before myself?”  It is a work in progress, I am getting better at it.   God is not finished with me yet in that department.

Be blessed and show others you are blessed, my friend, by doing things for others, and give back all 12 months of the year.  This is something that may not cost a thing but your time.

Set a timer for 10 minutes and try to write your whole daily post. Now go back and give yourself 5 more minutes to write about how you felt working under such a tight deadline.

10-minutes

Ok, I have 10 mins to write this.   (Well less if you consider the time it takes to walk from the microwave timer to the computer table and get settled, LOL)

OK, enough of that….today is sort of a fun post.  Let’s see….Monday, I did nothing, because as it goes, my sister wanted me to pick up her kid, bring her to a relative’s house.   After delivering said niece to the house and my sister was hugging me in all creation, I went back home to eat, and play on Facebook most of the night.  Not very productive.

Tuesday, I worked at Longaberger Homestead.  Something that if you want extra sales, you get commission on all the unattached customers who buy something.   Who are unattached customers?   They are people who do not have a consultant.   You do not get their names unless they sign up on your mailing list.   The store does not provide that for privacy reasons.  I will find out in a few days how many customers actually shopped and were not attached to a consultant.

Wednesday, my father decides to clean my garage floor, which looks nice, but with the man being 74 years old, I worry that he is still doing too much.  He should ne relaxing, but I guess when you are that age, you feel like you are no longer needed, so I let him.  I went grocery shopping after he and my mom left.  Came back home to put away groceries and went to bible study.   (Time has ended)

Aftermath….

I like taking my time to write.  It relaxes me, and I can get my thoughts together rather I plan it or not.  My English is not good so if you do not mind, I am going to copy the above and give you the correct version…..

Corrected version of the above

Ok, I have 10 mins to write this.   (Well less if you consider the time it takes to walk from the microwave’s timer to the computer table and get settled, LOL)

OK, enough of that….today is sort of a fun post.  Let’s see, my week so far….Monday, I didn’t do anything, because, my sister called and wanted me to pick up her kid, and bring her to a relative’s house.   After dealing with the sounds of a 5-year old and delivering said niece to the house, my sister was hugging me in all creation, I went back home to eat, and play on Facebook most of the night.  Not very productive, because I was supposed to start the next set of NABLOPO for this month, and I could not concentrate.

Tuesday, I went to work at Longaberger Homestead.  Since I am an Independent Longaberger Home Consultant, this is one thing you can do if you want extra sales. You will get commission pay on all the unattached customers who buy products in the store.   Who are unattached customers?   They are people who do not have a consultant they regular by current products from.   The products they can by at the store are retired products that are no longer available in the catalogue.  You cannot get their names unless they sign up on your mailing list and you ask them if they mind receiving monthly flyers from you.   The store does not provide that for privacy reasons.  I will find out in a few days how much I made in commission pay.

Wednesday, my father decides to clean my garage floor, which looks nice, but the man is 74 years old, and I do worry that he is still doing too much.  He should be relaxing, but I guess when you are that age, you may feel like you are no longer needed, so I let him.  I went grocery shopping after he and my mom left.  I came home to put away groceries and went to bible study.   (Time has ended)

I did that to show you what it takes for me to create a blog post.  If you are interested, I want you take time out to see if you are cut out to be a blogger.   As I have said in previous posts, it does not take much to blog, if you blog in general (such as telling people about your day).   If you are an expert at something, it may take a little longer to type out a blog post, because if you are not sure of a certain area of expertise, you will need to research that area.   In fact I recommend you research it anyway.  The first two rules of blogging in my opinion is 1) stay up on your current information on the subject and 2) keep them interested.   You want to keep them coming back for more.  

This was my week so far.  I am not looking forward to tomorrow, because this winter storm is supposed to hit.   I need to run, Scandal is about ready to come on, and I want to see how Olivia reacts to seeing her mom in few years.

Be Blessed, my Friend.

Tell us how you feel about endings

Google Images

Hello, I took a little break for Thanksgiving. I went to my relatives in Indiana, and I had a ball. Well, today was the last day of the series and I am not sure what I am going to do next. I have not looked at Blogher to see if there is a December one yet. If I do it, it will not be everyday, I will have my own prompts on some days.
My feelings about endings. I do not adapt much to change. I do not think most people do. We,as humans, always deal with an ending of something, and it is a change. It may be a change in your routine, a change in in the family, your situation, anything that is something different. What's worse is I do not like doing the same thing over and over again, unless I start it.
When I first started blogging in 2009, I was not sure if I liked the idea of tying myself to something that the world will be looking at. There is judgement when someone reads something you wrote, be it personal or something informative.  It has to be something that will get a person to come back again and again. Sure, I had a journal which I wrote in the MS Word, but it was just me and the computer at the time, and I was not sure how anyone would perceive me. and as this blogging atmosphere grew, I started liking it, and in some ways I never want it to end. I guess that is what I hate about endings.
I have revealed that I love the blog like a half of a zillion times over the course of the series, but I have other things to do. I just figured out that my phone can be the perfect place to just talk into the microphone and just talk. So that is a change for me. So it is the ending of an old way of being tied to my desktop as I blog, and attach myself to the phone. Just what I need something else to attach myself to,LOL.  In this case, an ending can be a new beginning. I am also learning how to Vlog which is video blogging and will be starting that in 2014. I just need to find a way to mount my camera on things such as my car's dashboard in my head over my desk. So stay tuned. I also need a new stand alone, flash video, and a tripod. At this time I'm not sure if my dads tripod will work. Oh, I need so many things for that. Okay I am rambling.
So my conclusion, I need a lot of things in order to make this work to increase my blogging. In things are not my enemy, but a new beginning. I hate change, but welcome it as a new beginning. I think I will sign up for December thingy Ford block her. I love it so much, & I think I will register too. To block this time. Please comment below.

What R U Thankful 4?

Photo by http://www.squawkfox.com

You are not see a typo in the title.  I intentionally typed it that way.  The reason? None, except I am tired of see all the typos in Facebook posts, tweets, you name it.   People, especially people of color should happy and proud that there is an education system that is free to all, at least in America.   I understand the occasional missteps of the "I" before "e" problem, because I do it too.  No one is a perfect speller (is that right?) (Oops, forgot to capitalize that sentence.)  I am talking about spelling "da" for "the.”  Really?  Your mama taught you better than dat (oops, I meant "that").  
For those of you who think that talking and spelling this way is "so white,” ask yourself this question: why does it seem like I am not getting ahead?   Then again, maybe you are as far as school is concern, what about getting a job and communicating with customers?  The rest of the world does not talk or write that way.

I just found out some disturbing news (and I am not trying to be funny at this moment because I am quite upset about it):  According to a recent reading practice report (as of today), 58% of third graders in my city's largest school district (Columbus City) will not pass to the fourth grade.  This is based on practice test scores.  They take the real thing in March, and I am afraid that if half of these kids do not step up and master passing this test, they will not graduate with their class years from now.  This is a test that the State of Ohio decided they needed in order to see how well they are being taught how to read in the first place.   Now here is the real kicker.   I have a friend who happens to teach third graders.   The district wants her to teach them how to read, but according to my friend, they want her to focus more on helping them to pass the third grade reading test and less about the curriculum they gave her in the first place to teach them how to get to that reading level.   So now she has to devote extra hours to tutor them after school until 6 pm for the stuff she should have taught them during regular school hours.  Then she has to go home and do lesson prep instead of attending to her own family.  Luckily and thankfully, she currently has a husband and a 2 year old child, but what if she was along with her 2 year old and did not have any help?  Where are the parents in all of this?    They should spend as much time if not more teaching their children how to read.   Why are they spending so much time on social media or any other device instead of trying to sound out words?   I have thousands of questions, and no answers.

Parents, please do not depend on your child’s teachers to teach them everything.  I know you are busy providing for your child, such as clothing, food, and entertainment.  This leads to the question:  Why does your child have to be entertained all the time?   Think about that.  Education should be one of them, and it does not have to be private.  Your teacher is also busy.  He/she has to provide lessons that will motivate and help your child to learn.   In other words, take time out to teach your child basic K-8^th grade stuff.

I was a Pre-K teacher at one time.  This meant providing a lesson plan that will stimulate the child into learning something as simple as spelling their name, tying their shoes, counting and early math (1+1=2), learning the days of the week, and so forth.   Oh how I sometimes I wished that the parents who I interacted with would have taken an interest in what their child was learning, instead of saying “hi” and “bye” to the child.   I know there are demands at work, but I was mostly talking to moms who stayed at home.  Did they really had to get rid of their child that fast?  Oh how I wished that I could have a conference with them about their child.

So, getting back to the beginning of this post with the Facebook comments.  Please use spell check, ask a friend, an elder, dictionary, or just get a clue.  Go back to school or if you are in school please ask your teacher how to spell “the”, “that,” and a whole host of often phonetically spelled words, which should be memorized by the 8^th grade.   Learn how to read, learn how to spell, and learn how to write.  A note to any parent in the Columbus, Ohio area:  please help your 3^rd grade child to reach the potential so that they can pass this reading test.  It is mandatory, and it can be the ticket to your child reaching they dreams.

So, what do you think?  Where has our education system gone?

My week and the art of being Grateful

Hello-

I have been so busy the last couple of days, including some things that threw me for a loop.  Yes, I am still on BlogHer’s posting challenge, but for some reason, I did not do the one that asks you about a favorite outfit, and I will post something about selecting a book to read.   Maybe.  It will be alright, I do hope that Blogher will account for busy lives.  

photo by google

To make up for Thursday’s missed blog post, I would love to give you a synapsis of my week, which was the worst week to date in 2013.

Sunday was typical Sunday for me.  A friend of mine decided to provide lunch at church and today he will be providing dinner.  After lunch, I decided to go home instead of going to my parent’s. (After all, I had seen them at church.)  I decided to go and get sushi to go and added on Sweet and Sour Pork to the mix.

Monday was my Oops day and I will tell you why?   I had forgot that I had scheduled shopping time with one of my women’s groups.   I asked mom if she would like to go Sunday evening, but she later called that day and said Chacha, the cleaning lady was supposed to help her with the silver, so I said I will not go.   My sister called a short time later and needed a ride to work.   At the time that she called, I had told her that me and mom was going out, but seeing that the store was near her workplace, I asked her if she mind going with me, and she didn’t as long as we get to her job by 8 pm.   Done deal.  

At the store, I found a pair of PJ bottoms to wear when I go out of town, but I had good tops.  Besides that, I did not like the tops they had.  I also found a pair of footy socks and bought my sister a pair, since it was two for one.   I also purchased a jacket for the spring going into early summer to wear next year.   Total amount:  $87.50 after all the discounts were taken off.  Score!

We were running late, and we quickly dashed to the car, and when we were about ready to turn, a Ford truck ran into me.   Oh great!   On top of everything that was recently renovated in the house due to the sewage being backed up by a tree root, and new carpet, painting , revamping of both the security system and heater in the house, and a new valve being put on the engine of the car, now it needs a new hood and grill/bumper replacement.   That’s just wonderful.   On top of that, my sister was upset, and the police was behind the man who hit me.   So they asked us to pull into the parking lot of a store, and took the information.   No citation on my part, but a warning about being in the middle of turning lane on a yellow light.

I was trying to soften the blow to my dad, by calling my mom’s cell, who had gone to pick up my nephew at a friend’s house.   I finally texted my nephew to tell mom that we had been in an accident and no one was hurt.

Tuesday morning I looked at my damaged car.  I was able to drive it home Monday night after the accident report was taken, and now it was sitting in my garage waiting on the insurance people to say something.   I had some work to do, which kept my mind off of the damage.  Wednesday was another shopping day, and this time with my mom to a nearby mall.  I spent $77 on 2 sweaters, an infinity scarf, blanket for my couch (I love to snuggle under blankets), and a box of Moose Munch from Harry and David (my fav).   My dad had taken the car for an estimate, so before I drove it back home, I stopped by Starbucks for my annual Eggnog Latte.  (It was sooo good) I went to bible study that night and I usually ride with mom.

Here is a service announcement….Folks, in case you do not know, when you are in an accident, there are companies out there who will hunt down your accident report and call you so that you can total your car.   I received 4 solicited phone calls from mechanics who purposely looked up my accident report and asked me if I need a repair or to total my car.  “Well, if I needed one, I would have called you, so please talk to my father!”   This is what I wanted to tell each one of them as I answered the phone calls.  Talk about your intensiveness.  I was so mad Wednesday and Thursday, until I could just spit.   At least they could have asked was if I and my sister was alright.  Cars can be replaced, but we can’t.

Thursday was also the day that dad took the car in to be fixed.  So I was without a car.  I also was emotional.   Nope, it wasn’t that time of the month.  I was so over that at age 29.  I wrote a post about my first friend, and took it a little further and talked about my friend Lonnie.  You can read it here if you have not read it. 

Friday, still without a car, I did some business stuff.   Crazy stuff was going throughout the city of Columbus, including a man going on a shooting rampage.

Saturday, I got my car back, and it was bitterly cold outside.  Almost too cold for my new jacket, but dad asked me to take a look at my car, and it is beautiful.   The only thing that needs replacing is the emblem in front of the car.  It is still a reminder that I had the accident.  I finally got a chance to list some items for sale on my Etsy shop.

Now you see why I am grateful this week.  I am also thankful that my dad does not have a temper like I thought he did.  I am thankful that I, my sister, nor the guy was not taken by ambulance, I am thankful that the car nor the man truck was not totaled.   I am thankful for friends, family, and for a God I serve.   I have tons of blessings.

OK this at over 1000 words, so be blessed, and thankful my friend.

Tell us about your first friend.

Hugging Friends   By
Doug Mataconis

I had to think about this for a while.  After careful consideration, I want to explain this:   when I think about a person’s first friend, I can think about my cousins.   Yes, they are your relatives, but they act as your first friends and here is why.  They are the first people you are introduced to after your parents.   These are the people who can hold all your secrets from your parents.  You can laugh with them, play with them, and even hate them for a minute, jump back in as if you never had a hash word to say.

So without a doubt, my first friend was my cousin, Tammy.  She lives 4 hours away from me, and I do not see her much, because we are busy.   Tammy is only 6 months younger than me, and when we were little, she was my ying to her yang.   Total opposites.   I was military raised, while she was raised in Detroit.  She’s bossy while I was the quit one.

Our mothers are 7 years apart, separated by a sister and a brother who died at the age of 7.   My mother is older, while her mother was always accused of borrowing and never returning clothes.  I am in a lot of ways like my mother, while Tammy is defiantly like Aunt Liz. 

In a lot of ways, even though Tammy is younger than me.   I love her like a sister, even though we were not raised in the same area, we could always pick up where we left off.

I want to tell you about my second friend.   I met her when we lived in Southern California.  I was 3 and she was 4 and bossy as well (how did I end up with 2 bossy friends?)  Anyway, her name was Elondrea, Lonnie for short.  Our parents were friends, so that should make us automatic friends, right?  Right.   We lived in San Bernardino and she and her parents lived in Rialto.  I had fun spending the night at her house, because we did activities (not that we did not do activities at my house).  At one time, we both had the same type doll, but my doll had two names:  when she was at home, her name was Carol, but when I carried her over to Lonnie’s house, her name was Billy Jo (to Lonnie’s doll’s name of Bobby Jo).

We moved to McGuire AFB when I was 9, but Lonnie and her mother came to see us twice during that time.  That was the last time Lonnie seemed truly happy.   When we moved to Columbus in 1977, Lonnie came out to stay with us for a year, and she was a changed person.  We were getting into arguments, like any sister would, and while she was staying with us, she started experimenting with drugs, and became pregnant with her first and only child, Sequelia Olivet, Vet for short.   I was one her godmothers.  By then, Lonnie had moved back home, because mom and dad could not handle her.

In 1989 or 1990, Lonnie had taken to the streets of LA and started doing drugs very heavily.  After all, her mom took custody of Vet, so Lonnie felt that she did not have any responsibility.   She was also going with this guy during the time.  One night, Lonnie felt the need to steal some drugs off of him, and he killed her.  To this day, even though I live here in Columbus, it is still one of the things I have a hard time dealing with, and I am crying as I write this part of my post for Wednesday. 

I still miss my friend, Lonnie, but I know why.   Part of it had to with when she was 8, there were family members who started molesting her.  This was when I was 7, and that is something that no kid should ever have to go through.  I thank God that none of them touched me, and I think if they did, my father probably would be in prison and out of the Air Force, because no one messes with his little girl.  I guess when she started using, it was her way to numb the pain that she was felling.  I cannot relate to this. 

This is why I urge all parents to please talk to your children daily.  Make sure you listen to all the clue of a drug problem, bullying, or even that they are being sexual, emotional, or mentally abused. Maybe they cannot talk about it, but be there for them, tell them that you love them, and get them help before it is too late.  Keep them from not ending up like Lonnie.  May 15, 2014 would have been her 51^st birthday.   I wonder what her life would have been if that family member would have kept their hands off of her at age 8.  Her daughter is in her thirties and probably would not have been born.  My parents have not heard from Miss Olivet, Lonnie’s mom in 5 years.   I know this post is long, but Miss Olivet, if you happen to read this post, my parents would love to hear from you.  Please contact them, their number is the same.

Be blessed my friend.  Same to you, Miss Olivet.  Patti.

PS:  Tell me about your first friend.   Comment below.