What's with the Gaydar...can a person just Be single?

Ok, there I said it.   What's with the gaydar all of a sudden?   I was reading Facebook 5 mins ago (Can you tell I love to read), when I ran across this article on my news feed, "Oprah Admits She is Gay".  So like any curious person, I clicked on it.  It is some video of her talking to Barbara Walters two years ago.  It is edited, but the question to Oprah was is she gay?   I am not going into details with the video, but like I said, it’s edited, and bad editing at that. This is the second time in the past 24 hours I read where someone has reported that a celebrity is supposed to admit that they are not what they are in the public eye.   12 hours ago, I read about Queen Latifah and her personal trainer having a little smooch on the cheek and then she was at the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender event in Long Beach, CA calling them "her peeps".   

What I want to know is when did this country become one great big National Enquirer rag paper?   Did I fall asleep in some alternative universe where gaydar is the norm?  Yes I am calling it right, GAYDAR.  Why are we as a country so concern if someone like Queen and Oprah admit that they are gay.   I know I am not.   So why am I writing this post?  Simple, because this society has this problem that if anyone over the age of 35 who does not have a man or a woman under their arm or mentions they have one, they must be gay.   Well guess what?  I am over the age of 35, I am single, never had a date to save a life, but yet I want a man.   I am not being picky about my selection of men, but I want the right one to come along and sweep me off of my feet.   does that mean I am gay?   I want you to ponder that for a moment.

At the time, I was married to having a career, just like some women I know.  We are not out there running after a man to take care of us.  Hey, if they want to do that, it is fine with me, but I do not except handouts.  Apparently nether do stars like Oprah who want it all.  we are not the generation who were taught that you let a man sweep you off your feet, and then when you get married, you sit down and eat bonbons all day, or if you work, you give hubby the paycheck, and you get an allowance. That went out with the 1970's.  Today, you can get hubby the dinner, be attentive to his needs, and still be your own woman with children.  Marriage is a 50/50 thing, an equal partnership.  Just because some women waited, and still waiting does not mean that we want a woman to keep us warm instead of a man.   I used to think that I would never have a man because they were all taken, and yes, I might have at one time preferred a single man with no children who is part of my race (which is African American ), but now I am open.  He can be divorced, single, with or without children, white, brown, or Asian, but he must apply himself.  He does not need a degree in something, but he needs to be working.  He also has to profess Jesus as his Lord and Savior.   I will not stop going to church, praying or reading the bible because of a man.  I will not stop working because I have a man either.   

Look, even if they were gay, which stars like Rosie O'Donnell, Ellen DeGeneres, and Wanda Sikes have admitted to being gay in the last few years, so what business is it of ours?   They feel comfortable about it enough to announce it on television.  There are some like Robert Reed (of Brady Bunch fame) who went to the grave with it.  (Only a hand few of people know about it until after his death)

So please stop with the gaydar.  If they are, they are, and if not, Oh well.  None of my business.  As they say, different strokes for different folks.  Worry what is going on in your own back yard, and leave everyone else's alone.  Gossip is not good for the soul or your spirit.

Monday Morning being single and childless

Happy morning to you all.   I have no particular topic for this morning.  It is 7:28am where I live, and it a lovely May 7, 2012 day.  So far.  I have a really busy week ahead of me, that I am sure the Lord will bless me with.   When I woke up, I thought about my day, and what it will bring a single gal like me.  I do not have to get up, try to fix breakfast for myself, a husband, and kids.   If I had to do it all over again and choose my destiny, by now, that getting up, getting dressed, meeting my husband in the bathroom as he getting ready for work would have been a reality.   I would say that I miss it, but I never had it in the first place.  How can I miss something I never had?    Let me ponder that for a moment.

For you single ladies out there, no matter what age you are, Why are you single and how have you dealt with it up to this point?  For me, it was a little of choice, a little of career, and a little of "where are the men?"  I wanted it all.  I wanted to be one of the ones in the household bringing home the bacon.  My mother was at home for a while.  This was during a time when women stayed at home, while the husband worked, and women formed clubs to pass the time away, when they were cleaning, making dinner, washing something (clothes, dishes, children).  When they were not doing that, they were grocery shopping, mending, and as I said earlier, getting together with the ladies.  My father was in the Air Force (retired in 1979), so he flew a lot.  I have had my share of pachinko machines he would bring back from Japan.   When I was 12, my mom got her first job, at a fabric store.  There she became assistant manager, and I learned my first skill, inventory. Starting at age 16, I would volunteer to do inventory, and made a little bit of money for whatever I wanted.  It was easy, because I was the assistant manager's daughter, so you better not mess with me, at least so I thought.  She retired in 1995 from working in a home improvement center, but she has not stopped working.   She now works in the church, doing things such as food pantry and being a Christian Education chairperson (a position she has held proudly since 1980).  When she retired, she and my dad became foster parents, which is how I got my sister (My birth sisters are in heaven).

Yes, I still want to get married.  I love the idea of loving someone, and getting love back from them, which brings me to the point of children.  I am the only one in the family without a child.   The idea of physically giving birth ended at age 29 due to health issues, but I never said that I would not adopt either way.  I have not dealt with the news very well at times.   My brother has two boys, and my sister has a boy and a girl, and although I love being aunt to these four people (ages 16, 4, 3, and 1), I still long for one of my own.  Although, the child will not be growing inside of me they have,  however, been growing inside my heart for the last few years.

I am not saying that being single does not have its perks.  If I want quiet time, I turn off the television or radio.   If I really do not want to be bothered (and I have not), I do not answer the phone (although I make my parents worry).  The messes are mine (except my car in the backseat -its theirs, LOL, and I am still finding french fries from Mickey D's).   I still like Disney, and trying to take the family of 10 (4 adults, 2 seniors, a teen, and 3 little ones) in 2013.  I have my own business, and I can work up to 4 am if I want to without taking a break except to eat and go to the bathroom.  If I had hubby and kids, there would be the constant "honey could you do this", calling mommy for no reason (although it is hilarious when the kids scream aunty for no reason), boo-boos (hubby and kids), and the endless calls of "what's for dinner?".   So for those of you who are married (and you know who you are), ask yourself this question, "how would it feel to be single and childless?"  Consider yourself blessed with the fact that you have found someone, and that you can get up for those 2am feedings.  I consider myself blessed in all areas, single and childless or not, but I am still looking, and my baby girl (or boy) is not far, rather I marry or not.  I still enjoy working, and everyone would have to adjust to my present schedule, and me to theirs.  God Bless you on this day.