Friday, April 19, 2013

Give Me an Understanding....

Of the things that has happened these past few days.  I am growing tired of this.   I want to understand how a person, or should say people can just take a life, a live that most of us hold near and dear, but I cannot.   The reason why I can't is because of my beliefs.  I read an article of a 16 year old girl on BlogHer two days ago asking the senate why they won't allow background checks for guns control.  In the letter she sent, she speaks about being ashamed to be called American, because the Senate, in her eyes failed to protect her as she goes off to school each day.   I do not blame her, I am still trying to figure that one out myself.   In my head, I am thinking that the senate is controlled by the NRA (National Riffle Association), and I am going to leave it at that.  These are just my opinions.
Some people are wondering where was God in all of this mess, and why doesn't He stop it?   If you look deep inside, He was there, you just have to know where to look.  Do not look for a physical being to just show up and take charge over the situation. Look for Him through others.  If God had not showed up at the finish line, how many people would have truly helped others?  When I looked at the footage of the finish line on television, I saw acts of compassion, not just acts of hate.   The end result was that only two people did the damage, as well as 3 people were killed, and you have to remember that in the 1990's, one man, Timothy McVay did one senseless act that brought down a federal building in Oklahoma, and killed many.  You may ask, What about 9/11?   To me, that was a horse of a different color, and I personally do not know how to explain that, except through the act of compassion in the end, allowed people to help others during that tragic time in American history.
I am not one who likes to talk much about things that are going on in our society, I am more of an observer.  I have my opinions and as I grow to become a better Christian, I have learned not to have the reactions I had when I was younger.  I guess because I know who has my future.  Does that mean I do not have problems?  No, it just simply means that I do not have a knee jerk reaction to a situation and I am learning to control my temper.  That does not mean I do not have meltdown days.  I cried Monday.   I want a world we can all just get along, obey God,  and a world where my niece, nephews, and future child can grow in harmony, but I also know that is not going to happen, as long as we have hatred in this world.
So, I am back to my original topic and title, give me an understanding and my understanding is this....As long as we know the rules of the land, serve and obey God, respect all mankind with their views and beliefs, this can be a pretty good country to live in after all.  My life is pretty good, and I hope you feel the same way about yours.  I feel sad and pray for others who do not have this belief about life, and I think we have forgotten the 10 commandments.  This also has to do with the last ones, Thou shall not murder; Thou shall not steal; and thou shall not commit adultery (paraphrasing Exodus 20: 1-17)
Anyway, have a blessed weekend, and be safe in everything you do.
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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I felt like a mom, and it felt good.

I have often blog about being without a child.  Well yesterday, I felt like a mom, let me explain....

It was only a couple of hours, I know, I will get the nay-sayers, but unless you walk a mile in a mother's shoes, you do not know even a fraction of what they go through with children.   I will tell you, it will be worth  every red cent I will have shell out to adopt a child.   I will call this one, "two hours with the niece and nephew."  Now before I go into today's little problem, I do want to let you know that I have kept these two before, but on separate occasions and separate from each other.  Some during the day, some in the evening, and sometimes overnight.   I have kept them as babies, so you cannot tell me that I have not kept them before.   What makes yesterday so special from the other times that I have kept them?   I am sure you have seen siblings fight before.  This one is for the ages for me.
So my sister wanted me to take her to get her temps, and she laid out the plan.   This was an unexpected trip for me, because I expected to work on business things.   No problem.   So I go to pick them up.  My sister brings the car seats out, and following her were the little ones, Mr. "I had to cut my hair in the middle of the night so my mommy can give me a buzz cut", and Miss "I do not want my mommy to comb my hair so I can look like Don King's child."  The niece was pouting for that reason and sucking her thumb (She's 4).   Ok, the four of us start riding and get to the BMV.  My sister goes in, and that is when it starts.  the nephew says that he is 6, and since I know when his birthday is (May 25th), I told him that he has another month to go.   He blurts out, "I hate you", which he has never said to me before.  So I told him that hate is such a strong word for a little boy.  I knew that he meant, which was "I did not like what you said to me auntie." Then he turns into Mr. "I'm hungry", and starts crying, only to suck it up two minutes later.   Niece, on the other hand, likes to pick at everything in the car, and then decides to pick on older brother.  Before I could say something to stop her from doing this, nephew tells his sister, "stop it, I hate you".  She says, "I do not like you either."  Now I know where this is going to , because as a child, I said it to my siblings, and I even threaten them before.  I have gotten in trouble more than once, because I was the oldest, and the oldest child  never gets away with murder.  
So here I am, the adult in this situation, and I issue out the "do not talk to each other or else" speech.  I threaten to have the child who speaks to the other one stand outside if they do not leave the other child alone.  besides that, they were supposed to be watching a video the whole time.   Just then, my sister calls and tells me to meet her in front of the building, so I drove over, and she hands me money for me to get some food.   Yay!   So I decide that I was going to Mickey D's (McDonald's nickname) and when we get there, I asked the two of them what do they want in a kid's meal.   Let's see.... niece still eats like a preschooler and she wanted the cheeseburger happy meal with no onions, nephew wanted the hamburger with everything on it (standard Mickey D's burger), both got High C orange drinks, and nephew wanted the standards teen's meal of extra chicken nuggets, which I did not order.  He got mad and issued the "I hate you" lingo.  He got over it.    I ate a fish sandwich (which is the only thing I eat there now (I have not gotten over the pink fluff in the hamburger report of 2011) ), and an iced mocha.   I drove back to the BMV to wait on my sister.
She emerged 20 minutes later, having failed the test, which she is going back on the bus to take today.
I can see myself being a mom everyday.  I want to be that nurturing person, who can get the job done, and my kids happy, fed, and for the most part, satisfied.   I also have been dealing with the oldest nephew by driving him around, and issuing the "you are not drive to such and such place with me sitting next to you, just because you have no temps" speech. (he's 17)  Believe me, I do not want to be put under the jail for any thing involving him and my car.
So, I do not envy mothers (and fathers) one bit.  In the meantime, if you have been keeping score, I have one more nephew I did not mention.   He is 2, cute as a button , and is still scared of the garage door opener.   Will he ever get over that?
Have a blessed day and comment below if you have sibling, driving, or garage door issues with your children and how to handle it.   It could be any issue.   Talk to you later.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Mommy Bloggers Unite (and I am glad I can join in the fun)

I love mom blogs.  I especially love the ones that give advice to everyone.  Oh do not get me wrong, this is not a rant post like the last one.  I do apologize for my wording on that post.  More on that apology on another day.
Really, you can learn a lot from mom blogs, especially if you are a woman.  I get great recipes, organizational tips, financial advice, and how to decorate your house, while having a baby on your hip and one in school.  One of the best advises I have gotten from mommy bloggers is how to take care of yourself.   The reason why I am saying this, is because as a single person with no one living with me, I tend to forget about time, because I do not have that 2-year old that needs to be changed, a husband who needs me to do something with him, or that I need to attend a parent-teacher conference while in the middle of a product review deadline.   Other than reminders that I am hungry or that I have to go to bed to prepare for the next day, my time management is shot.  No folks, I don’t have a pet to keep me warm and fuzzy inside. 
I do belong to many mom groups, because they have accepted the fact that I do not have a child living with me 27/7/365 days out of the year.  I have what they want, and I read intently and respond as best that I can.  That does not mean I do not want to be one.  At 48, that is still a goal I want to achieve before I die.  No really, I have a thinking “bucket list” in my head of things I want to accomplish before I die, and being a mother is one of them.   I have several posts on this blog on why I still want to and what was the cause of being childless in the first place, so I will not rehash it on this post.  What I do have is a niece who I love to do girly things with (since I want a girl), and three nephews in various ages that I can practice on.  Being an aunt is both a joy and a curse for me, because they do go home at the end of the day, and it is just me.
On my Simply Organized Crafts blog, I do offer my wisdom on how to do many of the things that some of these mom blogs (not all are focused on the household) do offer their readers.  The difference is there aren't too many articles on family.  I am currently not dating either, which is a choice I did not make either.  I just do not go too many places that I have opportunity to meet a man, and I do not like dating sites.  Again, this is another personal goal of mine. 
While I do enjoy reading this type of blog, sometimes I do wish that there was an article or two that focuses on the woman herself, and not on trying to find time after the 4-year takes a nap, or how to find time for your mate.  The other day, I realized that these women write about what they know.  What they know is to be part of a family, the challenges of finding that time of being mommy, wifey (as my sister says), or a partner to another person, as well as being an individual.   So while I might have women who envy me because I am still single, and they would love to recapture that singlehood they lost when they were married or had a baby at age 18, let us all strive just to be happy within ourselves.   No one said that being single is a bed of roses, nor being married with children is happiness on a silver platter.  We all need to find balance, and in the meantime, I want to say thank you to those women who own these blogs or have online groups that allow single, childless women play on the same playground with married with children women.   As an aunt, I am getting the best advice of them all…. How to handle a brother/sister tag team who ask for everything in sight and an older brother/much younger brother bonded in love.  Now, how do you handle a 2 ½ year old who is afraid of the automatic garage door opener

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Tuesday, April 9, 2013

America should be the home of all...

Ok, strange title I know that, and I may get some comments after you finish reading what I have to say on the subject.   There should no reason why any American should be starving, have lack of healthcare, lack of a job, and lack of a home.  I should repeat it, but I will not.  If you want it repeated, re-read the last line.
I am an American, and I feel blessed to be one.  I could be in some third-world, dodging bullets, waiting for some westerner, like an American, British, or French person to rescue me, and trying to find food.   Instead I live in a house, drive a car, and I can go pretty much where I want to go in this country, but there are those in this country who feel like they are being treated like a third-class citizen.
This post is not about anyone's right to do something, nor it is about the government and the current president, who I support, but that does not mean that I agree with everything that he or his cabinet does.  I will save that post for another day.  I will not turn this blog into a political arena.
What I will say is this:  If your situation is on the downside, why are you there?  There are so many ways that a person can get out of a situation, but maybe you were never shown how to get to what you want.  I do not know you or your situation.  I am not going to ask you that question.   What I am going to do as as you a futuristic question, what are you doing to get yourself out of the situation?   Do you have any ideas on how you are going to make it?  
For instance, I was working at customer call centers for a number of years, but I kept getting fired from these positions.  So instead of staying in that industry (not that I did not like the positions), I concentrated on getting a degree in Marketing, and graduated in 2003 with a bachelor's degree on the subject.  I decided to put it to somewhat good use by becoming an independent consultant with Longaberger and finally decided to use my passion and love for creating scrapbooks and cards in 2010.  does that mean that I do not have struggles?  I still do, and I temporary do get help, but I do not plan on staying that way.  I hope that this is the year that I do get to make more than just a an order or two, or someone hiring me to type something for them every once in a while.   I also have a business coach who is teaching me to draw money from my blogs and to do other things.
This is what I am talking about.  Find something that makes you happy and to bring you income.   it does not matter if you think that the government cares or does not care, the point here is do something that allows you not to depend on them every. single. month.   If creating a business is not your thing, do something temporary until you can have income enough to open up a bank or credit union account.  Take pride in yourself.   This is directed towards my race, African Americans, especially people my age and younger:  It is not a white thing to be educated, intelligent, and have pride in yourself to do good.   To have a sense of not being told how to spend your money and where to spend it, to get things the legal way, to respect something you believe in, and not taking something that was not yours to take in the first place, including a life is a beautiful thing.
So that's it.   I know it is hard, and life has never been easy for me or anyone else.  Heck, even the wealthy have their problems.  Life is not all about material things anyway.  We as humans just make it that way.  It is how you can make it in this world, to help others, and to do what is right by God and mankind.   To that end, I will talk to you later, so be blessed today and always.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Family and Backbone

It has been a long two weeks since I have posted anything on this blog.  I did not mean it.  I do not have a topic at this moment, and I will have one by the time I finish this post.  I keep coming up with excuses.  For the last couple of weeks, I have been dealing with family drama, family needing rides, family not listening to other members, and so forth, yet I am the only one living in my home.
How is it that the single, childless one get stuck with all of this, and I have two able parents, both in their mid-70's, who can help them, if they let them?  I have so much on my plate, but yet every time I get ready to put pen to paper (Yikes, I meant to up Blogger or MS Word to type), I get a phone call from my sister to pick her and her kids up, so she can look at a house (She has no car), yet she cannot keep $2 in her pocket, so she can ride the bus that stops in front of her door.  I would love to have that extra mode of transportation, in case something happens to my car.  I do not live near a bus stop.  The taxi is my extra mode of transportation, and they start off at $2.75 the moment you plop your bottom on the seat.   If I want to go to the North Market (my favorite place), it would cost me $21.90 to ride, and $21.90 to come back, making my total trip $43.80 (which how much it costs to fill up my gas tank Saturday).  I am sure that mom would give me a ride, but I do not want stop her from doing what she needs to do.
The oldest nephew, who wants me to pick him up from school or from a friend's house.  At 17, he still does not have his learners permit, and he has been staying at his friend's house more than he stays at home.  He lives with his grandparents (My parents), and they have legal guardianship over him.  Today, it was the "Can you pick me up from my friend's house, so you can take me to my mom's house, to get the money she wanted to give me, and then take my back to my friend's house."  "I understand you are working, but you really do not need the money."  That was his reasoning with me.  My mom want to pick him up so he can go to the store to buy something he needed, and she just wanted to make sure he bought them.
I have a planned work schedule for the most part, and when things come up, then Saturday is a day of make-up.  When that does not happen, it has to be real crucial when I work after coming home from church on Sunday.   I try my hardest not to do that, because it the Sabbath Day, and if the Lord rested on that day, so should I, and we have family day on that day too.  I eat dinner over there, and we all try to do something together.
I do things for my family because I love them, I am blessed to have them, but I refuse to be taken advantage of.  This is the only family I have who lives in the same city as I do.   While I do not mind doing things for my sister (who is actually my foster sister), she takes advantage by calling me to do something for her, then she has me take her to several places, or has me pick up someone.  Saturday, she called me to see how I was doing, and then dropped a bombshell on me, by asking me to pick up my other foster sister (Her bio sister), who had just given birth to a baby boy.  Towards the end of the conversation, she corrected herself and added that her brother in law (the baby's father,who I barely know) will be coming along, and oh...yeah, I need to go by their grandmother's house to pick up my niece, who had been staying with her.  On top of that, neither kid (newborn nephew and the niece) will have a car seat, which both are at my sister's house.   God must have intervened, said no, and gave me backbone, because yesterday, after I came home from a wonderful service, I called my sister back to tell the other one, that I have things to do today.   30 mins ago, I told my nephew that his grandmother WILL be picking him up instead of me, IF he wanted to get that money from his mom.  he called me back and said, OK.  So now I am working like I should, and I do not feel guilty for saying NO.
Now I need backbone to get these ingrates to help me with moving furniture.   Lord help us all.