This will come up somewhat controversial in a way, but here
Do not let things or people define who you are and what your
self-worth is. I am say this for a few reasons:
In light of the George Zimmerman trial a few days ago, there
have been riots, people screaming “boycott Florida,” and a whole host of other
things. Yes, we have the right to be
upset, but in the case of riots, do not become an issue on top of a bigger
issue. The issue is that George
Zimmerman got off for killing a life that had so much potential, and Trayvon
was not on trial, but the defense made him out to be. Yes, it is time to do something about
it. Boycotting Florida, in my opinion,
does not do the trick. They will not
suffer from it. Florida is a huge
tourist town, and people from all over the world come to Florida. They will not miss your dollars. Boycotting in this day and age is not like
the 1950s and 60s, because it is in this case it is ONE verdict. This is what I told my friend on Facebook when
she disagree with my comment about still going to Disney in December. Yes folks, I am still going. I will have another post on why I was going
in the first place.
Getting back to Facebook… I follow Steve Harvey, and he had
posted applications for the Disney Dreamers group, and that it was time for
except applications for kids who want in this program. I read the comments, and I got upset over
them. Because Mr. Harvey had the program
at Disney World, which is in Florida, instead of Disneyland, which is in
California, many, many people said that they are not, repeat, NOT, sending
their money nor their kids to be “profiled.”
One person even said their family will not be supporting it. My question is since when do you speak for
your family? Don’t they have a voice? What
ever happened with that? Please support
him, if you can. I wish I had a kid to
send, I seen past programs of his on You Tube, and it is a wonderful program
from what I seen. I know, some people
will say, “Patricia, you just do not get it.”
I may not get it, and I did not grow up in a neighborhood where people
had your back, and neighbors raised you.
This is a neighborhood where everyone is an “aunty_____” , “Uncle_____”,
“Brother”, or “Sister”. I started out in base housing, and when I did get that,
I was in a church family, and that is where I got my extra “aunties” and “uncles.”
Getting back to defining who you are:
Breaking News….I just found out that Jennifer Lopez had be performing
for controversial people like Turkmenistan President, Moammar Khadafy, among
others, as well as singers like Usher, Beyoncé, and 50 cent sung to people like
these as well. I guess they like American music but hate Americans. I am so confused…. (information from BET News)
This is what I am talking about. These singers are prime examples of people
who are letting money define who they are, and what they hope to be in the
future. I am not saying do not boycott
them, because I am not, I am saying do not use them as examples of what to do
in life. Use the examples of what God
presents in your life. Learn about what
makes you tick, quirk, and happy. To translate, “Just do you.” Make a way in
this world for you to own your truth, your self-worth, and give back to others.
So what are you worth?
A zillion, a billion, a million, a thousand, or 1 little cent? NO, you should be saying your life is priceless,
and you should treat it that way. After
all, you are uniquely you, beautifully made by God, and that is the truth.
Yes, Trayvon’s life was priceless, and we must move on from
there, and show that he life was priceless, but how can you when you are
sitting in a jail cell from rioting, and the killer is walking around with a
smirk on his face. That is not giving
Trayvon any justice at all, and not owning up to Dr. Martian Luther King’s
legacy of non-violence. Just let God
Next Sunday is my birthday and while I enjoy having
birthdays (who doesn’t), this one is very different from all others. My question:
For everyone who has turned 49 before me, how has it made you feel? No doubt, it has been a joy to be ages 1-48,
and I have had my moments where I did not want that age to end. Here is what I
have enjoyed (or not):
Ages 1-5: Being
pampered 24/7, learning how to get around, and learning how my body moved
(Point shoes cannot touch these toes now, and I am mad). Being one of the first
preschoolers to enjoy Sesame Street (Did you know that Oscar the Grouch was the
color orange and Big Bird had a triangle head?). Experiencing Kindergarten, but
to be told by my Kindergarten teacher that I since I could not spell Patricia,
they could no longer call me by my middle name, Lynn. (I think because my teacher’s first name was
also Lynn, she decided that two Lynns could not be in the same classroom, LOL.)
Ages 6-17: Being “big
girl.” Taking music and dance lessons. Becoming a big sister to a baby boy. Girl Scouts, Youth meetings, and accepting
Jesus as my Savior at age 11. Finding my way. Family trips. Choosing my career
(which has changed 10 times since then). Forming friendships that last a
lifetime (even if I no longer see them except through Facebook). Graduation
Ages 18-24: Becoming an
adult, going to college, my first job, and still being able to stay in my parent’s home
as long as I wanted to (I moved out at age 34). Getting my first credit card (I
have since then been credit card free due to some rotten choices I made in
Ages 25-35: Still
waiting for that special someone to walking into my life and sweep me off my
feet (and still waiting, but I have been looking). Finding out at age 29 that I
could never give birth to a baby after wanting to be a mommy so bad (fibroids,
OB/GYN surgeons, and finances can be so cruel). Becoming an aunt to a now 6” 1’
17 year old in 1996. Becoming a sister to a 6 year old little girl (who is now
a responsible young woman of 2). My
first apartment and buying all my essentials with a credit card (This is not a bragging
right). Discovering that I actually love technology and paper crafts (even
though I still kicking and screaming at the thought of digital scrapbooking and
digital card making).
Ages 36 to the present: Finally getting my Bachelor’s Degree
in a subject that truly I love (only to find out that I need my master’s degree
to fully understand it). Becoming an aunt to a baby boy in 2007, a baby girl in
2008, and another baby boy in 2010 (and still wanting to become a first-time
mommy). Learning to celebrate the person
who I become and slowly embracing becoming a 50 year old in 2014. Becoming an entrepreneur after a string of
rotten jobs. I was either fired for not making a quota that they (not me) can
live with or made me quit because they could not bring themselves to pay me
beyond $8.15 an hour (their loss, my gain, and I deserved better than what I
The future (49 and beyond):
While I love all the things that I have accomplished in my life so far,
I have some things that I still want to tackle. I still want to be a mommy (being just an
aunt will not do). I still want that
man in my life, who can sweep me off my feet (at 35, I questioned my sexuality
that time, and I am a happily, single heterosexual to this day), but I am not afraid
of doing the single mommy thing either if he does not come along (how am I
going to explain that to my little girl).
I want a house with lots of room for me and my family plus my
businesses. I still want the family
trips with my parents and my siblings. I
want to be the person that God wants me to be.
I want to help in any capacity that I can do, without hesitation, and
without limits. I want to still own up
to my truth, which is real and genuine. I
want to make the kind of money that will allow me to afford a need, not afford
a want. It is ok to buy things, but why
buy a Bentley when a Honda will do the job nicely.
So as age 49 slowly creeps around the corner, I am looking
forward to what I have to accomplish at that age, for in 2014, I will be
starting the second half of my life. Not
bad for a baby whose doctors thought that since I had a disability, I would be
depending on my parents for the rest of my life. What the heck do they know about me? They do not know me, what I am capable of, or
how strong my will is. It was all through the people God placed in my life; my
friends, family, co-workers, clergy, and people who were there just a second
that made me the person I am, and who I am going to be in the future. I cannot say that my life is not perfect, and
I have had my meltdowns in all stages of my life, so if you are struggling with
what you are going through, take inventory of your life, and see the blessings. That is what this post is really all about
and the basis behind this blog.
When I wrote part 1, I was in my aunt’s home office. I really was ready to stretch out my wings
of this world of the internet, marrying my smartphone hotspot connection with
my IPad, and “Old School” won by a landslide.
Rule #1: When they say that a 2
year old smartphone with bad reviews can connect you anywhere to the world in a
matter of seconds with your tablet or laptop, run far, far, away. I am on the family plan at Verizon, and dad
thinks I can replace the phone next month, Hooray!!! My aunt has Wi-Fi, but could not remember
the password. I thought that it might
be her phone number. Not likely so.
Anyway, Thursday was typical 4th of July
festivities (food and fireworks), except for one thing and that is rule
#2: please remember when you have a
child under the age of 4, most of the time, they not like the loud noise. My cousin at the age of 11 lit the fireworks
after dinner, and watching them on the back patio was wonderful, except my
nephew did not like the noise. That is
something I will have to consider when we head to Disney World in
December. He will be 3 years old by
December 1st, but for now, at age 2, he was hold his little ears
closed. It was just the 7 of us this
time, in December it will be hopefully 10 of us.
Friday was getting together with older relatives day. We visited my mother’s cousin, who lives 2
hours from my aunt, and they are in their 80s.
As much as it may pain you to listen to them, learn about your family’s
history as much as you can. That is
rule #3. They have so much to offer and
it does not matter if you have heard about what your parent and cousin “What’s Their
Name Again” did in Junior high, it gives you a sense of heritage and how far
the family has grown since that time.
Saturday, we visited my grandparent’s gravesites. They are buried next to each other, and even
though I do not like to talk about death, it is a part of life. You know there has been a lot of talk lately
about Paula Deen’s upbringing, and how she justified everything she did up
until her firing from Food TV Network. This ties into my grandparents’ burial. They are buried in Alabama, the Deep
South. South of Mason-Dixon Line. Paula is from Georgia, another part of the
Deep South. The cemetery next to the cemetery
that my grandparents are in, is nicely kept, grass mowed (probably 5 times a
day), flowers on every gravesite, while the area where my grandparents are
hardly has seen a lawn mower in a few weeks, and there are very few flowers at
the gravesites. My mom stepped in an ant
bed. One side is the White side and the
side where my grandparents are is the African American side. The city and the county (called Moundville
(city) and Hale (county)) refuse to take down the fence that separates the two,
and this is 2013. This is why I do not
have no love for the south, Alabama or Georgia, but I do have respect for the
remaining relatives who decide to live there.
After that, we went to a get together at my youngest uncle’s house, and
we sat, talked, ate, while the children played outside. Rule #4:
Appreciate the past, no matter how bad it was, just appreciate it, and move
Part 3 is coming up
in a few… this is the end of part 2. Be blessed
There is something familiar about this post. I cannot explain. I took a little time to familiarize myself with family. Last weekend was my aunt on my father's side's birthday. I will not tell you how old she is, for if she read this, she would kill me. OK, that is hardly a joke to say anymore. I say it for this reason, there are too many people who say this phrase and actually mean it.
Take for instance the Travon Martin case. I have heard some of the testimony of this case, and I truly believe that this Zimmerman person feels that has done no wrong. He really believes that he had the dutiable right to defend himself. To me, if you call 911, no you do not have the right at that point to shoot and kill anyone, defense or not. If the person you are pointing a gun at is fiddling around for something in his pocket like a knife, and he (or she) has not produced it, put the gun away, and walk away. I am going to leave it at that. It is my opinion...
Back to my family...
I had fun with my father's family. I usually do. We played old school music, new school music, laughed, talked, and ate. My cousins had a nice spread for their mother, and I am glad she had fun too.
For the 4th, it was my mom's side of the family, and I loved seeing my little nephew discovering new relatives he has never seen before. I may have even seen an improvement in his vocabulary (He's 2 years, 11 months). traveling with my parents and brother is like old times when we were little, and too bad my oldest nephew, my sister in law, my sister and her two kids missed it all.
Your family is the only thing that a person has other than God who has your back. I do not understand why families fall out, don't speak to each other over stuff that happened years ago, and can't stand each other when you see them. I bet 9 times out 10 that the original argument has been long forgotten, and now they just cannot stand each other.
I am glad and grateful for the family I have, and yes we do have our arguments. We are not perfect people. For my aunt's party, one of her daughters did not show up. I do not know why, and I did not ask. I love her just the same. Same thing with some cousins who did not show either. All of them usually show up for every function. The same with the 4th of July. I did not ask, although I know two of the reasons why my oldest nephew did not come, and why one cousin and his family did not come. For the cousin, he now has a daughter who is 2 weeks old. She is not ready for travel.
So be blessed with your family. hug them, and hold them tight. I will with mine.