Please Talk Among Yourselves

Hello, today, I have another topic about trolling.  You know the word.  You are watching a video and make a mean remark about how the mother is dressed.  I am not talking about the self-talk you make

Candle Nestled Among Flowers
By Pegleess Barrios from Burst.

as you are watching the video (also called talking to the screen).  We have all done that. I am talking specifically about the trifling comment you added in the comments section.  Yes, that troll comment.

There are other forms of trolling and I have mentioned them before, but making rude and hateful comments on another site is becoming more common, and frankly, I do not like it.  Here is why.

YouTube or Bust.

I have mentioned that I watch videos on YouTube and I also make them.  Two of the families that I watch on a regular basis recently had comments that popped up on my Google news feed, and frankly, I did not like what was said about them.  I know what you are going to say, “Tricia, why do you care what is said on these YouTube channels?”  Well, I do care because these two families, who by the way, are friends with each other, and are Christian families, really care about their families.  I also know what some of you are about to say, “well, they asked for it, putting their lives out there for all to see”.  Well, yes, they do, and only God knows why they are making videos, but, I also believe that it is only in God’s plan that they do continue. 

The first family, an interracial couple, with a boy and girl, started vlogging before the boy was born.  The comment I read on Lipstick Valley.com was things like: “why are they (the husband and wife) are so “Vegan” and “Micro” manage their diet while they feed their children crap food”.  By the way, crap, meaning McDonalds, pizza, Mac & Cheese, you name it.  My question to these people is why do you watch?  No, seriously, why do you watch the channel if you are going to criticize the family? I have seen the latest videos and the children are eating the same thing that the parents are eating.  Not only that, the mom did feed baby girl the same thing that she was eating for lunch.  They very seldom eat the “crappy” stuff, as this troll called it.

The second family, an African American husband and wife, with 3 boys and a girl, started vlogging when the oldest boy was a baby.  The comment I read on the same site was from 2013, and the comment was on the next oldest child’s hair, and why his hair was not cut.  This was during the time when the two oldest was born and she was pregnant with the youngest boy.  Baby girl was born last year and will be 1 next month.  Anyway, the comment was on things like, “is she hoping to have a girl so bad that she refuses to cut this child’s hair?  Again, my question is, why do you watch this channel?

I know as a vlogger myself, I am supposed to have “thick skin”, but my question is, why be so mean?  My mom gave me this insight when we were talking about my business the other day.  As business people, it is hard to talk about the business with family and friends, and here is what I believe is the answer to my question:  People are jealous.  They are jealous because:

·         You accomplished what they are trying to do. 

Many people say that they are going into business or start a vlogging channel or a blog, but cannot because of time, money, and/or the backlash from family and friends until they are afraid of starting. 

·         You are making a success out of the very thing they want to do.

These families are making a nice size chunk of change from vlogging. They are being savvy about the brand deals they are working with and who they are working with.  I will not mention some of the brands, but they are some of the ones I want to work with in the future, but it takes time to build a relationship with these brands.  Some YouTubers have been at it longer than me, but I cannot let that stop me from trying.

So, I did a little research into Lipstick Valley.com….

Caution: I am using a little slang here.  I will explain myself along the way.

Three Women Discuss over Coffee and Laptops
By Sarah Pflug from Burst

So, I pulled up Lipstick Valley.com, and this stuff is lit.  For those of you who do not know what “Lit” means, “lit” means it is hot, a trend, or popular.  If you are a black person, this is the place to be (although I have seen other topics on other races).  As a black person, I beg to differ.  I did not like what I read from these posts, and I would have to say that these people are mean, jealous, and have no life goals.  I mean, people, do you even work?  Are you so jealous of these families to the point of talking about how they dress, how they feel about their children, and so forth?  How would you like it if someone pointed out your stuff on social media?  You would not like it, huh?  You are lucky that these families do not care about your catty mouth.  They only care about what their “true” fans think.  I did not nor I will not sign up for this site.  On second thought, I should not have said that these people who frequent this site do not have life goals.  Everyone has life goals, and these life goals may not line up with mines and yours.  This might be a way for some people to unwind from the day, like a glass of wine and a good book, only they choose to gossip about people.  See, that was a form of trolling and I am sorry for having written that.

I am not that type of person who is here for the gossip.  God and my mother taught me better than that.  That does not mean I listen.  I have no choice.  I have chatty church members, social media is always chatty, and my family and friends are chatty.  The only difference is I try not to start something.  If it is something I do not want to hear (like the opinions of people I watch on YouTube) I walk away, turn it off, or mouth off, which is something I started to do to these people.  Good thing you have to sign up to give your .02 (two cents). I probably would have blasted out these catty women out of the water.

So what if I find myself in this situation?

If you find yourself in the situation of giving an opinion that is troll-like:

·         Go to the person who is the subject of the talk. 

You might want to give you an opportunity to air your difference to them. Now, it may be a little difficult if it is social media.  Sometimes, you do not know these people personally, you never met them in person, and you do not know their home life, except what they are willing to share. 

·         Do you know what is really going on in their life?

On my channel, my social media accounts, and on my blogs, there are a lot of things I personally do not share and do not want to share with the public.  Some of it has to do with the people in my family who do not want their life being put on blast, and some of it has to do with the situation I am in, and the public does not be on a “needs to know” basis.  Besides that, people are nosey, and people get jealous and want to see you fail at something.   

·         Commenting with mean, evil things does not help the situation. 

What does trolling do?  For one, it makes a person who is miserable, have no love for life, nor care about people feel better about themselves while making the person being trolled feel worse about themselves.  One of the worse trolling methods is when the troll tells the one being trolled to go kill themselves.  In that case, it becomes cyberbullying.  This is common in teens and young adults.  This must be stopped. 

What if you find yourself being trolled or cyberbullied?

·         First, you need to develop a thick skin. 

Yes, it is not easy to ignore the comments.  YouTube and other sites have a way for you to report the person doing the trolling, but you may not be in a position to do so.

·         If you cannot handle it, find someone who can. 

If you have a business, you can hire a virtual assistant to screen your accounts, especially comments.  In fact, virtual assistants are good for a lot of tasks, which is something I will tackle in a later post.  If you cannot afford to hires someone or if you do not have a business, get a friend to screen your social media account.

·         If it is cyberbullying, contact an authority, contact your local police, your company’s security, IT, or if you are a student, contact a teacher, principal, or guidance counselor, and most importantly, your parents.  These are your first responders, and they do not take lightly the threats, the trolling, and meaningful suggestions.  They know what to do, and how to contact the next person in this sort of situation to the right people.

Finally, do not take matters into your own hands.  You could end up losing your life over this.  If you have to, walk away from social media.  It is not that important that you have to document every detail of your life on social media.  In fact, this is the reason for me not sharing everything.  It is not that I do not want to because I love helping people, but sometimes, helping people can cost.  There are the judgments, the funny looks and stares, and the comments.  I always welcome comments if I am wrong on something, but when it comes to my life and my well-being, I have to decipher what is best for me and my life.  I will listen because introverts are good listeners, but then I have to choose from what I want or need versus what you are telling me.  We all make choices in life, and my comment to you today is:

“Choose to be happy, and make the right choice in your life and the life of others.  You never know who you may touch the right way or the wrong way.”

Related Articles:

Attention all Trolls (This means Me Too).

Related YouTube Channels to this Article:

GabeBabeTV

The Daily Davidsons

Check out my Channel while you are there:

Patricia L. Logan

Attention All Trolls (Yes, that means Me too)

Attention:  If you say mean comments about someone’s post, comment, video, etc…. you are a troll.  I am not talking about those cute little things from the latest movie by the same name, those cute little dolls people were seen carrying in the 1970’s, or those trolls from Frozen, I am talking about those people who feel uncomfortable enough that they say mean nasty things about something that another person post in pictures, video, and in print on the internet.

Before I address that, note I said in the title, me too.  Yes, guilty as charged.  Why did I confess?  Because in the Bible, there is a bible passage (a group of scriptures) that points out that you cannot point out the actions of your brother without pointing out your own faults. (started to use the Old English word, and MS. Word would not let me), so I am not exactly the “Snow White” of comments.  In the beginning, especially, I have been known to have a tart in my comments about another post or video. 

Now, I am not against our country’s 1^st amendment rights of free speech.  In fact, sometimes I think we, as Americans take it too far.   Yes, while we do have the right to say what we want to say, we really do not.  I want to ask you (especially if you constantly the one doing the trolling):

·         When is it right to call another race of people names like Pocahontas (for Native Americans) -heard that was said by our lovely POTUS (President of The United States) about another senator in front of a group of Native American Veterans, or calling each other in the same race N****.  If you do that, not only are you hurting that race, but you also do not have any respect for yourself. 

·         Tell a Youtubber that they are fake because they advertise on their channel.  (Also known as having sponsorship).  Last night, I was reading comments on Cullen and Katie’s channel because I thought that the video, which was a sponsored video for Google Home, was cute.  They rarely do sponsor videos, but I had to be nosey, and peek at what others said about the video.  Most people thought that the video was cute, especially Gaines and Brookes (their children ages 3 and 1), but there were one or two who thought that Cullen and Katie were being sellouts, being fake, and other nasty little comments. Folks, I will address the real life as a Youtubber in another post, but this is their job.  Any job, from being an actor, an ordained minister, construction worker, a blogger, mortician, or a vlogger has it's not so glamorous moment.  If you want to make money in this business (blogging and vlogging), you need sponsorship.  Not only that, Youtube has forced advertising on our channels, mine included.  Next, these sponsors will require product placement in videos, which is what television shows do.  You need lots of viewership to see any type of profit, and right now, I have 125 regular subscribers on my Youtube channel, and 556 pageviews from the month of October without posting a single new post on this blog, My Ambience Life.  I would love to see the numbers that Cullen and Katie get on their channel.  They have consistency and cuteness on their side, and I vlog sporadically, and I took off for 3 months on this blog.  

·         When you basically point out how ugly, stupid, or a being an idiot that the person was for posting in the first place.  You do not like the content, but you decided to point out the person instead.  That is being plain childish in the first place.

Folks, I have one word and one phrase for you…. Delete, and don’t watch (read).  You do not like the content, move on. This should be that simple.  This goes for anything that shows up on Facebook and Twitter feed (I have yet to see that much control on Pinterest, Instagram, and SnapChat), but you are in control of your feeds.  I do it all the time.  If a friend posts something on Facebook or Twitter that I do not like.  I ignore it or delete it.  Facebook even has the option for you to receive fewer posts from that person or to delete that one post.  Sometimes, I delete it because I do not like the language or the content is not my taste.  You must remember that this is what that person is thinking at the time.

I wish that the blogger or vlogger would give some sort of announcement when their video is sponsored.  Some like Cullen and Katie or GabeBabeTV will do that, but a lot will not.  For the ones that do not, I do not watch as much.  I am like you, If I want to watch a commercial, I have my lovely television set to keep me warm, but I must bare through it.  This happened when Google bought both Blogger and YouTube. Unfortunately, the interwebs within itself have become one great, big commercial.  This world has become one, big commercial.   

Anyway, all I am saying is (and I am probably talking to the air at this point), that no one likes nastiness and when you spend a better part of your day trying to given information that may help someone, even if it to entertain a person for 10-15 minutes a day, like I do, the last thing a person needs is someone to comment on a person’s hair, weight, their children, or their decision on what they did or not do new on their channel.  For the most part, I personally ignore the comments that are nasty, but I hate it when it presents itself on other people’s channels, news feeds, and blogs.  It makes me wonder why a person would subscribe to a channel in the first place.  I understand that we as bloggers and vloggers ask for subscribers and “likes”, but it is our job.  Yes, I could be doing a 9-5 job, and I do have other jobs besides this, such as graphic designing for others, but I love the freedom that a supervisor at a company could never give me.  I have done it for over 15 years, and it is tough when you must request to get off and get frowned on when you miss work due to an illness. 

Don’t get me wrong, I loved every single one of my jobs, including the temporary ones.  There were the jobs that I hated, and there were jobs that I loved everything about the job, except a couple of tasks that were part of the job itself.  I will have to tell you about the worst job I ever had and why I hated the job.

Well, I am rambling now. 

So, your takeaway for today is real simple.

Please do not be a troll.  I and other bloggers and vloggers understand your opinions, and we welcome them all, but some comments spell out hatred.  There is a saying that I first heard on the movie, Bambi.  This is the part when Thumper was commenting on how small Bambi’s legs were and if he was going to be able to stand on them at all.  The saying goes; “If you cannot say something nice (Thumper pauses), don’t say it at all.”  It is a good lesson and one of many on how to treat someone, especially on the internet.  Most times and before I say something about an article, post, picture, or video, I try to put myself in that person’s shoes.  By that time, the mean thought is out of my head. I also check comments before I place mine because what I want to say may have already has been said.  No use telling that person the same thing twice.

Well, I have covered trolls twice this year.  I am done.  If no one gets it by now, then remember, it is a matter of respect for one’s art, even in writing.  What a person does on their videos, newsfeeds, pages, and blogs is their business.  If a person is wrong, I am sure there are plenty of people to get them banned from Facebook, Twitter, even Pinterest, and Youtube.  No use writing a nasty comment to stoke the ego.  Have a good evening.

Day 8: Vlogging

(c) You Tube

The question of the day:  Do you vlog?  In case you are wondering, Vlogging is a video log.  It is much like blogging, but instead of writing about your day or your hobby, you make a video about it.  I love to vlog, but I have not done it in almost a year.  The reason is I am trying to get things together for my blogs and my businesses.   I am also a little camera shy, but I am finding that to be nothing more than just finding the time, the right equipment, and the right editing software to do the things I want to do with my videos.  Vlogging to me goes hand and hand with Snapchat and Periscope, both which I have an account with (@tricia721).  I have not made a video yet with them, but I am working on it.

I am a little disappointed by what I have been seeing lately on YouTube.  YouTube used to be this site, where you can post daily vlogs of the things you are doing. Places like Disney can show you what is going on in the parks, so you can plan your vacation.  You can post tips on crafts, cooking, your latest stupid stunt, and even product reviews.  I love all of that.  Families are able to show what they have been up to, and it is fun to see all of that, but lately, the environment has changed.  YouTube is starting to become a mini Facebook of sorts.  What do I mean? Well, I will tell you.

I am not going to call out the incident because this You Tuber has already admit it that he was wrong, and he is working on getting his marriage in check.  I am not going to say his or his family’s name.  He apologized to the rest of his family, friends, and YT followers.  I, as one of his followers, have excepted his apology, and have moved on, but it seems that some You Tubers cannot get past it.  She even went as far as talking to the other party about the situation and posted several videos on the subject.   I have not seen any of the videos, but it keeps popping up in my recommended videos feed like I am supposed to watch any of this nasty YTubber’s video.  I want to block them, I do not like them, and I so not want to see them, period.

To those of you who do make videos on a regular basis, my question to you is, “If you made a mistake, and you posted a video about the mistake, how would you feel when someone else post about it?  For me, I would be devastated to the point where I would ask myself if it is worth posting videos at all.  To me, we are all human, and humans make mistakes.  It is not for us to judge on the character of the poster, or in this case, vlogger.  The YTubber apologized to his family, that is what counts, and for this other person, who is not part of the situation, nor knows the YTubber in question or the alleged person, personally, to make a video about it is downright selfish.     Now, if other members of the YTubber’s family did not except the apology, that is on them, but I believe that if they are a forgiving person, especially one who is Christian or Spiritual in nature, they will work on what is not working in their marriage, get help (which they have been doing all of 2015), and move on from there.  No one but God is perfect.  We all can ask for a little forgiveness in our lives when we do wrong.

As for me, I will continue to support this YTubber and his family.  I hope YT will find a way for me to get rid of the person who posted the stupid video and begging me to watch it.  I will continue to try to put up my first video of 2016.  The YTubber in question has taken some time away from Social Media(SM) (YT in general) to continue to work on his family life.  To all those haters who know who I am talking about, have seen his videos, or follow him on SM, please do not make any suggestions to him or his family about what to do in their lives, especially in regards to social media.  To those like me who do follow him (I follow on Facebook, YT, Instagram, and Twitter- yeah I am that person who has to follow people on all platforms), and know who I am talking about, please continue to support him.  He is just a human who has made a mistake.  I am a softie like that.  Which is why I still like Bill Cosby (do not judge).  

Vlogging it 2.0

I realize that life has given me so many battles during the past few weeks, until I did not want nor had the strength to post anything much.  This is what happens what happens when you are overwhelmed by the stench of what is known as grief for someone or something, financial woes, and just feeling sorry for yourself.  The very idea of sharing my life with people is still new to me, as I am a known introvert.  When something happens in my life, rather it is through my own doing, or something happening in someone else’s life to the point where it affects you, it will affect you hard, depended on what type of person you are.

To that end, this past month, I have projects that I did not get to because of the events of July, August and September, rather good or bad.  I have lost three months out of my life, which could have been productive, but due to me being too busy to stop, or my own sadness during these events, I am playing catch-up.  It is a good thing that none of it had due dates, except from me.  No clients were involved.   But were they?

In a way they were, but they were what I like to call invisible clients.  They were people, who happened to wander into my Etsy shop, and saw 5 notebooks for sale day in and day out.  I did not make any new cards to sell, nor scrapbooks, so I left my shop as is.  Making new products was one way to get new clients, who have not heard about you into your shop, rather it is online or brick and mortar.  They were people, who could have been looking for a new writer to create a document for them, their blog or website, or their business.  The document, post, or even a printable could have been just the thing to put their services over the top.  These were the people, who could have sent me that contract, which could have been of something big for me, but I was so into the stuff that brought me down, until I wonder if I have missed my blessing.   Let me tell you why that was not necessarily a bad thing…

I had friends who needed someone to reach out to them, and to say, “I’m here for you”.  I had things that I needed to take care of, but I was so busy trying to make my businesses work, until I felt drained and overwhelmed with the business and other personal situations.  I had a God who said to me, “you need to rest”, but I fail to see that I needed all of this, because I was going too long without it.  I was not focus on Him, but I was focus on stuff, to which, my friend is not good. 

The things I am saying to you, as a Christian woman, what good is it to accumulate all this stuff, if:

A)   You are not blessing someone in the process, and

B)    You cannot take it with you.

Sure, we need to eat, we need to interact, and we need to pay for all of this stuff.  So, I am glad I did not catch up with all the things I did not take care of in the product making business. This rest gave me a chance to make some changes, some that I will share here, while others I will share on my other blogs, because they fit the subjects I have on them.  I will not share them in this post.    I will share this:  I am vlogging again.  I have computer with a webcam and I am looking into getting a tripod for my regular camera and smartphone for tutorials.  When I bought my Sony Camera for my birthday, they gave me a mini tripod, which is not the friendliest tripod in the world (I have seen better brands), but it will do for right now.   I asked a YouTubber named Gabrielle Flowers Raider of Gabe and Babe TV and The Gabe Fix in her Google Hangout last night if she had any pointers for my channel, and she said to Be Consistent.  Start with once a week, and see how that goes.  So I have already made one new video before I asked her that question, so I will put up another one next week.

Anyway, I have ran over my time, so I will also be constant with my next blog post as well.