Facebook, day 1: How to conduct Yourself

(c) 2018 Facebook.com

I love doing a type of posting called Serial Posting.  Serial posting is writing a series of posts covering the same subject for a short period.  Serial posting gives the reader little bits of information that may not get covered in a normal blog.  The writer may want to introduce the new subject as a way of telling

the reader that the blog may be changing sometime shortly.  My backstory of starting serial posting is (1) I have so much to say on a regular blog post, until it has to become a serial, or you will miss all of my cute little nuggets of information on the subject.  (2) I do not want to spend a lot of time doing them because there are tons of information that you can find on the interwebs (Internet) until you can literally spend a whole month researching, just my take on the subject, and (3) You have a one-stop introduction to a series.  I started doing some serial posting about two years ago, I did an overall series on organizing your closet on my now closed Simply Organized Crafts (which is now a Facebook-only page).  The first serial posting on this blog was an intense look into social media and the basic principles on how to get started.  I had the basic points of the series, and if you want to know more about the series, I will post some links below.  The other back story is for the video series I finished in August, it is aimed towards those people who already have an account, already sharing content, but not quite sure on what is the next step, or how to maximize their time and money with social media.

I started to turn this into a serial posting for a week, and I was going through my thought process, I decided to turn this into a Friday weekly post.  So, just like the journaling weekly series on Wednesdays, you will get an introduction to each social media platform, then when that part is over, I will have some weekly tips each Friday (hopefully) on the subject. 

For this round, I will focus on Facebook.  Humm, what to do on Facebook?  Well, you can post events, respond to other people’s posts, play games, post, including pictures, conduct business, and congratulate people. Even create or join a group.  That is about the size of it.  I will hit on each one of these topics as we go along.

What you cannot do (my opinion) is to curse (people do), belittle people (It happens), Spam (a big no-no for me and Facebook), and my personal favorite, trolling and threaten people.  Today’s topic will may hit someone in the gut, including mine.

Why go there?

Back in August, I found out on messenger, while looking at a friend’s message, that I was unsubbed from a blogging group without warning.  Maybe, it was I had not contacted anyone through Messenger that I was still part of the group.   I had so many things to do that week, such as find out when the funeral of a beloved church member and learning how to work the business end of P. Lynne Designs.  She had started group convos, which I could not keep up, as well as many other members, who were also booted from the group.  Was she being a little too snobbish?  Maybe, but my way of thinking was how in the heck am I supposed to do all the things that I am supposed to do for my business, not to mention, my family and friends when I am always answering group questions in messenger?  I started to write this nastygram about this group, and I stopped to think about what would happen if she read the message from my regular newsfeed, and told me to back the F---- off, I was not getting back in, and that was that?  I always have to keep my temper in check, and this is what I mean about trolls.  More about trolls in a minute.

Anyway, I erased what I was to say about this group, and I thought, “when I have the time, I can always ask to rejoin the group”.  Both tempers in check and she gets her way by removing the non-participates.  After all, it was her group, not mine.  I had one, and believe me, it is not easy to run one.

So, what is the proper way to deal with Facebook?

Simply answer:  be yourself, but not in such a way that if you have a nasty attitude, it comes off on your posts, your responses to your friend’s post and other things on Facebook.  You may share, and share often, but not in a way that lands you in Facebook Jail or having people unfriend you.  I might mumble and grumble while I am posting something that I may disagree with (not clicking the like button), but nicely put things, so that your friends see your POV (Point of View), and not come back with something nasty as well.   I will address this on Twitter, Instagram, and even LinkedIn.

So, now that we got of that out of the way, let’s talk about the elephant in the room, Trolls

I have talked about trolls until I am blue in the face, but it bears repeating:  If you disagree with something, do not like it and do not make a comment, in fact, just don’t.  Actually, I am now seeing more trolls on YouTube than any other social media platform. People are getting better about it, but I am still seeing some posts on Facebook, where people are posting (or reposting) cursing and basically belittling a post.  I usually exercise this basic rule:  If I do not like what is being said, delete it, shut the person up for 30 days (meaning you do not see their posts for a while), or unfriend them.  You do not have to explain, just get them off your newsfeed.  They do not have to unfriend you, and if they find out through a mutual friend, they do have the right to ask you (In-person) why?  Simply tell them.  Do not berate them, give a simple explanation.  If they explain that they are in a bad place in their life, tell them that you can be supportive outside of Facebook and that you are willing to listen.  At that time, you can simply explain to them your friend's situation, like why you unfriended them in the first place.  For me personally, I am a sensitive person and my father reads what I put on Facebook, and often questions my posts.  I am also friends with several former pastors.  Besides, you have to break away from Facebook (and any other media) because face to face contact is better anyway.

How would you like to play a game? (a quote from War Games (1983))

As a general rule, I do not play games until all of my work for the day is done.  Every once in a while, I may play one during the day, if I am waiting on something.  I do not allow people to invite me to a game, and I don’t invite my friends.  It is not important to play a game.  I also do not spend money on games.  If I run out of a move, need more virtual coins or points, the credit or debit card does not come out.  Why?  Because it is a waste of your money.  If you are on a budget (and most people should be raising their hand on this comment), or you need to pay for a bill, which is the last thing you need to run out of real money for because you need virtual money to build a building on SimCity BuildIt.  Not worth it.  Games are a time-waster as well.  So why do I play a game?  To blow off steam or to wind down.  I do not have any games promoting violence.  Why?  Because it can get into my psyche and make me think bad thoughts.  This is just me.  I do have to warn you, I do play a lot of eating games (Candy Crush, Cookie Jam Blast, or kitchen games where you have customers you need to feed and make money from).  Maybe this is the reason why I am always hungry, LOL.

Invites and Force Joins

Sometimes, when one of my friends has a new group, I do not mind receiving an invite.  It is to help out a friend or more importantly to support them.  I received two recently.  One from a close friend and a friend I barely know.  Both made me a member of their group.  As a general rule, I do not want to get an invite, and before I have a chance to look at your group, I am a member.  I decided to stay in both groups, but the one that I am not friends with in person, it was not supported for her, it was a support for all things business, and I was not very happy.  I may drop it at some point, especially since she is spamming my newsfeed all over the place.  Now, the other friend sort of did the same thing, but the difference is I know her in person, I know what her struggles have been through in the last few months with her health, and we talk a lot.  It makes a big difference to me.

Until we meet again….

So, with that being said, please do not force a person to join your group.  Yes, after you send the invite, it might sound good to that person to join, but let them join on their own.  I realize that I have 10 groups where the invite was sent, but I never joined. 

I will speak more on this and other topics while I am focusing on Facebook and other social media platforms.  In the meantime, I hope you have learned something a little more about Facebook in this post.   I will also cover Facebook Live, which for some reason morphed into Facebook Watch, sending messages through Messenger, and Facebook for Business, which is something I am learning myself since I recently joined it.  I will also touch on pages, personal and business, and spamming (the hacking and posting a post over and over again about a topic-trust me it is not pretty for neither one).  These are little nuggets of advice I want to give to you each Friday.

Next Friday, God bless you.

Distractions: Good or Bad (Part 2)

Example of a good distraction (Photo
By P. Lynne Designs) copyright 2018

When we spoke last, I was talking about Distractions and how they can be good and how they can also be bad.  Let me tell you of two scenarios (in no particular order):

The first one happened in 2015.  A person was on their way to the last day of their event.  The road was clear, and she had all the typical distractions in her way:  Why was her hotel bill $356 (not an exact number but close)?  Why didn’t she get up in time for the buffet?   I wonder if Joann’s was going to have a good sale today?  So, she hopped in her Honda Accord, she cutely (rather her sister cutely) named Jessica, after piling all her things in the trunk.  No time to eat but will stop to get a donut.   Went to the nearby, but realized it was too far out of the way, Tim Horton’s to grab a donut and ate it along the way.  Made it to the exit and turned off the freeway.  Got to the street, Dave Longaberger Way, and proceeded to go across, when bam, hit by a truck going in the opposite direction.  The person survived, but the car was totaled, the engine, which could not take another impact force trauma from the year before, imploded, the fire did not reach the cabin of the car, and the car looked like someone gutted the hood area, while still looked normal from the back.  

For those who have been reading my blog for a while know that this was my accident from 2015.  The Lord spared my life and for that, I am truly grateful.  It was amazing how fast I got a new car (new to me-used). Since I loved my Honda so much, I hated my Dodge Caliber for a few months after the accident.  First of all, things, I NEVER get black cars.  When I think of a black car, I instantly think, funeral car.  I am driving a funeral car.  You might as well change my name from Patricia to Morticia, LOL. Second, when I first started driving this car, I had to research it (after all, it’s my job), and it has no value.  They stopped making them in 2013, and I have a 2008 car. So, screw the notion of me getting a 2018 because there are none and the car that replaced the Caliber, The Vie? Vision? Something like that had just retired itself.  In 2016!!!  I did not like the way the new car replacement looked. 

Third, I hate the fact that I had the accident in the first place.  Even though I had one little abrasion that did not completely heal until my follow-up mammogram (the doctor wanted to make sure it was not a mass), I was forever scared of making a left turn.  I would freeze up.  I still do, especially when there is a person behind me who is in a hurry.  Not sure if that feeling would ever go away.

Next Scenario….

A young woman traveling on Rt. 270 hits a semi. The report does not say but to say that she was instantly killed.  Her father is the local sports director/anchor for 10TV.  What this message of distracted driving brings that since his daughter’s death, it has prompted Dom Tiberi to create Maria’s Message, where he speaks about distracted driving, which it does kill a driver.  Millions of kids and young adults have taken the pledge.  Not only do you have to be aware of your surroundings as a driver, but also as a pedestrian as well.  He mentions things such as not using your cell phone, do not text while driving and other things that keep a person safe and well.

This was in 2013, and my accident, caused by me being distracted by trying to eat a donut in 2015 are not good distractions, but they teach some valuable lessons on how not to be distracted.

What are some of the Distractions:

First, a distraction is anything that takes your hands from the 10 and 2 positions of the steering wheel.  Most of us (including yours truly) love driving with one hand.  I am not sure what your reason is, but mine is simply because it feels comfortable, but if there is ever an accident, the police can blame you for not having both hands on the wheel.

Next, do you ride someone else in your car?   Children who constantly scream at each other and at you, a carpooler who will not shut up, a nervous pet on their way to the vet, or a spouse telling you about their day.  Yep, these are distractions too.

Finally, we all like a little music to pass the time away.  A favorite song starts playing, and you start singing.  You get a call in the middle of the song, and you must take it.   They now have cars that allow you to text while drive by allowing the driver to speak into the speaker of the vehicle.  Cool huh?  Maybe.  In a nearby town not far from my home, you are not allowed to touch your phone while in their city limits.  Your hands are at 10 and 2, and you are not holding your phone, so you are good right?  Maybe, it depends on what city, state, and country you are in. 

Some of you are probably wondering if no one or nothing should be in the car with you at all times.  no other persons (including children), radio, pets, nada should be in the car?  Yes and no.  You have to learn how to ignore them.  For instance, when a child starts yelling at you, or threaten to toss their two-year-old sister out the window, nicely tell them to stop and if they don’t, you will pull over and make them walk home.  My mom actually did that to my sister.  Seriously!  They were on the freeway near home, and my sister threw one of her 10-year-old tantrums.  Mom told my sister to stop, nicely, and she did not.  So, mom announced that she was pulling over.  She talked to my sister again, who was not hearing it, then asked my sister to get out of the car.  Once my sister was out, mom drove off, but she went to the nearest ramp, turned around and picked up my sister, who was stunned that mom would pull something like that.   Did it cure my sister?  Nope, not for a while, but all mom had to do was mention the words, “I am pulling to the side of the road”, then she would be quiet, and not say a word.  This is why my sister’s children are so good in my car, today.  I told them that story to them, and now I have good little riders.  I know, bad Auntie.

I am still working on my Radio skills to not sing along.  I am not perfect.

So, what is the lesson from parts one and two:

·         Distractions good, bad, or indifferent and they are there rather you like it or not. 

·         Learn to work around your plans.

·         If life happens (and it will), do not get mad because you did not get any sales from your Etsy shop, you cannot start on a project, or if you have to delay a massive clean-up job on your website or come home early from your trip because of an unexpected loss.

·         ONE ANSWER:   BUY AN ISLAND. LIVE ON IT AND HAVE ONLY YOU ON THAT ISLAND.  The only problem is you will miss civilization.  You cannot hide from life.  You must go with the flow, deal with the distractions, smile and say thank you Lord when you get through it.  There is another distraction coming

ARE YOU READY!!!!

Distractions: Good or bad-Part 1

Aww, Jamaica, the perfect distraction to
help get away from life's problems, but they
always come back.  (Photo by P. Lynne Designs
copyright 2018)

Today’s topic is something I am sure you have encountered on your journey to earning the income you desired or extra income.  Heck, it might be getting through every life.

That dirty little word is called Distractions.  I capitalized the “D” in distractions to bring emphasis to that “it is what it is”, a quote that my “sister”, Judith always say. 

Let me put it another way, we will have distractions in life and there is no way to get rid of them.  It is how a person handles the distraction that determines if you are going to have a good day or a really crappy day. Let me give few scenarios:

1)      The night before your big Spring Cleanup, you plan on tackling 4 closets (Master Bed, child 1 and 2, and linen), and fully clean the Master bath.  You lay out your supplies and put them in a place where you can get to them, but your toddler cannot (Child 2, Child 1 is in Kindergarten).  You go to bed.  In the middle of the night, child 1 gets sick and throws up.  You get the child cleaned up and go back to bed.  The school has a “please do not send child to school when sick” policy.  What do you do with your cleaning plans?

2)      You are tired of your website looking the way it does.  You have not done anything to it in months.  You set in your calendar that on May 10, 2018, is the day you are going to clean up your website for the last time.  You are going to dedicate the entire day to it.  The day comes, and you get a bunch of phone calls, mostly from telemarketers.  One of those calls is from a friend of yours who is upset and has called for comfort.  What do you do?

3)      There is a death in the family while you are on vacation to Disney.  You planned this for months.  Your children could not wait.  What do you do when the family calls on you to be at grandma’s side when Grandpa dies suddenly?

I will get back to them in a moment.  I want to say something about the word and concept of “planning”.  I have said it in a previous blog, which I no longer have.  If you believe in God (and I hope you do), the word, “Planning” is sort of an inside joke that God has on His children, for “you do not know the plans I have for you” …. Jeremiah 29:11. God has never said that you cannot plan, just be prepared for when they change, good or bad.  This is where “distractions” and “planning run side by side.  Back to the scenarios ….

1)      Plan for an alternate Spring cleaning day.  So, your Kindergartener is sick, and you cannot send her to school.  This is when you make an appointment to the doctor, make sure that the toddler cannot get it, catch up on shots and other healthy things.  Come back home and make it a fun day of it (did anyone say, “Chilling my PJ’s” day).  Rent a couple of movies and have healthy junk food for dinner. Trust me, your closets and Master bath will not go on a strike that day.

2)      Your friendship is more important than your website.  Again, set aside that task and go to that friend.  Maybe she received that news that she did not want to hear.  Even still, you cannot ignore problems like this because it may also be a cry for help.

3)      No one knows how long grandpa has been sick.  He may have been declining for months.  It also depends on if you have just arrived Disney or have been there for a few days.  Maybe you can cut the vacation short.  Disney is good at adjusting your vacation.  Go to the front desk and explain your situation.  Not only that, call grandma, see how she is feeling.  She may not want you to come home, but to enjoy your vacation as your grandfather would have you to do.  Even when others, well-meaning others, might count on you and call you selfish when you want to stay on your vacation, there is nothing you can do about the situation.  It is bad timing.  Decide what is best for your situation.  Some families are not even that close to each other.

So, my little distraction is that I have either a cold, influenza “B” strain, which can act like a cold, mix in with my allergies.  Oh, how fun, is it?  I have been sick since Wednesday.  The week before, my father was in the hospital, so I had to stay with my mom.  I am behind in making notebooks, cards, invitation samples, blog posts, and editing and posting videos.  Am I upset?  Of course, I am.  But wait, there is more….

When is a Distraction a Good Distraction

Distraction is another word for, “interruptions”. When that voice inside your head tells you to go a different direction.  When you have unexpected delays at the airport.  When a buddy calls you to do something other what you are used to doing? Better listen.  Consider this….

I was looking up “near misses 911”, and a report from CNN, dated September 5, 2011, of people who would have died during these events, and here are a few …

1)      A woman, who was an executive with Morgan Stanley was called by a friend to have a cigarette with him.  She was in her office 10 minutes before the planes hit.  As she was riding down in the elevator, she felt a jolt but thought that the elevator was acting funny again, so she ignored it.  The woman, whose first name was Geer, went outside and froze like everyone when she saw the plane hit the side of South Tower.   If she had decided to stay in place, in her office, she would have been killed. The fireball went straight through her office.

2)      An artist, who backed out of a California Trip that would have put him on Flight 93.  His uncle invited him to Yosemite National Park, but he told his uncle that he had work obligations.  His uncle never made it to the park.  He died with the rest of the passengers and crew.

3)      A commuter was running 5 minutes late for work, only to find his office engulfed in flames in one of the towers.

4)       A flight attendant accidentally put in two codes that she did not want as her work schedule that September.  She tried to change it, but the system froze on her. When she finally was able to get in, it was passed the deadline for making any last-minute changes.  This was for the United Airlines Flight 175 bound for Los Angeles from Logan International.  She was upset when a colleague was happy that he had gotten on that flight.  When news of the plane running into the South Tower, she took a leave of absence and went to nursing school.  In 2005, Elise went back to flying and was assigned Flight 175, bounded for Los Angeles, she went to the bar that her colleague, Robert told her about, and had a Bloody Mary in his honor. Soon after that, she retired from flying, keeps in touch with Robert’s family, and is nursing full-time.

That last one I mentioned for a purpose.  What starts out to be a bad distraction (in this case not getting the schedule you wanted), turns out to be something good after all.

Sometimes being distracted by one person can be a lifetime of messages for a bunch of people.  This concludes part 1 in distractions: Good or Bad 

Day 4: So many fonts, so little time

from Shabbycreek.com

(Warning: sorry for the different types of fonts.  I was trying to make a statement.)

I have a little confession to make- I am a font junkie.  Sorry.   OK, I am not, but I feel that as a stationer (one who designs stationery) and a freelance writer, a girl cannot have too many fonts on their computer…. or can they?

Pros:

1.    I am always prepared.  I will never have to grab a certain font from a font store (I have several I go to) when a client wants that perfect script for a wedding invitation, (hey, this one is cute... It is called Brush Script Std.  The previous one is called Segoe Print.

2.    I am creative…. Duh, and as a creative person, I can have as many fonts as I want, especially if it looks cute in a Photoshop image (Lightroom, any Adobe software)

3.    I am a collector of stuff.  Just ask my dad.  On second thought… don’t!

Cons: (this one is Adobe Fan Heiti Std. B):

1.       It can bog down the computer.  Fonts (and images) are like Lays® Potato Chips.  You can’t have just one.  You get one, then two, and then the next thing you know, this program uses this set of fonts, while another program needs another set of fonts.  Every font on your computer gets integrated by all of these programs, and then you have a traffic jam.  You can just sit there, wondering why your computer is taking so long to load one program.

2.      You may not have what the client wants.  When that happens, you may need to go to a font store.  Sometimes when you get there, and you need something like a Segoe Script (this is a Segoe Script), you do not know if you can get it for free, part of a bundle (which are not cheap), or they do not have it at all.  If the latter happens, you may have an upset client.

But sometimes, when it is late, like tonight, and I have closed up shop, and I have shut down Photoshop, my Cricut Die Cut Machine, and software, and the paper has been put away.  I go into my journal in MS Word, and I just type in plain old Times New Roman.

Yes, a stationer cannot have too many fonts, as long as she does not have to call for Geek Squad to speed up the computer.

Day 2: What you like to write?

(c) 2016 P. Lynne Designs

What is writing?

This is the first official day of the series of who knows what.  First of all, I am going to be a little funny, and explain to you what is writing, Patricia style.

Writing is communication, period.  There is more to it than that, but the earliest writings were drawings on the walls of caves, showing that cavemen did learn how to communicate with each other.  The writing of numbers came before the writing of language because someone had to keep the records (Wikipedia).  From there, historians are not sure if the writing systems developed independently in Egypt around 3200 BC and China in 1200 BC, or if it was part of a cultural diffusion.

From there, the evolving characters became letters, numbers, and symbols.  A series of letters becomes words, a group of words becomes sentences, and a group of sentences becomes a paragraph.  From there, a story is formed.  It could be a story about how to make something, poetry, creative writing, dramatic writing, a narrative, or persuading you do or believe in something. 

Writing Styles

This leads me to ask you, my readers, what do you like to write or better yet, what is your writing style? For me, I like something like a documentary -style, or narrative.  I also like a creative style, but they are all styles that make a person think about the contents of the piece. With creative writing, I can go someplace in the back of my mind, and lose myself there. 

I love a good mystery, where I have to solve something and be surprised when the plot was not what I thought it was.  I love futuristic stories for the same reason.  I also know that I will never get to see a place, especially if it set in a time after I would have died.  It gives me a sense of that this world hopefully will go on without my presence in it.  Sadly, I have not tried to writing a mystery, a futuristic piece, or even a romantic piece, which I also love to read.

If you can tell by my posts, I write mostly persuasive posts.  These are also the type of posts to get you to think about something so real that you can taste it, but still be far removed from situation.  For example, you may be moved by the #Blacklivesmatter in the United States, but it does not affect you, because you are in London or Egypt.  You have your own problems in your own country, but my piece on the movement makes you think about the world.  I welcome your comments anyway.  How does a post make you feel when you read it, and you can turn it around to reflect what is going on in your little corner of the world?

Assignment:

So rather you are a writer or aspire to become a writer, and to note we are all writers, think about how you write.  Think about the style you seem to be drawn to when you write.  Even penning a letter to a boss, making a list of items, or creating a personal journal is a form of writing.  If you do handwriting, think about how your hand and pen becomes one instrument, flowing through the piece of paper, to form that letter or number, that word, that sentence, that paragraph, and finally that story.  Even if you type out your draft on a computer, table, or your smartphone, think about how your fingers hit the keys. Don’t forget to save a copy for you read later on in your life.  You will be surprised on how far you have grown in your writing.