Journaling Highs and Whoas

I have been journaling up a storm lately.  It is one of the things I do when something is bothering me (my recent problem with a client that ended up in a divorce from him), figuring out my next moves for a trip that I and the family are taking, and getting into bible journaling (more on that next week).  Sometimes I forget that part of this writing a blog is teaching you how to make the most of journaling, and how journaling can do wonders for your mind, body, and soul (prayer is another), allows you to have some clarity to some of deepest thoughts, and allows you to look back on it as a lesson learned.  So today, I am focusing more on rules and regulations of journaling, especially when things do not exactly go your way, and I have a small little trick up my sleeve that will help you boost your confidence about journaling.

Image by David Schwarzenberg from Pixabay 

First of all, a little scalding if you do not mind….

YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY!!!

There I said it, and I meant it.

We, as humans, tend to do what as known as self-deprivation.  We like to tear ourselves down and we like to take others along for the ride. 

Take, for instance, food.  Now I do not know what happens in your house, but in mine, a conversation inside my head goes a little like this (It usually starts in the car, yes, the car):

Me thinking: “I am hungry, what do I want to eat”

Next thing I know, I go through my favorite foods and cuisines: “When was the last time I had sushi?” (last week).  “Do I want it again this week?”  Maybe, but how about Poke (pronounced- “Poo-kay”- a Hawaiian dish that has made it to the mainland United States that is quite delicious (at least to me))?  “What about Mexican?” The list goes on and on, and continues for about 5 minutes.   When I have settled on something, I will as myself if I want something sweet with it? If the answer is yes, then I will get it, feel guilty about eating it, then write in my journal about how stupid it was for me to get it in the first place because I am fat, I am saving for this trip, and it is that time of the month.

Please, please, please, say that you either made a mistake for eating the desert (or eating out in the first), or say “next time I will think twice before I eat out”.  I am telling myself that as well.

Tip #1:  Affirmations

One of the things I am learning to post not only on social media but in my journal as well as positive affirmations.  This is a clip I found on YouTube.  This is Jessica, and she has a morning affirmation that I like.  This was shot in 2011, but the attitude should be the same then as it is now.  She explains in the mirror what she likes and only that.  It is all positive.  While you do not have to climb on the counter in your bathroom like this spunky, little 4-year-old (who is probably in middle school now), have that same enthusiasm in your journal, as she has in the video, which you can see here.

Now with that, you can place your problems in your journal, and you should, but do not say how stupid you are, hate is such a strong, powerful word, and mention how you will come out of it.

OK, let’s move on….

Your writing.

Tip #2: Write like you are in school

I say that because I realized how bad my writing has become and it is creeping into my blog posts.

I have certain saying that I put in my journal that I do not say when I write out blog posts, or at least it should not.  For example, in the beginning of this post, I wrote, “It is one of the things I do when something is bothering me (my recent problem with a client that ended up in a divorce from him), figuring out my next moves for a trip that me and the family are taking, and getting into bible journaling (more on that next week)”.  I almost wrote, “figuring out my next moves for a trip that I and the fam are taking”.  This part of the sentence would have been reserved for my journal, not this blog post.  The professional way of writing is to avoid all personal abbreviations because not everyone will understand them.  How many people would understand that the abbreviation “fam” is actually “family”?  Probably less than .1 percent.

So my tip for you is do not separate your journal writing from your former writing.  This includes business and school. Now, if you do not work or you are not in school, this naturally does not apply to you, but get in a good practice anyway.  This includes spelling and grammar.

This is not sponsored, but I use a program called Grammarly.  I have mentioned this site a few times, but it has really helped me.  I am on the free version, which does not go deep into the grammar part, nor does it correct that part either.  It is reserved for the premium part.  Once you pay for premium, it will check and correct everything, but while it is doing this, please learn from your mistakes so the program does not have to correct you again.  I know by next month; I have to pay for it because now I use it in place of MS Word’s spellcheck and grammar check.  Now MS Word’s spell and grammar check will still do its thing, but Grammarly will go behind it, in case the feature misses a problem.

  

Tip #3:  Have fun with your journaling

I have mentioned this before, but have a mixture of journaling posts.  You can have your hardcore journaling where you are upset with something and you need to have it solved.  You can have your project journaling posts where you are working on a project, having to list your project, materials, and cost estimates.  You can also have your maternity, baby, and child update journals, where all you list are what is happening that day and how are you feeling and so forth.  All of that is fine, but do not forget to stop and smell the roses along the way.

What do I mean?  Add humor to those posts.  Add a little fun, positive fun in your posts, so when you look back on these posts, you can laugh a little as well.

For example, I am doing a project journal.  I am redoing my craft room. I am finding do much humor in planning the craft room, my small space, and even choosing my furniture and the cost of that furniture.  I decided to go the Ikea route, (not sponsored) like so many crafters.  The reason why this furniture is often choosing is for the flexibility of this furniture and in comparison to the most costly furniture, it is cheaper.  Now if I only put in the boring stuff, how can I look back and laugh at when I was building my Alex drawer units only to find out I put the wrong screw in (you do know that the instructions do not come with words, right?), or had the wrong measurements to the space I was putting them in? humor help with the spots that no matter how much you feel like you have not done anything, you have really accomplished a lot.

Tip #4- find a quiet spot.

It does not matter what you do in that spot when you write, make that spot as free from distractions as possible.  For me, it is my bedroom.  I have a television in the room, but it no longer works.  I also write in the craftroom, late at night.  The only problem is the cat, who wants attention, but when she realizes that I am in my zone, Gizmo Elizabeth will go and lay down.  This is when I feel alone and serene.  Sometimes, I will throw on a little gospel or some of my favorite types of music and chill when I write.  This now my new way of writing my blog posts as well.  No television, no distractions.

This is how I would like to see you writing in your journal, both handwritten and digital.  This is the only way you can get put your true thoughts and be your true self.  Raw, and uninterrupted.  Put on your favorite music, I suggest no harsh rock music, but maybe a rock ballad.  Same if you listen to rap, hip hop, or even Holy Ghost feel-good praise music.  Now is the time to quiet the mind and relax.  Sip your favorite beverage (yes, ladies wine is allowed), and start writing.  My drug…uhm…. drink of choice tonight was pumpkin spice latte coffee with a couple of McDonald’s cookies I picked up on my way from my parent’s house. 

 Tips and Tricks

I always say no matter what is going on in your life, writing helps.  Screaming only escalates the problem.  It helps you to let go.  No, you do not have to read it back right away.  In fact, wait a few months after it is over with.  With breakups, that is a totally different situation and something that you should read back years later.  For abuse situations, burn the entry, or at least read it when you are ready to read it.

Add humor when possible.  Write your entries like business or school documents, such as spelling and grammar corrections, but not for the idea.

One last tip.  If you handwrite your entries, decorating is allowed, as long as you can read it.  No one likes to lift up a sticker just to read an entry.

Have fun, be safe, and do not beat yourself up if you make a mistake.  You are only human.

God bless you.

Health Problems and how the average extended family approaches it. Humor

This is another humor post today.  It is how health is approached by my family.  I want to first say, do not kill the messenger.   I am one person, who like most, is dealing with day to day ups and downs.  Lately, there have been a lot of downs in my life, but it is getting better.  I am in no way a comedian. Nor do I want to be.  They have a place in our world.  Some have a little bit more raunchier material than others, but that is how they see their world, and they welcome anyone, who happens to be in it, if only for an hour.  It helps them let off a little steam.  Well, this is my steam releaser, and I promise to return to my regular posts soon.  It also helps that we poke a little fun at ourselves every once in a while, without hurting one another.  

I have been diagnosed with a couple of things that could be life changing for me.  Before I get to that, I want to explain my backstory (remember:  everyone has a backstory).  When I was born, and I explained it in another post, I have a cataract in right eye.  My parents and I were told when I was age 9, that it could not be removed.  I was legally blind (not blonde, but blind) in that eye.  What that simply meant was I may qualify for the dog assistance program or not (depending on how my left eye cooperated).  My left eye works great, and sees for both my eyes.  I can tell the difference between light and dark, and I know shapes.  I just cannot read or drive with right eye.  I am also missing a long bone in one arm, and have a partial long bone in the other.  This produces short arms.  I would look up the medical term for that, but I could not pronounce it, even if I tried. I had surgery when I was 8 to straighten my left arm.   I do not worry, because between the two, I am like any other fully functional adult. 

I also have Eczema, which was diagnosed at 8 months.  I have now been flare-up free for 3 years.  A rough patch of dry skin every once in a while, but nothing like a dose of ointment to take care of that.  That is nothing to prepare me for a few more things.   I have high blood pressure.  I was diagnosed two months before my Disney World trip in 2004.  There are meds involved, but it is nothing compare to what I call “the ambush” by family, especially my father’s side.  After all, it is in the DNA   

First of all, they welcomed me to the “High Blood Pressure” club, if there is ever such a club.  To me, it sounded more like a celebration of some sick sort of a dream.  All of a sudden, I was getting offers (especially from my dotting father), such as “what meds are you on?”, and my personal fav, “You know you are not supposed to sprinkle salt on that”.  I know I had already cut my salt intake by half before the diagnoses, but they kept on picking and nagging.  (Way to go, familia) I thought to myself, as I wanted to say to the elders (both living and dead), “Thank you for the DNA”, it was bad enough that I inherited the short arm thing (I had two aunts born with the condition, I was the first to survive it), now this.  My father, who had HBP since he was 17, still does the sprinkle (of the salt that is).  I had taught myself long before this to “taste before sprinkling”….

….Two weeks ago, I was told that I was “pre-diabetic”.  I do not know what that means.   Either I am diabetic or I am not.  Please make up your mind.   I had a crap in my foot, my right foot, which would not go away.  Now I am already prone to injuries due to being a dancer.  Ladies (and a few good gentlemen), you are never a former dancer.  Once you are a dancer, you are always a dancer.  You are just not active in that field anymore (or maybe you are and hate to admit it).  Usually my left ankle will swell.  I found out through physical therapy that I had torn a tendon in my foot, and it never healed properly.  It probably happened during the “stubborn” period in my life.  That point where the foot feels fine, and I can continue doing Jetés or rise fully “en pointe” with no problem, when there was actually a problem.  Anyway, back to the situation.

The pain was to the point, where I had to do an emergency appointment with my doctor.  I could not drive, so my father had to pick me up.  My mother was already there, because she had an appointment with same doctor.  I could not walk in, so my father had to get a wheelchair, so I hobble over to the chair, and a nurse wheeled me in.  After a look over, my doctor wanted a blood test, so I had to be wheeled by my mother over to “The Vampire” to take some blood.   Once done, I was given a muscle relaxer prescription, and off we went.  A few days later, my doctor sent an email, stating she was watching my thyroid, and “NO SWEETS”, because my sugar levels were a little high.   I was only good for one week on the “no sweets” thing.

Question:  How do you tell a lover of all things chocolate no sweets?  I cannot quit cold turkey.  I have only told my mother, because my father or the rest of the aunts and uncles (on both sides) cannot handle that, and I cannot take another “Ambush” like what happened in 2004. 

I have already decided to lose the weight (yes, I am big boned, LOL), but short.  I do not feel short, just call it, “I can hit the ground from a standing position faster than taller person.” Stools are my friends, because taller people do not understand my plight, and they never will.  They sometimes feel annoyed when I ask, say the grocery store manager, if they can just put my favorite foods on a lower shelf.  I can reach things on the next to last shelf, and they must think, as they chuckle to themselves, they have the last laugh of the day, as I stand on the bottom to get an item.  Hey, I even laugh, because I do not have the sense of getting one of them to get an item for me.  But anyway….I drink smoothies without sugar (the stuff at McDonalds is not healthy, just tasty).  I put spinach or kale for the iron, avocado, blueberries, strawberries, banana for the sweet portion, and watermelon.  Sometimes I switch it up.   I do sweets once a month, sushi twice a month (big seafood eater), and I hardly cook with butter (even though it is in the fridge.)  I even joined a gym.  So I am getting there.

So when you feel “ambushed” about your current or future health situation, remember that some else in your life will hold your family’s attention soon enough, like your taste in men. 

Here comes the long-winded wedding season….Dear Couple (Humor)

I love a good wedding.  It is nice to see two people you know grow and blossom as a couple.  First dates, meeting of the parents, and meeting of the rest of the family.  It sounds so simple, so cute.   Then he proposes that special someone, and then the nightmare begins.

Before I move on, I am talking about the traditional, man and woman marriage.  This is what I am familiar with.  I apologize if I am getting ready to offend some people.  Everyone is so sensitive these days.  I will move on…

1.       Setting the date.  Please dear couple, set the day that works with you, not with Aunt Mary, Uncle Joe, and the Bobsey Twins, who future wifey has known since the age of 2 (probably has not seen them since that time either).  If you set a date of July 21, and they cannot make it, do not change the date.  After all, it is your day.

2.      Location.  You do not need a lovely church wedding in a church.  After all, God is everywhere.  It is just a building.  What if the day of your wedding, the church burns down?  Where are you going hold the wedding, inside the burnt building? Select a venue that is right for both of you.  Now I do not suggest the McDonald’s you first laid eyes on each other.  Make it tasteful, like a beautiful garden, the Bahama’s, or Disney World (I have dibs on the Teacups).

3.      What to wear.  Men, it is simple…Pants, Tie, Shirt, Jacket (traditional) or shorts and a t-shirt saying, “I am the groom”.  For the bride and her ladies: Dress (white-no kids; non-white-kids), hose, and heels (traditional) or cute skirt and top that says “I’m the bride.” Dear couple, please do not make your wedding party wear something that you would not.  Ever heard of the ugly bride’s maid dress.  Yep, I thought so.

4.      Location of the reception.  First off, receptions are supposed to be fun and playful.  After all, you are celebration the union of a man and woman, now together as one.  First off, please do not make the location a secret.  We, as your wedding guests need to know what to plug into the GPS. Nothing cryptic like “go south until you see 3 moons rising in the east.”  First off, the Earth has one moon.  Second, is that the name of the venue?   Nothing like getting 123 1^st street and 123 First Avenue mixed up, especially if this is your first time in the city.  Second, have a venue where everyone can get in.  Nothings worse than to get to a location, and then have problems getting in.  It isn’t easy trying to walk up a flight of stairs, then down a flight of stairs in 6” heels in order to find a seat, only to find out that the table is reserved for a guest how never shows up.  Remember dear couple to include detailed instructions on how to get to wedding and the reception (if in a different location)

5.      It cost what!!!! Do not stress about it.  If you had a budget in the beginning, you will not end up with a wedding cost that causes you to hawk your first born child before they are conceived.  Keep things simple and light.  You want to remember this day.  You can still barter to get what you want at a reasonable price.  That’s what wedding planners do. You set a budget, tell them what you want in a wedding, and they get it done.  They meet the needs of your budget.

6.      The ceremony.  OK, this goes mostly for the people of color. I was explaining this to my cousin on Facebook a few minutes ago.  She had gone to a white wedding ceremony.  She was surprised that it was just 10 minutes.  It started on time, and was over with.  IN 10 MINUTES!!! I realize that it is your day, but this is what I explained to her…

”Yes, because we got have everyone's relative in the wedding processional, walk 10 times as slow, need to have 10 singers before the processional. The baby will not drop the flowers right, and we are having problems with the runner that will not lay down right. We need to say prayers for the bride, then the groom, then the family, lights 55 candles (only 10, but it seems like 55). Oops, forgot to say blessings over the organist, need to jump the broom (because you know it is tradition). Minister has to stop for every crying baby in the building, THEN AND ONLY THEN, we get to the vows, and do not get me started with that, LOL.”

It does not have to be 3 hours.  Again, dear couple, if you do not want an angry mob on your hands, you need to cut it down to half, 1hour and 30 mins.  Everyone you have known since grade school does not have to be in the wedding party.  A friend of mine had me and several other friends serve at her wedding reception, and I was just as happy to be included.  No, I did not walk down the aisle before her, but I was happy enough that she thought of me to at least let me do that, otherwise, we would be there until the next day.  You do not have to let everyone sing in the wedding either.  Get one good singer, have two songs, tops, for him or her to sing, and give her a time limit, unless the spirit hits them. This is why you have two songs.  If you have 10 singers with 10 songs, and the spirit hit every single last one of them, people may have to call in sick Monday morning. 

Do not have the Holy Ghost dancers in the wedding.  Do have them in the reception. No speeches from the Groom’s Men, Maid of Honor, parents, Teachers, or any ex’s during the wedding.  This is why you have a reception.  Save speeches for that time.  The exception is the minster, and he should not be long-winded.  Say your vows, either by the book, or create your own.   This is your pledge to each other, witnessed by all who came.  Someone may be blessed that day by it.

Dear couple, husband and wife to be (or Husby and Wifey as my friend says), as funny this post may sound (or as complaining as it sounds); “It is your day, your time, and the beginning of your life together as a couple, who may have children, who may grow old together (I hope and pray you do), remember these things as I, a single person, who have watched her parents over the years, give this advice to you:”

·         Listen to each other.  You both have a voice in your marriage.  No one should be right or wrong when it comes to finances or parenting. 

·         Have a united front.  You may have these little things called children.  As children get older, they get more demanding.  You may not notice it at first.  It starts with a cry for a bottle, which is a need.  Please feed them.  Next comes the cry of getting their way.  Find out first what these little people want.  Now you have to discern if it is really a need or a want.  If baby has gone to the first parent, and that person says no, they are going to ask the other.  First question is, “what did mommy/daddy say?”  If the answer is no, do not say yes. This starts an argument with the parents. Again, have a united front.  By the way, your extended family is the same way, only on a different level.

·         Put God in your family.  Enough said.

·         Become a praying couple.  Enough said.

·         Do not stray from each other.  There are other people who are going to look attractive to you.  This cannot be help, but you cannot give in to it.  Constantly remind each other why you are married in the first place.  Keep it interesting.

·         You are going to have disagreements. After 52 years, my parents still have arguments every once in a while.  At one time, I thought I would be the product of the typical child, visiting one parent one week and another parent the next week, because of the things they would argue about.  This is why you should never let your children see you argue.  If you do, explain, but never talk bad about the other person in front of your child.  

In other words: KEEP IN CONSTANT COMMUNICATION WITH EACH OTHER.

Going through a journal and found this...

Diary (Photo credit: Barnaby)

I keep a private journal, and I have been keeping one since 2000.   I never knew looking back on earlier writings can be so much fun, but they are, especially the entry I am about to show you.   Before I do, I want ask you :  Have you every written a 10 commandments statement?   For Christians, this it not THE 10 commandments found in Exodus 20.  In this case, it is sort of a declaration or a rules of some sort.  I do not know, but I do know this,I wrote some on September 1, 2004, that I have never shared with anyone until now. Some of them are serious, some tolerable, and some are darn right silly.  I re-read them, and all of them still stick to me to some degree, although at least one of them I would have reworded it differently, LOL. Please forgive and spelling mistakes I have. By The Way, this is not meant to poke fun at Exodus 20, and if you think so,  read rule #10, and re-read it more than once.  I believe that God does have a sense of humor, because he keeps laughing at the plans you make, instead of you listening to Him.   Also this world would have been gone a long time ago, and I would not be typing this, and you would not be reading this post.   Comment below when you finish reading  about my 2004 rules.

This my entry

1)   Thou shalt buy me one of the following by Christmas:  chocolate, a array of Longaberger  items (I know I am the consultant, so what,  at least I get the products AND the sales credit for it, double the pleasure, double the fun), a new wardrobe; or a whole array of scrapbooking items.

2)       Thou shalt send me ways to lose weight without having me work for it (I.E. exercise)   I did not have to work to put this weight on, why should I have to work to take it off.

3)       Thou shalt send me a man, who will treat me like a queen.  That means for the man, there is no looking at another woman, touch another woman, look at another man (because I ain't sharing no one with you, I am not into the Trois anything movement).  I also I want to be showered with everything in the 1^st commandment.   I am Queen Tricia, and I got my instructions from Queen Clarice from Princess Diaries 2.

4)       Thou shalt wear anything what your heart desires for the moment.  If you want frumpy, wear it.   Lady like, wear it.  This is your body.

5)       Thou shalt not tempt God, even for a little while.  He loves you, and cares for you, and tolerant, but not THAT TOLERANT.

6)       Thou shalt feel and act like a child every chance you get.  Now that do not mean that you throw tempers, talk back, or pout.  You will not get your way like that.  Believe me, I have tried.

7)       Thou shalt adopt when ever possible, even if it for a little while.    You will feel good that you made a difference in that person’s life, and they will thank you for it.

8)       Thou shalt live one day at a time, and have fun while doing it.  There are too many miserable people in this world, so  please do not contribute to it.    

9)       Thou shalt find your passion and stick to it.  tell people about it, and why you feel that way.  It may be your line of work, your hobbies, your family or your faith.  Everyone has something that they can hold on to and tell everyone about it.

10)   Thou shalt do the first nine and stick to them well, and we will get along.  Be safe, and do not stir up trouble.  Be grateful in everything you do , around, and see.  You are blessed to be here, if only for this moment in time.   There is a reason for every purpose.  Add laughter to everything, and if you cannot laugh at yourself, there will always be someone who will laugh at you, so have a sense of humor.  You are a child of God, and you deserve to be here.  This as serious as it gets, and I am going to get.

Good night, and adhere to the rules. 

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