May you please go away

I am looking forward to June.  June is not my month, but it is close to my month.  July IS my month.  This is the month where my parents welcome their firstborn child, ME.  I will talk about June and July in their prospective months.  In the meantime, I hate to do this, but it is reflection time.

May the pandemic

Photo by Pixabay.com

There is no doubt that May continued the lockdown.  It wasn’t until May 16^th that things started to open back up.  Was it too soon? Probably, people are just too glad to get out.  To wear a mask or not wear a mask in my opinion is a personal preference.  I prefer to wear one for safety since I have to go visit my parents, who are elderly and sickly.  I have mentioned that in several of my posts as of late, and I am not about to change that stance soon. 

Because of my stance, I have postponed my family’s trip to Disney.  I have mentioned in a previous post that the trip that was canceled in October 2019 for a totally different reason and will not be rescheduled until July 1, 2020, for the date of December 2021.  I have other reasons too, including that Walt Disney World will not accept reservations until July 1, 2020, so I have no choice.

I have stepped into two stores since the state of Ohio opened back up. It was yesterday.  I had to get an air filter from Lowes and water from Dollar tree.  My air conditioner needed the filer and I needed some water to put into my toilets.  Why?  Because my water was shut off due to an outside pipe bursting from the winter thaw.  It started leaking the Thursday before, and from where the sound was coming from, I thought that it was the next-door neighbor’s pipe.  I ignored it.  I was going to take something to my parent’s house when I found a note on my back door.  I grabbed the note and showed it to my dad, who tried to see over the next several days on how to get the outside pipe, which was not in my fence.  To make a long story short, the water was shut off.  I could not bath, wash clothes, wash the dishes (thank God for being able to hide dirty dishes in a dishwasher), and found out that my attic is attached to my neighbor’s attic and only separated by a divider. Got to love the designer for these buildings.

My water is now turned back on.  It is in moments like these that allow me to respect outhouses😅.  Tip:  if you have a Dollar Tree or any dollar store, getting water from there for $1 is wonderful.  You can get $10 worth and store them in case of emergencies.  When the emergency is over, refill and save for next time.  The good news is water does not spoil.  If you feel uneasy about refilling the bottles, buy 10 more sealed new ones for $1.

The cat is in heat again. I tell you, I feel brand new when she does this.  Thank God she will be fixed soon.

May the activist

I do not have to tell you about what has been going on in the African American community and beyond.   It is another sad story of an officer overstepping his authority, and he put his own agenda over the person who he was arresting.  The man died, and it took the officer’s superior and department a day after George Floyd died to arrest the officer. At first, it was going to be just a firing. People started peacefully protesting, then it got out of hand from there. They are even protesting in my city. I found out that it is only an arrest for 3rd-degree murder.  If it had been the opposite, George Floyd would have been charged for 1^st-degree murder.  The officer needs to be charged for 1^st-degree murder.

I have or will have mentioned this in my last post, but I am tired. My people are tired.  When you see a photo of a tired person, it is of an African-American.  We have been down this road oh so many times until we cannot count anymore.  We do not have to be doing anything but going about our day, just living in the moment.  What do I mean by that? Let see:

·         Going to work

·         Sitting in the back yard

·         Going to the mailbox

·         Talking to a neighbor

·         Getting something to eat

·         Sleeping in our own home

·         Walking the dog

·         Going to the store for some skittles (remember Treyvon Martin)

·         Having an outing in the park

·          Add sitting in a car or having anything to do with a car (Sandra Bland and now George Floyd)

·         Enjoying a night of fellowshipping (the 9 that were killed in a North Carolina Church during bible study)

·         Jogging (Ahmad Avery)

I have a whole list of things that we want to do without some white person getting upset, calling the police, and wasting taxpayers money, and putting in false reports, or becoming a vigilante and take matters into your own hands.

This started well before these incidents.  There was:

·         The 1960s

·         Jim Crow

·         Sharecropping

·         Slavery

To name a few.  When will it end?

Now, I am not saying that all white people are racist.  I have some good, decent white friends who have my back.  Not all black people are cheaters and anything else that we are being accused of. I do not want to spend any more time on this than I have to.  I have started back my YouTube channel (I took a break from it), and I have addressed it there.

So, May was not a good month for me.  I want a do-over, but, I would then ask for a do over for a lot of months and years, including the months where I almost took my life, the times I did not get the job I wanted, the times I ran completely out of money and had to depend on my parents, and the times where I wished I was taking care of someone other than myself, only to find out that in one big swoop that ability was taken away from me.

Those disappointments were replaced and filled with great big moments of joy, happiness, “Yay, I got the job”, “yay, I have enough money to go on that trip or to buy something I really wanted”, and “yay, I am going to be an aunt and niece (or nephew), aunty is going to spoil you like nothing else matters, but I am also going to teach you something.  I cannot wait until the newest Logan is old enough for me to give her the same treatment that I gave her cousins, uncle, and father have gotten before her. Aww, heck, she gets it now.  I am trying to think of an outfit that will make my 3-month old niece look fly. (Oh, do they still say that?  Let me know in the comments section). 

It is times like these that keep a person on their toes and to remind us that everything is not always going to go our way.  I am trying different techniques like journaling, meditating, exercising, and being kind to myself and others.  Yes, these are angry times, and for that, I try not to watch too much news, pray about a situation, and try to take a positive approach, which includes trying to ignore the tyrant in the white house.  It is hard when your race has once again become the subject of white people acting ugly and black people responding ugly.  Find your happiness or calmness in the midst of this storm of illness and protests.  You will be surprised how much better you will feel.

Until then, I pray that June will be the start of something better for all of us.

Journaling 101 day 1: an introduction

Lately, I have been in sort of a funk and thinking back, I should have really gotten into my journaling and really explore my feelings on this funk.  I am through it now, but there were times when I just wish that I had written about this emotion and that emotion.  This is one of the disadvantages of having an online journal.

“What, you do not journal?”  Are you even aware of the potentials that journaling can have on you as a person?  Journaling helps a person sort things out.  It does not have to be during the times where you are having problems in your life.  That is only one type of journal.  There are all kinds of journals for a person to write.   

For now, I want to focus on journaling.

What is Journaling?

OMG, where do I begin?  Let’s start with your plain ordinary dictionary version of the word.  According to the Sharecare website, it has to say this about journaling:

Journaling is a vehicle of emotional exploration, a way to channel difficult feelings into healthy and creative outcomes. It is a form of free self-expression that leads to exploration and personal growth. ... You have to listen rather than run away from your feelings.

You can really expand with this definition because this comes from a health website, who specializes in using journaling for therapeutic purposes.  This is perfect for someone who is embarrassed in going to a therapist.  For that, I recommend you seek help before diving into self-help.  I am no expert in psychology.

Creative Writing now, another website, describes journaling this way:

A journal is a written record of your thoughts, experiences, and observations.

This is the definition I want to focus on for now because journaling is more than “I feel this way” or “I feel that way”. It is a series of thought processes and putting it in written form and how you are processing those thought processes, observations and ideas running around in that head we all have.

A brief thought on diaries 

This applies more to women than men but think back to when you were a child and you wanted to talk about your day.  Children will automatically talk about their day.  They may take longer to explain it because to a little child, it is harder to formulate and place descriptive words into an adult’s head.  Sometimes a parent or other adults have said things like, “and what happened next”.  When we are teens, we do not want to talk about our day, at least I did not.  I wanted to keep things in the secret, among my friends, who knew all about it.  No parent needs to know about it.  “We can solve it ourselves” is every teen girl’s motto.  Writing about it helps with the feelings.  Things like “Today was the worse day of my short life.  Mrs. Logan embarrassed me by calling on me in math class.  Calling me out because I forgot my homework.  Why do I bother in this class?  Then, there was a cute boy I saw while walking to choir rehearsal.  I am not going to do it, but maybe I should ask Tricia if she has him in any of her classes.  I almost did not get off at my bus stop because I was so tired.  Mom was mad at me because she thought I needed to make my bed before I go to school.  Who does that? Let’s not talk about my part-time job.  On second, let’s not talk about my PT job because I do not want to go.  BTW, I need off next week because of prom.  I wonder who is going to ask me?  P.S.  It’s that time of the month again.  I am blotted, moody, and I need Chocolate.  I hope my little brother, Seth the bad breath does not find you again.  I will be modified if he gives it to mom to read.  I really think she works too much at that job of hers.”

You get the drift of that entry.  This is called journaling, but it is more of a diary. 

So, am I saying that a diary is a journal?  Yes and no, and many famous people, dead and alive have one.  Anne Frank, Helen Keller, Lewis Carroll, Harry S. Truman, Virginia Woolf, and many others.  According to Quora, the difference between a diary and a journal is feelings, emotions, problems, and reflections.  A journal adds experiences to the mix.  Both are used to evaluate one’s life and reaction to that feeling or experience. In fact, a person could intertwine the two, and still have a book they can read for years to come.

What a journal is not:

I will have to say that there is nothing much you cannot use a journal for.  I have used my journal as a sounding board, rant session, crying session, and planning session, to name a few.  In fact, I research using the words, “what you cannot journal”, and they are all for what you can journal.  So, journal until your heart is content.

Different ways of journaling.

Written:

Get yourself a notebook.  A blank notebook.  Start writing something, even if you say, “The grass is blue-green with yellow polka dots”.  You just made your first entry. With that entry, expand it.  You can say, “and when I walk on it with my bare feet, it feels squishy and wet.  It must have rained today.”  Talk about how the rain made you feel.  Was it cold?  Warm to the touch?  Tastes like chocolate? (hmm, I must be in a chocolate mood today).  What color is the rain?  Clear?  Blue like the ocean.  Brown?  (Ok, there goes that chocolate reference again, someone get me a candy bar, LOL).  Whatever you put in that blank book is your thoughts, your observations, and your ideas on the grass and the rain.  No one else. They may think the same thing, put in their journal, but it is their thoughts, their observations, and their ideas on the grass and the rain. There also may have a different way of describing that observation.

Online:

Some people like to type on their computer.  It feels good to them.  For online journals, you can use whatever software you use to create documents.  I use Microsoft Word and have successful created 5 journals (working on #6) from that software, with no reason to change.  I love this software for reasons, such as it is easy, if you already know how to use it, it becomes second nature to you when you start a journal, and you can take it offline (which how I use it).  I can type in my journal from this desktop, my Ipad, and my mobile phone. I have no plans to do this, but since I know my password, I can go to any public library, college campus, or work computer, and if their server allows it, I can go to Office 365.com, go to my account, pull up my journal and start typing.  When I get back to my home computer, it will automatically update when I pull it from the cloud because I can sync with it.  That is the beauty of this software, it so versatile.  Also, it does not cost much to have a monthly subscription ($7.99).  You can go with an older version of MS Word but be warned.  I read last month that they are or have already done away with support for the older Office suites.  If you are tight on money and your budget does not allow it, any free word processing software (including WordPad for Windows and Pages for IOS) can do the job.

For those who want to know, I will link up with this article, that talks about the websites that allow online journaling.  Because I do not use this method of putting down my innermost thoughts, I cannot say which one I recommend over another.    The only thing I can say about this method is to make sure you research before committing to this type of online journaling.  If what you have to write is way too personal, I suggest you go my route.  Also, some of these websites may not be free.  Update your virus software, before you start typing anything.  Make sure you read the fine print.

Well, I hope I have given you some insight on what to expect when you start journaling.  The topics I plan on covering with this series are:

1. How to journal (or at least how I journal) and included are some topics that might interest you in getting started.
2. Types of journals and what they are best for.  I have already given you one type already.
3. More on the written journal, tools to use, and other goodies.  You can really get creative with the written one.
4. Finally putting it all together.  How you can have one cohesive-looking journal, and what to do if you decide to publish it in the form of a blog.

Conclusion:

Until the next time, if you are interested in following along with me in a free exercise.  You will need by the time you read my next post:

• A notebook or your computer
• Your favorite pen for now.  I will tell you what I use for pens when we get to the tools of the trade.
• The willingness to learn about how you write. I have only one rule, and that is to have fun. I am not going to ask you to submit something.  I do not have the website to do that.  If you want me to critic on your writing, my address is plogan721@att.net, but I am only going to tell you, about your style of writing and spelling.  I am not an English teacher, nor I never had the desire to be one.  I had too many nightmares of red marks in my day, so, I commend anyone who wants to be one.  I used to be a preschool teacher if that helps any, and I would go back to get my license in Elementary Education, but that’s it.  If I do critic your work, it is only for you to learn.   

Again, until the next post, God bless you.

Dear Diary….

(c) 2015 Google Images

“I had a bad day.  I feel like the world is going to explode around me.   My little brother, AKA “The Bratinator” (I guess that is how you spell it) will not leave me alone.  My older brother, “The Tool” told everyone my little secret.  You know, the one where I wrote that I was in love with a certain guy, I can only describe as “Y” (and dreamy).  I could just die from embarrassment.  Note to self…do not get neither one of these goons a Christmas present next week.   Speaking of which, my parents just gave me the best present of all…We are going to Disney World.  I just wish I could leave the goon brothers behind.  Eww, they just make me sick.  Mom told me that I can bring a friend.  I think I will ask my BFF, Becky.  I hope her parents will let her come.  We will have the best time, just me and her, for 6 days straight.  I would not have to put up with my stupid brothers, ever!!!!!  P. S.  I still love them.”

Did you ever keep a diary?   A diary is one of those journaling techniques from the ‘70s and ‘80s, and I personally never caught on writing in one.  One of the most famous scenes in television history, is when Marcia caught Cindy snooping in her diary.  This was from the Brady Bunch.  In fact, Marcia had two crisis in regards to her diary.  There was an earlier episode, where Cindy gave Marcia’s diary to a book reseller by mistake.  Marcia was upset that everyone in the world would find out that she was madly in love with Desi Arnez Jr.  The diary was found, and Marcia show the entry to him.   As for the later episode, Marcia wrote in her diary that a famous talent agent was coming into town, and Cindy would be great as the next Shirley Temple.  Marcia was actually trying to stop Cindy from snooping.  It turned out that the woman visiting the Brady household was a client of Mike’s.

A diary is a little bit more private than a journal, which should be shared, but today’s journaling can be just as secretive

as a diary.  I think of diaries as more of a look into the personal window into a young girl’s heart and soul. 

The most famous of diaries is not of fiction (like the two Brady Bunch episodes), but of a real life depiction on what life was like for a young Jewish girl, and her recounts of hiding from the Nazis.  I am talking about Anne Frank.  It was not just about her, her family, and the Van Petz Family (Van Daan in the book according to Wikipedia), and how they got along during the day, when they were quiet, but it was how she saw the world from that tiny little window.  Shortly after The Netherlands was liberated from Nazis Germany, Anne’s father, Otto Frank returned to that home away from home, and found her diary, and had it published.  He wanted the world to know what a brave daughter he had before she died in the concentration camps. 

You do not have to be a famous person to keep a diary or journal.  Just start writing.  Write about your day, your feelings, or it can be something specific, such as a food diary, or a project journal.  Talk about your feelings, if you are becoming a mother for the first time, and you want your child to know about the things in life that matter.  These are some ideas.  Where you keep them is up to you as well:  You can just grab a notebook and start writing.  I use MS Word to write in my journal.  If you want to go public, turn your journaling into a blog. 

Journaling or writing in a diary is one of the few forms of writing, where there are no rules.  Have spelling mistakes, but do not make it a habit, or it can spill over into your other pieces of writing.  Free form your writing.  Grammar is also a must, but a grammar mistake every now and then does not hurt.

OK, I made one mistake….The rule is to have fun.  Do not always write serious stuff.  After all, there is a saying that goes, “I know I am in my own little world.  It’s OK, they know me here.”