Babies watching babies

(c) 2011 P. Lynne Designs

Status report from my Facebook page….” Sad news and a question. I was reading trends a few moments ago, and this is one of the reasons why I don't need to read nor see the news, but a 19-month old died in Houston, TX, because her siblings (two 3-year-olds) put her in the oven and she was severely burned. The oven was on. Now my childless self-wanted to know what was so damn important (sorry for the language), that the mother and the boyfriend had to leave these 4 children alone in the house? Nothing was that important. Ladies, unless you are passed out on the floor, there is NO REASON to leave a child under the age of 12 along in the home. NO REASON. if it is that important, CALL A BABYSITTER OR RELATIVE to watch your kids. Heck, take them to a police or fire station. Anything just does not leave them at home alone. Kids are too smart for their own good these days. Having them sit in front of a television set or computer while you are out for 5 minutes or longer does not cut it for these kids. There is so much stuff for a child to get into. You cannot have a baby watch a baby. There is a blog post coming, so I will continue my rant there. Be blessed.”

This is probably one of the hardest blog posts I have written on My Ambiance Life.  It comes with sadness, because I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I am a compassionate person, among my many flaws.  It is a flaw that I proud to have, and I feel that this is one of my character strengths, but it also comes with a price, I cry too easy.  Even though I have not cried about this particular case, I have cried about others in the past with the same ending…. Child dies while another sibling is caring for them, because parent is so in love with SO (Significate Other), too lazy to call or text an adult, or too crazy to call or text another adult to watch their children.  The child who is doing the watching usually is a sibling, who is next to the child who dies.  In this case, it is two 3-year old twins (I assume), and I guess, as the most cases are) the 19-month was crying, and they were trying to find a way to quiet the child.

Now there was supposed to be a fourth child in the home, and I wonder where was that child and how old that child was.  If that child was slightly older than the two 3-year olds (age 4-8), that would explain why the mother put that child in charge, but it still does not excuse for the absenteeism of the mother and the boyfriend.  It happens all too often.  A few weeks ago, an 8-year old was put in charge of a 1-year old, I believe, and the 8-year old beat the baby to death, again trying to quiet the child.

As I explained in my post on Facebook, I am childless, and even I know not to leave someone that young in charge of a baby (yes, at 19-months, they are still babies in my eyes).  I am not saying that a child cannot watch another child, but as an adult, you need to be within earshot range to grab the child and go into protective mode, should they get into harm’s way.  Some of the helpful ways that an older sibling under 12 can be helpful are:

·         Listen out for the baby when they should be waking up from a nap.

·         Alert parent when the baby is hungry or needs a diaper change.

·         Entertain the baby with you nearby, not out at the corner store.

·         Feed the baby with you nearby.

·         They can also briefly hold the baby while sitting down.

Again, I do not know nothing of this case, and my prayers go out to all involved.  I am not sure if the mom briefly left the children before, or if this was a first.  Either way now is not the time to criticize her (despite my rant on Facebook).  She has a long road ahead of her, by first laying her child to rest, then dealing with children services, who have no sympathy for the neglect of a child.  After all, even if she and the boyfriend were in the house, which could happen too, it was neglect in children services eyes.  People have left children before, and it will happen again in some other part of the country.

My prayer for parents has always think before you act, and this includes leaving children with others, especially with another child.  Make sure that child is responsible for taking care of that child, and it should be a child over the age of 13.  I did not mention 12 because that age is so awkward.  You are not a little child, but you are not a teen either.

I feel better, and I hope that everyone starts doing a little more thinking.  

Adventures into Aunthood part 2: That talk

Hello, and if you read yesterday’s episode, you should ready to hear about this one:   That talk.   I am not talking about THE Talk, which is a talk show on CBS with Julie Chen as one of the hosts, and what you do with pre-teens.  Nope, that is too easy.   I am talking about that talk that you feel like it is the parent’s job to have with THEIR child(ren).  This is THAT TALK that makes you cringe, often with no delight in it at all. That talk….well, let me set the scene up and you’ll be the judge.

When I last left you, my mom and I had a hard time last night putting 4-year old niece to bed.  I got my rest by writing part 1 of my night of aunthood, and viewing You Tube vids on my Ipad.   OK, well this morning was filled with the kids waking me up, getting them to brush their teeth, wash their face, and putting clothes on.  Breakfast was uneventful, and by then, mom had returned from her doctor’s appointment (which was the whole reason why I stayed the night, instead of going home).

The kids wanted to go outside, so I said OK to that.  Next thing I knew, nephew came in, and ratted on his sister.   She decided to become farmer niece, and pulled up one of dad’s onions that he planted two weeks ago.   The rule in the family was no one touches dad’s garden, except dad.   (It’s a running joke, you can actually get veggies out of the garden, but the onion was not ready).   Niece thought I was going to beat her (I did not, CPS, but the thought crossed my mind).  

Next, mom had to go to the grocery store for a couple of items, so off to Giant Eagle we go.   I stayed out in the car with them.  That was when “That talk” hit.   I reminded nephew that he was going to be 6 on Saturday, he said it was not true (like I was not there the day he was born), he was already 6, and his half-brothers told him that he was already 6.   I almost got into an argument with that one.  He said that his mommy (my sister) was already married, and I raised an eyebrow.   Nephew said that he and niece saw their mommy and then boyfriend, “B” did adult things with their bodies. (He actually used the actually word).  I did not know what to say at that point.  Nephew did not ask questions, neither one of them wanted no answers.   I was speechless.   This is the kind of talk I do not want to have with a 5-turning 6 years old little boy and a 4- soon to be 5 years old little girl.   It is not funny, nor is it cute.   I do not want to know my sister’s business, and yes, she was upset when she heard what he said that to me.

So why am I telling you?   To serve parents a warning:  please do not do anything that you do not want your siblings to know.  (Oops, that is three do’s, need to fix that).  I feel embarrassed finding this out from a 5 year old.   5 year olds are supposed to talk about themselves, and the latest things going on in their classroom, including the class gerbil.  The same with 4 year olds.   When did these sponges grow up?  OK, scratch that question.   When my oldest nephew was the middle one’s age, he brought home a cute little guinea pig named Hannah Banana home from school.  This was over the Christmas holiday.  I am not a rodent lover by any means necessary, but I fell in love with Hannah.   We talked about Scooby Doo, Diego (Dora the Explorer’s cousin), and what his friends were doing.   My how things changed in just those few years, because the oldest was 11 years old when the middle nephew was born.  Niece is sandwiched between her brother and the 2 turning 3 years old nephew.  

That’s another thing…Kids in this age group are sponges.  They soak up everything, and my mom gave my sister a warning about that too.   They are natural tattle-tales too.   No subject can get by a 2-10 year old.  They are the original Ma Bell.  So if you do not want anything, and I mean anything to leak out to family and friends, or even your boss, do not tell your children.  You will be fired quicker than you can say “unemployment.”  

So until next time, I will talk to you later.

Have a blessed day.