Thursday, January 19, 2017

Learning new things 1: Being a Dutiful Daughter

An aid getting meds
(c) 2017 P. Lynne Designs
In December 2016, I announced that I was slightly changing the scope of this blog while creating a new one to replace my now closed Simply Organized Crafts Blog.  At first, I thought about combining it with this one, but I love the topics I cover on this blog and I would not have it any other way.  So, a new blog is underway.  It is called Home’s Little Lessons and I cannot wait to get started.  I have one other blog that needs attending to, but I think I am just going to get rid of it, and put it in with Home’s Little Lessons.   The reason is I will be an every once in a while Independent Longaberger Home Consultant after June 1st.  I will stay on to get the discount and post a sale or two every once in a while.  Now that Housekeeping is done (a word quoted by Pete Werner of Disney UnPlugged), on with today’s post.
The other thing that I announced in December was that in 2017, I wanted to learn new things about myself, my city, my state, and my country, to name a few.  I never knew it would come so quickly.  One of the reasons why there was not a post last week was the art of becoming what I like to call being a “Dutiful Daughter” and the art of, “Be careful what you wish for”.  It may come true.
What is a Dutiful Daughter?
A dutiful daughter is a woman who puts aside all the things that she wants to do for the sake of her parents.   It is sort of the same as when a woman has all the dreams and aspirations of living her dream but put it aside to become a stay at home mom only you are helping your elderly parents.  So, when a parent says “Jump”, you do not question them, except to say, “How high?” This may cause sleepiness nights, eating at odd times, and taking breaks at odd times.  You make yourself an afterthought. 
For instance, I am writing this post at 4 am, when I should be sleeping.  Why?  Let me give you the back story:
This virus/flu/whatever you may call it has taken a toll on everyone in the United States.  Experts say it is the worst strain yet.  I have not been hit by it yet, but both my parents have been hit by it, as well as my oldest nephew.  The worst that hit me is my allergies, and that is it.  The person hit the hardest was my mom.  It starts out as a simply little cold.  She went to the doctors for that.  Then a few days later, she went back, and they said it was Bronchitis.  On January 7th, she was admitted to the hospital with Pneumonia.  She was so week, until she was unable to walk.  When she recovered from that, they transferred her to rehab, so she could gain strength back in her arms and legs.  The way she is recovering, we all keep telling her that they will evict her on Friday to finally come home, and she is ready to go home.
Between going back and forth to the house to make sure both mom and dad are ok, then back and forth to the hospital, and finally back and forth to the rehab place can take a toll on a person, especially if you are the only “child” that can do it.  My brother lives out of town, and my sister does not have a car, plus I am the eldest, and usually in an African American home, after the other parent, taking care of things falls on the eldest child.
Do I complain about it?  No, and besides that, I love both my parents.  My dad has been sleeping at the hospital, and then at the rehab place with mommy, so I have to take care of things when he cannot do them.  It is the least I can do, after all the things that they have done for me since I became an adult.  They are still doing it, such as my finances while I am trying to put together my business.  They do not have to do that for me.
So, that is what I mean by being a “dutiful daughter”.  My brother is coming this weekend to come visit mommy, and to help with things around the house, such as finally taking down the Christmas tree, and other things.  Nothing matches with son, and I am most certain that if he lived here, he would also give dad a break every once in a while.
So, this is my first lesson in learning new things.   It is not like I have helped out before.  There was the time mommy had surgery, so I had to learn how to wash on a fly.  I was in my early teens, when this happened.  Of course, I have always made sure that my parents were OK.  Dad is an old-fashioned man, meaning “men take can of man’s work, and women take care of women’s work” that sort of thing.  Dad learned how to use the washer this week.  Mommy always did it.  When she gets home, I will slow cook a pork roast to stretch out the week, and I will cook other things for them.  Dad’s idea of cooking is “what do you want me to buy?”  That will only happen a few times.  They do have someone come in to clean the house, plus my eldest nephew still lives there, and he also has been helping out.
Take away lesson for you:  The lesson I want you to see out of this is tri-folded.   (1) Make sure you learn all the basic of taking care of yourself before you graduate from high school.  You never know when you may need it.  The one thing I need to learn all over again is how to wash.  The current washer I have is a two-cycle washer.  I do not have all the bells and whistles that today’s washer have.   (2) Be kind to your parents, you never know when you may need them beyond the 0-18-year-old contract, or they may need you someday.  I am blessed that my parents have been married over 50 years, never once discussed the possibility of getting a separation or a divorce (although one time when I was 10 and heard them arguing, I was sure it was grounds for one (Overactive mind of a 10-year-old at work)), and my father never laid one hand on my mother in an abusive situation.  Love pats, yes, abusive, never. (3) Take care of yourself during a time of crisis.  My mother is constantly asking me if I am eating, and when I tell her the truth of the things I am not doing to help me be the best me, she gets mad at me, and tells me that I must do it.  This includes taking care of the things for my business.  Make sure you eat, sleep, and so forth.  You are not doing yourself and that person (rather it is a parent, spouse, or child) a favor if you are sick.
Have a great week.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Happy New Year and a New Month

Roasting in the New Year
(c) 2017 P. Lynne Designs
Happy New Year Everyone.

As usual, I had a different post for December 31, 2016, but got caught up in the festivities of the celebration.  So, I am turning this into something different.

2017, The Year of Making a Difference…

I mean it.  2016 had its charms, but let’s face it, for some, it was a difficult year.  There have been some surprise deaths in the celebrity world.  We lost a Prince, a Princess (Carrie Fisher), A lovely lady (Florence Henderson), and a Legion (Debbie Reynolds).  We lost singers (George Michael), a Droid (the person inside R2D2), and a whole host of others.  Some were unexpected, some were not.  All of them are not forgotten.  My lasting request is I hope they do not treat Prince’s massive music collection the way they have treated Michael Jackson’s and Elvis’s massive collection, but they will, after they get past the legal red tape, and they will say that he would want it that way. (As of this writing, Disney is trying to figure out how to deal with the Princess Leia character for the 2019 release of the last Star Wars movie-it’s complicated)

In addition to the celebrity world of surprised deaths in 2016, in the normal world (everyone else), we dealt with 5-year old’s who became president, ISIS finally admitting to the number of deaths around the world, and congress and the Republican Party having a tantrum every time President Obama wanted to pass or veto a bill.  At least Cuba is finally free of Fidel Castro. 

For some, it was a smooth year.  Everything they ever wanted worked out.  New homes, new cars, and new jobs.  Some got married or engaged.  Some opened businesses or reinvented their business.  Some people had one baby, two, or more.  Everything has been real smooth.

Most of us had a so-so year.  I am not going to recap what I have gone through, but I have lost some things, found out about some things, and some things remained the same.  For the most part, I just wanted 2016 to be over with.

What’s so good about 2017?

In case you have not noticed, 2017 is the beginning of something new, fresh, and wonderful.  It all depends on how you make it.   This is the year of change.  Change of habit, change of venue, and change of attitude.  I do not like the word resolution.  To me, resolution means I am going to do that new thing or change for only a few days, weeks, or months, then I am going to go back to the same old thing.  Resolutions are rituals.  Everyone does it, so I have to do it too.  Try the word “goal” or “change”. Don’t announce it, if you are not going to do it.  Just lose the weight, just organize, and just spend less.  You do not need the new year to do this. 

What is an Accountability Partner?

If you must announce it, announce it so you can have an accountability partner.  An accountability partner is someone who is going to hold you to a goal.  They are going to ask you if you are on target of reaching that goal.  For instance, I am going to use losing weight as a goal.  You want to lose 40 lbs., and it is December 31st.  you cannot squeeze into your favorite pants, and you scream, “THAT’S IT, MY RESOLUTION IS TO LOSE 40 LBS.”  You tell everyone at the party, and January 1, 2017, you start.   As you gaze at your leftover Christmas sweets, the leftover New Year’s Eve party food, and the dinner you so perfectly prepared, you decide that you will start…. Next week.  That food looks too good to waste.  You said you would start that day, but can’t.  Start anyway.  
Now if you had said your goal is to lose 40lbs. during the course of the year, you can tell one or two people who you trust to be your partners, and they can check on you from time to time on your goal of losing weight.  They may even suggest ways on how to do it. 


2016 is gone.  Do not try to figure out what went wrong.  Sometimes things happen to teach you something that you never knew.  My health has taught me that, just like my car accident taught me things in 2015.  The point is to move forward with your life.  Make a difference in someone else’s year, and yours will feel brighter.  My overall goal and I have said it in many of my past posts are to try something new this year.  Not just one thing, but many things.  Try a new cuisine, a new culture, a new adventure, a new hobby, and help somebody.  Notice I did not say or in that statement. 
I am going on a cruise this year.  My first one ever.  My parents have been on two.  I have tried and eaten the following cuisines (outside the American norm):  Japanese, Korean, and Vietnamese.  I have never been too keen on Indian, but I am willing to try again, as well as trying other cuisines.  I know many have been Americanized, but maybe the cruise will allow me to try much more.  For the rest, you will have to stay tuned, because I have lots to write about.  Many of the reviews and other stuff will be noted on an unnamed blog.  I will be finalizing and start in the next couple of week, and it will not be on Blogger.  It will piggyback from this blog, but I urge you to subscribe to it as well.

Well, all I can say from this point is Happy New Year.  Stay warm, especially in the states that receive the most frigid temps this side of the North Pole.  (Does anything ever happen in the South Pole?) I heard that it is supposed to be 18°F tomorrow in Columbus, so I guess I will not be going anywhere. (Oops, there is matter of the laundry, darn).  This year is just beginning, make it a good one.