Thursday, January 19, 2017

Learning new things 1: Being a Dutiful Daughter

An aid getting meds
(c) 2017 P. Lynne Designs
In December 2016, I announced that I was slightly changing the scope of this blog while creating a new one to replace my now closed Simply Organized Crafts Blog.  At first, I thought about combining it with this one, but I love the topics I cover on this blog and I would not have it any other way.  So, a new blog is underway.  It is called Home’s Little Lessons and I cannot wait to get started.  I have one other blog that needs attending to, but I think I am just going to get rid of it, and put it in with Home’s Little Lessons.   The reason is I will be an every once in a while Independent Longaberger Home Consultant after June 1st.  I will stay on to get the discount and post a sale or two every once in a while.  Now that Housekeeping is done (a word quoted by Pete Werner of Disney UnPlugged), on with today’s post.
The other thing that I announced in December was that in 2017, I wanted to learn new things about myself, my city, my state, and my country, to name a few.  I never knew it would come so quickly.  One of the reasons why there was not a post last week was the art of becoming what I like to call being a “Dutiful Daughter” and the art of, “Be careful what you wish for”.  It may come true.
What is a Dutiful Daughter?
A dutiful daughter is a woman who puts aside all the things that she wants to do for the sake of her parents.   It is sort of the same as when a woman has all the dreams and aspirations of living her dream but put it aside to become a stay at home mom only you are helping your elderly parents.  So, when a parent says “Jump”, you do not question them, except to say, “How high?” This may cause sleepiness nights, eating at odd times, and taking breaks at odd times.  You make yourself an afterthought. 
For instance, I am writing this post at 4 am, when I should be sleeping.  Why?  Let me give you the back story:
This virus/flu/whatever you may call it has taken a toll on everyone in the United States.  Experts say it is the worst strain yet.  I have not been hit by it yet, but both my parents have been hit by it, as well as my oldest nephew.  The worst that hit me is my allergies, and that is it.  The person hit the hardest was my mom.  It starts out as a simply little cold.  She went to the doctors for that.  Then a few days later, she went back, and they said it was Bronchitis.  On January 7th, she was admitted to the hospital with Pneumonia.  She was so week, until she was unable to walk.  When she recovered from that, they transferred her to rehab, so she could gain strength back in her arms and legs.  The way she is recovering, we all keep telling her that they will evict her on Friday to finally come home, and she is ready to go home.
Between going back and forth to the house to make sure both mom and dad are ok, then back and forth to the hospital, and finally back and forth to the rehab place can take a toll on a person, especially if you are the only “child” that can do it.  My brother lives out of town, and my sister does not have a car, plus I am the eldest, and usually in an African American home, after the other parent, taking care of things falls on the eldest child.
Do I complain about it?  No, and besides that, I love both my parents.  My dad has been sleeping at the hospital, and then at the rehab place with mommy, so I have to take care of things when he cannot do them.  It is the least I can do, after all the things that they have done for me since I became an adult.  They are still doing it, such as my finances while I am trying to put together my business.  They do not have to do that for me.
So, that is what I mean by being a “dutiful daughter”.  My brother is coming this weekend to come visit mommy, and to help with things around the house, such as finally taking down the Christmas tree, and other things.  Nothing matches with son, and I am most certain that if he lived here, he would also give dad a break every once in a while.
So, this is my first lesson in learning new things.   It is not like I have helped out before.  There was the time mommy had surgery, so I had to learn how to wash on a fly.  I was in my early teens, when this happened.  Of course, I have always made sure that my parents were OK.  Dad is an old-fashioned man, meaning “men take can of man’s work, and women take care of women’s work” that sort of thing.  Dad learned how to use the washer this week.  Mommy always did it.  When she gets home, I will slow cook a pork roast to stretch out the week, and I will cook other things for them.  Dad’s idea of cooking is “what do you want me to buy?”  That will only happen a few times.  They do have someone come in to clean the house, plus my eldest nephew still lives there, and he also has been helping out.
Take away lesson for you:  The lesson I want you to see out of this is tri-folded.   (1) Make sure you learn all the basic of taking care of yourself before you graduate from high school.  You never know when you may need it.  The one thing I need to learn all over again is how to wash.  The current washer I have is a two-cycle washer.  I do not have all the bells and whistles that today’s washer have.   (2) Be kind to your parents, you never know when you may need them beyond the 0-18-year-old contract, or they may need you someday.  I am blessed that my parents have been married over 50 years, never once discussed the possibility of getting a separation or a divorce (although one time when I was 10 and heard them arguing, I was sure it was grounds for one (Overactive mind of a 10-year-old at work)), and my father never laid one hand on my mother in an abusive situation.  Love pats, yes, abusive, never. (3) Take care of yourself during a time of crisis.  My mother is constantly asking me if I am eating, and when I tell her the truth of the things I am not doing to help me be the best me, she gets mad at me, and tells me that I must do it.  This includes taking care of the things for my business.  Make sure you eat, sleep, and so forth.  You are not doing yourself and that person (rather it is a parent, spouse, or child) a favor if you are sick.
Have a great week.

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