Frantic Friday: Lessons on Adulting, The Tax Edition

TAX TIME! (c) 2017 P.Lynne Designs

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Today, I am presenting to you, my reading audience, a double dose of pure adventure in my journey of learning new things in 2017: Lesson #3: adulting the tax way.

I am not claiming to be an expert on this topic because there is no right way of doing things.  This is Patricia’s way, the only way I know how to adult with this.

For those of you who read this blog from other countries, April is tax month in the States.  Now there are two ways you can go about this mandatory task in adulthood:  Deal with it, or cry, then deal with it.  Either way, you deal with it, like death (the whole non-avoidance thing of “Death and Taxes”).  My suggestion is to pull up your big girl/big boy pants and deal with it.  I tried the crying method.  It does not work.  You can avoid going to the dentist, avoid getting married, or even having a child, but you cannot avoid death and taxes.  I am not sure how your country deals with taxes, but something tells me that taxes, like death, is unavoidable. 

I have two types of taxes to file, as a person and as a business person.  Now I can avoid filing as a business person.  It is simply, to not have a business.  I can simply go to work like a normal employee, and file the personal portion for taxes.  I have done that since the age of 18.  It is only the last 16 years I have filed both personal and business taxes.   Thanks to the calendar this year, everyone has an extension to April 18^th to file their taxes, which is due to April 15^th being on a weekend and it is also Easter.

I thank God that I have an accountant, who takes care of the filing for me.  I had my tax “adulting” appointment today.  I know, procrastination at its finest.  This should have taken care of it the first of February.  Yes, February.  You have 3 months, 2 weeks to file your taxes.  Between me being sick, my mom being sick, and me pulling the covers over my head, screaming, “I do not want to adult today”. This lead to this procrastination.  I also thank God for my accountant taking me at the last minute.  I called her yesterday, LOL.  Oh, did I tell you that I and my dad have the same accountant?  Yes, that is how I got her in the first place, three years ago.  No, it is not my mom.

Lunch, the hard way.

So, I made my appointment on time, and after my accountant went over my information, discussed hair and her up and coming trip, as well as my up and coming trip (that how close we have gotten in the 3 years), I left and wanted to try something new for lunch.  I had heard about these Poke bowls that have swam ashore to the Mainland from Hawaii, and there was a place Downtown Columbus that sold them there. Since I like sushi, I thought I would give it a go.  OK, here is how I got a Poke bowl in Downtown Columbus:

Drove down Oak Street, ran into construction, made a left on Third, ran into a problem, and sat for a minute (downtown traffic is no joke around here), made my way to High Street.  Drove High Street to Gay Street, turned right.  Looked for the place (which was at 100 Gay Street). I saw that I had no place to park, so decided against it, decided to feed the car instead.  Drove back home (at least to a gas station near my home), filled up the car.  While waiting for the gas to go into the tank, I noticed that the people who fixed my car did not wash it, so after the car finished eating, I drove down to get the car washed.  After getting the car washed, I did not want to drive all the way back downtown, so I got Captain D’s instead.  While I was sitting in Captain D’s, I called the parents, found out my sister was there, so I forgo getting the Ipad checked out as well.  So that is how I got a poke bowl.

4 Easter Baskets of Goodness
(c) 2017 P.Lynne Designs

A tisket, a Tasket, a cute little Easter Basket

So, my brother came into town with his mini-me (Nephew, 6), and while he and my dad went to get dinner, I and mom decided to fix the children’s Easter baskets.  For 4 children (a niece (8), two nephews (6 and 9), and a great-nephew (2)), they will each receive:

·         3 eggs filled with chocolate

·         A Chocolate Cross (as opposed to a chocolate bunny)

·         2 two toys according to the age of the child

o   A firetruck for each boy; a mermaid doll for the girl

o   Rubik cube-like puzzle for the 9-year-old

o   Cars for the 6-year-old

o   Bunny sunglasses for the 2-year-old

o   I still need to find one thing for the 8-year-old

·         A twisty lollipop

All in a basket for each child

The 6-year-old said he saw what was in his basket so we will see.  The adults (their parents) will get in their Easter basket one hyped up child, LOL.

New Apartments
(c) 2017 P.Lynne Designs

So, as you see, my day has been very interesting in the way of food, driving in downtown Columbus is nothing to sneeze at (I took some photos of new apartments I have never seen before), but it was fun to play Easter Bunny for the evening.  (As opposed to playing Santa, LOL).  So, spring has finally sprung in Columbus, and I could not have been any happier.

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!  HE HAS RISEN!!!! 

My heart is heavy but thankful

(c) 2016 Card and Photo by P.Lynne Designs

This week, I was hit with and reminded of losses.  Friday and Saturday have not come yet, but yet I am reminded of these things that are held so dear.

First, there was a loss of things….

Sunday night, after coming home from my parents, I discovered a small leak in my garage.  I live in a 4-unit condo (1 ranch, 2 townhomes (one of them is mine), and a loft unit.  If you have ever lived in an apartment (flat if you are from the European Union), you know that if something happens in the common areas (garage, outdoor space, etc.) it affects everyone in the building. 

Now this is how my mind works:  see a leak, panic, call parents.  End of story. Sunday’s was different.  I when I called to let them know I was safe at home, I went into, “I just wanted to let you know” mode.  OK, hours later, I am using the downstairs bathroom, and my left foot happened to touch something wet. This was 3 in the morning.  I picked up a skirt, which I thought I left over at my parent’s house, and it was dripping wet.  I went into, “I’m too tired for this, let me put this in the washer and deal with it when I wake up”.  The bathroom also doubles as a laundry room. I went to bed.

Hours of the incident, I turned on the washer and went about with my dressing for the day.  Suddenly during the spin cycle, I hear water rushing to the floor.  I panic but composed myself as I turned off the washer in mid-spin. Called the house and mom answered.  I told her to tell dad that water is all over bathroom/laundry floor and a plumber was needed ASAP!   I then pulled a “not so bright” move and decided to flush the toilet. (I can see some of you face palming right now, LOL).  Water went rushing everywhere, and I could not turn off the water valve to the toilet (remember, the washer is off by now.)  My mom and nephew came over to help me clean up. 

I had to use the upstairs bathroom until today, and that loss of using this luxury item (yes, a bathroom/laundry room is a luxury item), help me appreciate the two-bathroom system because the homeless have none.  The problem was solved by a plumber coming to help a red rag out to sea, but not before the hefty price was given, Ouch!

The second loss was having no printer to print business cards for an event I had a table at.  I make my own business cards.  It is much cheaper than going through a company by Vista Print or Staples when you are in a pinch, and believe me, I was in a pinch.  I have been meaning to order some cards all year but never got around to it.  I decided to print on 110 lb. paper.  I thought that the printer could handle it, and nope, the cardstock jammed on me.  OK, not to panic.  So, I cleared the jam, and the printer would not do a thing.  This was Monday evening.  Whenever something goes wrong in the computer department, I call my nephew, Mike.  So, I called him, and like most 20-somethings, he will get to me in the morning.  Well, it was too late for that.  Thank God I decided to print up two sheets on regular paper. So, I put everything in a folder to make a fast copy or two at Staples on my way to the event.  The problem is not really solved, because of a Polar Vortex that decided to blanket the city with snow and ice the next day, it was bad going through one of the busiest streets in the city.  There were only 15 people at the meeting, and I was just following up today.

So now it is early Friday morning, and I was reminded of several losses yesterday:

My friend, who is a teacher, was remembering the children and adults who died in the Sandy Hook school incident.  I cannot remember what I was doing that day, but I told her on Facebook, even though I am no longer a teacher (Pre-K for 3 years), and I do not have a child, I would throw myself in the line of fire, if a person dares to try and kill a child.  No child should ever be killed by anyone, but yet there are those persons who feel the need to kill anything and anyone.

Speaking of which, I was also reminded of the man, Mr. Roof (forgot his first name) was found guilty on 33 counts of murdering 9 people during a bible study at Emmanuel AME church in South Carolina.  He did it so he can restart hatred (racism) or segregation in South Carolina.  I guess he thought that it wrong for people of color to have so much freedom, to do what we need to do in order to live in this country.  The sentencing phase begins next month.

It does not matter what the loss is (material, loved one, or physical freedom), the point I am trying to make is having the ability to go on.  Now naturally, the loss of things (such as plumbing and the ability to complete

a task) is nothing compared to losing a loved one.

In both cases (the loss of innocent children and the 9 during a bible study class), the hurt becomes less and less as time moves on.  Eventually, a person would be able to smile when the gentleness of things reminds them of that person, but they have to get there first.  I am not an expert on grief and I am not claiming to be an expert, but the loss of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends have been less and less painful, as I moved on in my life, and I am greeted with little reminders, such as a song my mother’s mother used to sing.  I would find a tear fall from my eye, reflect, and move on.  It does not bring her back, but it also reminds me that she is in a better place than I am.

I think the hardest thing I had to do was to attend a baby’s funeral.  It was 2 years ago, and the baby only lived for a day.  It was a friend of our family’s baby.  It wasn’t a week before that time, in which I asked my mom what day we were going to the baby store to pick out a gift for the baby shower.  Things happened so fast.  The next hardest was attended a 6-year old’s funeral after he had been sick for a long time.  In both cases, I found myself questioning God and asked why these two.  The same when I attended another person’s funeral in her early 20’s.  I though during those trying times about, how God should have just left them alone and allow them to experience life to the fullest, but I had not considered other circumstances, such as the mother’s life (who was also in her 20’s), the 6-year old was in an accident when he was 3 months old, or that the young lady had cancer and was barely hanging on.  So, I turned them into teachable moments that I experienced. 

Yes, loss is hard, very hard on loved ones left behind, but it gets easier. In the case of the Sandy Hook, new gun laws have been on the books.  Teachers (including my friend) across the country are going through ALICE (Alert, Lockdown, Inform, Counter, Evacuate) Trainings, to make sure that every child is safe in the school they are assigned to attend.  There is nothing you can do about the shooter, because he killed himself that day.  It is important that everyone to know when a person is about to go off.  Know the signs, watch their behavior.

As for Mr. Roof, justice has been served, but there are people who are a magazine of bullets away from killing people in a church or elsewhere.  In the denomination that I belong to, The United Methodist Church, churches across the country have in place a program called Safe Sanctuaries.  In each church, there is a policy that tells members, potential members, guests, and their families that this is a church where they can feel safe, and there are rules in place in the event that something happens during a meeting or a worship service.  I am sure that there are similar policies in place in other churches.

Just remember that when you are going through loss, either of things or loved ones, you are not alone in this at all. 

Mom. Mommy. Mama. Mother

I was watching The View yesterday
, when the ladies, who were Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, Paula Faris, Michelle Collins, and Raven-Symone, was discussing the topic of motherhood and what to call women who are unable to have children, including those who choose not to have them for whatever reason.

It made me think about the post I wrote back in 2012 called “Monday Morning being single and childless” (May 7. 2012).  In that post, I talked about what my life would be like, if I had done all the things I wanted to do, if God had allowed me to get married and have a baby or two.  I also talked about reasons why going the 9-month mommy route was not available to me after age 29, as well as not getting married at a young age.  I still hope the find that husband, and I hope I will enjoy whatever family God presents to me, and that I do not feel like an outsider of that family.  It is very important to me that my future step-children accept me as part of their father’s life.  If not, that is the way it has to be.  I am marrying their father, if asked, not them.  I am also praying that my own father will still get to walk me down the aisle.

OK at this point I am getting off track, you can read the post by clicking on the link….

Back to the topic…

This is to the mothers reading this; “Never assume that just because a woman does not have children that she does not know what she is talking about.  I am an aunt with no kids.  There are also teachers, pediatricians, nurses, and other concerned women, and well-meaning women who have the mothering instinct.  Just because we did not carry YOUR CHILD in our belly for nine months or do not have adoption papers, that does not mean we cannot offer advice, or correct your child when the time comes.  We are trying to keep your child out of harm’s way, and at that time we have your child, they are our child.  Once we release your child back into your custody for the day or week, then we have no say so in the discipline part, but we still reserve the right to interact with your child.”

To the Women who feel bullied by mothers….

“Please live your life and do not pay attention to what they have to say.  You have advice and want to give it, give it.  If the mom (or dad) accepts the advice without question, great, you have won the battle.  If the child needs to be disciplined, do it, but please tell the parent the problem and how it was solved, especially if you are a teacher.  I know we all might want to smack the child, but please refrain from doing so.  Offer other corrective measures.  There is nothing worse than miscommunication between your version and the child in question’s version.  Children will exaggerate to avoid being on punishment with their parent. Stand your ground.  If they (the parent) says you do not know what you are talking about, just move on.  It not that serious.  I am sure that person does it to everyone.  I feel your pain.”

I am still looking into adoption, I was given some advice on the age of the child by everyone who I talked to.  When I first looked into it, I was told that I was better off not being a mother by more people, especially family.  The only reason I can give was they are mothers themselves, and some had wished that they did not embark on such a task.   If they had to do it all over again, they would not have done it.  That does not mean they do not love their children they have now, it is just that they wish they would have been given more time to think about it, before getting pregnant. I also feel like that the women who gave me this advice, wanted to know why I want to give up the freedom I have now, for someone who would not appreciate the time that I would be spending with them.

To them, I would say:  “One of the reasons why I went into business for myself is so I would have the time to spend with my potential child.  I am preparing for that time.  It is a time that any employer would and could not let me have once a child comes into the picture.  I would not or could not ask an employer to allow me that privilege because that would mean that everyone in that company would have to be given that same right.   It would not be fair to them or me. Believe me, I could not have it any other way, although I do miss getting a weekly paycheck.  I still get plenty of interaction from my church family, my biological family, my women groups, and customers.  One of the things that still hold true is when it comes time to adjusting my schedule, and I had to do that a lot lately by taking off a month to recoup, and revamping my business and my personal life.  It should not be any different when I apply for adoption.” Also, some family members have changed their tune since advising me on going the mommy route.

Look, everyone should be called a mother or a father.  What is the difference, besides seeing a child 24/7/365?  You should be prepared to care for a person younger than 18 (21 if special needs).  You are the provider of that person’s food, clothing, shelter, health, and they should depend on you for comfort, advice, and to teach them from right or wrong.   You should be able to go from zero to 60 in 2.2 seconds when that child cries out in the middle of the night or when they are in trouble.  You should be able to defend your child in any situation.  There is some emotional attachment to all that I mentioned above, and you shall not harm them.  Anyone can give birth, but it takes a lot to be a mother (or a father).

As mention in both my public and private writings (yes, I keep a personal journal) I am so ready for the challenge with or without a man.  I would love to have a father figure in my future child’s life.  I would have some requirements for that man to fulfill, such as being on the same page with me in the care and well-being of my child.  None of that funny stuff.  Both the child and I need to trust that person, and I will get more into detail when the time comes.  That is why ladies, you cannot have just any old man, who loves and calls you baby, but hates YOUR baby.  That is another subject for a different day.

So back to The View topic; when a woman with no children wants to say something about your child or has advice for you, please do not dismiss it, we are only exercising our maternal nature that God has given all of us.  Take or leave it.

Hug your children...

(Photo credit: Tony Trần)

This post is very, very hard for me to write.  Normally, on my blogs I have posts on how-to's (scrapbooking,  making cards, organization, traveling tips), advise (joining my team, again tips, ), specials and deals on products, and other posts, but the this is the first time I have publicly writing on this in the three years I have written a blog.
Children are our precious commodity that a person could ever have.  You have read my posts about me not having children personally, but I am an aunt of a 16, 5, 4, and 2 year old.  They bring me joy when I see them, and each comes with their own personality.   The 16 year old is trying to be a man (he will be 17 in February); the other three is just trying to find themselves in the world and understanding all that goes on in the world.  I want to protect them as much as their own parents do, which is why I have been very sadden by these events of today.  I personally have had a death in my church family this week of a young lady, who has left behind a 6 year old son.  My heart breaks for that family, as well as the families who lost loved ones through this senseless act.  Death is a part of life, but I have a tender spot for those who die under the age of 25, for they have not even begun to live life to it's fullest, and will never know what it is like to do so.
What I am about to say may sound a little selfish, but I feel I would like to say what I felt I could not say on Facebook.
I understand when a person say things like we feel for all the parents and grandparents in today's tragedy   Ok I get it, I do too, but what about the aunts and uncles?  Do you feel for them too?  Some aunts and uncles do not have children of their own nor are they married.  Some have chosen not to go down that path in their life for what ever reason, then there are people like me who have always wanted to be a wife and mother, but for some reason, God has said that this is not the path I should take right now, even though I am two years from 50.  Who knows, it may actually happen, and I will be glad when it does.  I will adopt and I will find that man.  Enough about me.
Parents, by now if you have not seem the television of the events that happened today in Newtown, Connecticut, someone has told you about it.  Basically, a man got upset, went on a shooting rampage in an elementary school, killing 8 little ones (2 died at the hospital) and 6 adults (there is a 7th, but not sure if this is related or not).  The reason:  his mother works there, and he was mad at her.   So let me get this straight:  you are going to get mad at your mother, then shoot anyone in sight on your gun.  Has anyone heard of a thing called going to a place to cool down and let it go?   I am sure whatever reason it is, it was not worth killing people, especially 8 people who have no chance in having their first date, graduating, learning to love someone other than their parents, walking in the sunshine, getting married, having a mini-me (children of their own), or seeing where life and God will take them?  Was this person that selfish to even try to take out their own mother, that he takes out people he did not know nor cares about?  What about the adults?  They will not see their children have children of their own, plan weddings, graduations, or vacations around them.  This goes for the adults who were killed as well as the parents who lost their children.  
If you have a child, take time out to hug them, love them, and if they whine about something, let them, but do corrective measures.  Do not let a little whine bother you.  Do not let a little cry or tantrum bother you. Do not let work consume you to the point where you do not realize that you have children
Remember like I said in the beginning, children are our precious commodity, and please do not know let anyone take that away from you.   Be strong and be blessed this holiday season, through the rest of the year, and always.

Related articles

• Statement by the President on the School Shooting in Newtown, CT
• Hug Your Children Tight, Today - Everyday.
• Video, Full Text: President Obama's Statement on Connecticut Shooting

Monday Morning being single and childless

Happy morning to you all.   I have no particular topic for this morning.  It is 7:28am where I live, and it a lovely May 7, 2012 day.  So far.  I have a really busy week ahead of me, that I am sure the Lord will bless me with.   When I woke up, I thought about my day, and what it will bring a single gal like me.  I do not have to get up, try to fix breakfast for myself, a husband, and kids.   If I had to do it all over again and choose my destiny, by now, that getting up, getting dressed, meeting my husband in the bathroom as he getting ready for work would have been a reality.   I would say that I miss it, but I never had it in the first place.  How can I miss something I never had?    Let me ponder that for a moment.

For you single ladies out there, no matter what age you are, Why are you single and how have you dealt with it up to this point?  For me, it was a little of choice, a little of career, and a little of "where are the men?"  I wanted it all.  I wanted to be one of the ones in the household bringing home the bacon.  My mother was at home for a while.  This was during a time when women stayed at home, while the husband worked, and women formed clubs to pass the time away, when they were cleaning, making dinner, washing something (clothes, dishes, children).  When they were not doing that, they were grocery shopping, mending, and as I said earlier, getting together with the ladies.  My father was in the Air Force (retired in 1979), so he flew a lot.  I have had my share of pachinko machines he would bring back from Japan.   When I was 12, my mom got her first job, at a fabric store.  There she became assistant manager, and I learned my first skill, inventory. Starting at age 16, I would volunteer to do inventory, and made a little bit of money for whatever I wanted.  It was easy, because I was the assistant manager's daughter, so you better not mess with me, at least so I thought.  She retired in 1995 from working in a home improvement center, but she has not stopped working.   She now works in the church, doing things such as food pantry and being a Christian Education chairperson (a position she has held proudly since 1980).  When she retired, she and my dad became foster parents, which is how I got my sister (My birth sisters are in heaven).

Yes, I still want to get married.  I love the idea of loving someone, and getting love back from them, which brings me to the point of children.  I am the only one in the family without a child.   The idea of physically giving birth ended at age 29 due to health issues, but I never said that I would not adopt either way.  I have not dealt with the news very well at times.   My brother has two boys, and my sister has a boy and a girl, and although I love being aunt to these four people (ages 16, 4, 3, and 1), I still long for one of my own.  Although, the child will not be growing inside of me they have,  however, been growing inside my heart for the last few years.

I am not saying that being single does not have its perks.  If I want quiet time, I turn off the television or radio.   If I really do not want to be bothered (and I have not), I do not answer the phone (although I make my parents worry).  The messes are mine (except my car in the backseat -its theirs, LOL, and I am still finding french fries from Mickey D's).   I still like Disney, and trying to take the family of 10 (4 adults, 2 seniors, a teen, and 3 little ones) in 2013.  I have my own business, and I can work up to 4 am if I want to without taking a break except to eat and go to the bathroom.  If I had hubby and kids, there would be the constant "honey could you do this", calling mommy for no reason (although it is hilarious when the kids scream aunty for no reason), boo-boos (hubby and kids), and the endless calls of "what's for dinner?".   So for those of you who are married (and you know who you are), ask yourself this question, "how would it feel to be single and childless?"  Consider yourself blessed with the fact that you have found someone, and that you can get up for those 2am feedings.  I consider myself blessed in all areas, single and childless or not, but I am still looking, and my baby girl (or boy) is not far, rather I marry or not.  I still enjoy working, and everyone would have to adjust to my present schedule, and me to theirs.  God Bless you on this day.