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| (c) National Suicide Center Logo |
I am here to confess that at age 22, I almost took my own
life. Yes, I was so upset that I was not
in school, I did not have a job, and I was still living with my parents. I had problems with the constant itching from
Eczema, and the doctor prescribed for me Atarax (Sp?). So one day, I was sitting in my room, on the
floor, and looked at them. I poured
them all on the floor, and thought, "If I took 10, which would do the
trick, my parents will never have to worry about me anymore." God dispatch his angels to stop me, and I all
of a sudden heard myself say, "What the heck am I doing?" So I picked them, and put them back into the
bottle, and never thought about taking my life again.
It only takes a second, and if you really think about all
the amazing things you have in life, and if they outweigh that one bad thing,
then your life is not half bad. You are
going to have some problems, because I have them now, it is called life. I know what I thought about at age 22 was
nothing compared to what Robin Williams went through. He had all this amazing talent, but after the
cancellation of his show, rehab, and whole host of things that only he and God
truly knew what he was going through. I
just hope and pray that he did make peace, although it does not sound like it,
because if he did, this would turned out much, much differently.
Please, if you even for a second thought about taking your
own life, like I did, please get help. I
should have, because those thoughts can easily creep on you again. Thursday, at Longaberger's consultant's
convention, there was not a dry eye, when the story of Jackie was played.
Jackie, (I am not sure if I can reveal her last name, so for
privacy, I have deleted it) had gone through so much. First, she had a stroke, then her husband
left her because of the stroke. Next, her
sister, her only sibling died. My guess
was that her parents were already deceased, they were not mentioned in the
video. Her son, who had been serving in
the Navy in Texas, had come home from a tour.
While he was at home, he showered his mom so much, Jackie never knew the
pain he was harboring inside. He even
told his mom, that his dad was not worth keeping and for Jackie to not go after
him. Her son spent 9 months at home, and
one day, Jackie found him in his room, and he had taken his own life. She knew why. After the funeral, she mentioned that she
did not want to live at that point, and went into a bout of despair. She said that if it wasn't for her team, her
faith, God, and Longaberger, she would not be here today.
I wish that Mr. Williams could have heard this, and say that
despite my problems, I am so glad that I am still here, and that this too shall
pass. That is what I always tell myself
before thinking the worst.
If you know someone, who may decide to take their own life,
the National Suicide center suggest you to look for these signs:
- Talking
about wanting to die or to kill themselves.
- Looking
for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online or buying a gun
- Talking
about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live.
- Talking
about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain.
- Talking
about being a burden to others.
- Increasing
the use of alcohol or drugs.
- Acting
anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly.
- Sleeping
too little or too much.
- Withdrawing
or isolating themselves.
- Showing
rage or talking about seeking revenge.
- Displaying
extreme mood swings.
There is a hotline for you to call, and that number is 1-800-273-8255
I hope that this will bring you some comfort, and if you are
contemplating taking your life, please get the help you need. Your life is much more precious then you will
ever know, and so much more.
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