Who puts the most pressure on you -- yourself or others?

Photo by Planet Improv

Well today, I am back to doing my prompts, and it is very refreshing to know that I can come back to them.   That is the plan for 2014.  I have other ideas to write on this blog, plus I do not want you to say, “Not again.”  I love mixing it up a bit.

Who puts the pressure on more?

Good question.  I would have to say me.  Sometimes, I think I am my own worst enemy.   Everyone look at my work, and they say that it beautiful, while I say half the time, “what do they know, look I missed a spot.”  I know deep in my mind I did a good job.  I am the same way with my music (both instrumental and singing), my dance, and the way I carry myself.  I am not trying to be perfect, only God is perfect, and I could never measure up to Him.  When I mess up, I often cannot let it go, and that is the biggest problem I have with myself.  When I think I am getting better about it, it happens all over again.

A great example of that problem is now.  Last November (2013) I was in an accident with my sister.  I have the license, she was learning how to drive.  She had a learner’s permit, and we were running late getting to her job.  It started out innocent, I was invited to a shopping event through my women’s business group, so we went.   I had tried on some pants and I was getting a jacket and 2 pairs of socks (one for me and one for her).  My sister was due at work at 8 pm, and when we got to the register, it was almost that time. So while I was checking out, she got my keys, and drove my car up to the door.  Instead of me hopping to the driver’s side, I thought this would be a good time for her to practice driving, so I hopped in the seat on the passenger side, and we were on our way.   We got to the corner, and my sister asked me if I needed gas and I reminded her that she was running late, but thought better of it, and said OK.  The light was yellow, but she thought that she would pull in behind the car in front of us, who sped up to make the light.  I warned her not to do it, but before I said her name, SMACK, we ran right into the side of a red truck in another lane.  

My sister immediately got upset, and we sat there for a second while I got ready to look at the damage.  The ironic thing about it all, was a police car behind the red truck. They instructed both us and the other person to pull into the parking lot across the street.  My sister was so upset, until I had to drive the car to the lot.  While we were driving, I made the decision to tell our dad that I was the one driving the car, since he really did not want her to practice driving in my car.   What we found out later from the police was (1) in the State of Ohio, people with learner’s permits cannot drive at night (neither one of us knew that) and (2) her learner’s permit had expired (she told me and our mom that it expires in December).   We told mom the truth the next day, but our dad just found out through the other driver’s insurance company that my sister was the one driving last night.  I do not know why I made that decision, but I cried for two nights, even though my dad has said that he forgives us for not telling him that night.  I am the responsible adult, but I choose not to, because I wanted to protect my dad from this news.  I am not sure if he found out that my sister also went to court for the incident.  She was charged, I was not.   Just lack of poor judgment that could happen to anyone (a mistake), but I am still beating myself up for something that was not totally my fault.

So, I got to get better about things like that, and also enjoy the imperfections I see in my work that others do not see.  By the way, my hood was totaled, I had to get a new one, and the other driver’s damage was $800.  A fender.  He did not want to deal with it but his insurance company wanted to.  So I guess I will be out $800 that I do not have.

So who put the most pressure on you?  I would love to hear your answers, so please comment below.   Be blessed, my friend, and be careful out there when driving.  NO TEXTING OR TALKING ON THE PHONE.